Ninih Muthmainnah Muhsin

Dec 9th, 2006, in Society, by

Aa Gym‘s first wife Ninih Muthmainnah Muhsin discusses her situation.

Ninih Muthmainnah Muhsin, the head of the Muslimah Center at the Yayasan Daarut Tauhid in Bandung, and normally called Teteh Ninih, said in Batam on the 6th that being a madu, or co-wife, was not a sad thing but beautiful, because she was able to look at things from more than just the physical side.

Ninih Muthmainnah Muhsin
Ninih Muthmainnah Muhsin.

Then she recalled how she felt upon the prospect of meeting her husband’s new bride, Alfarini Eridani, for the first time. Not knowing what to say she just smiled, and, she told her audience, she did not punch her, this last comment being greeted with laughter.

Seeing her husband leave her for his other home was not pleasant:

It hurts when Aa goes there [to his other wife].
(Rasanya panas, kalau Aa lagi di sana. Huhh)

Stoically however she said feeling jealous was just a natural form of love for one’s husband and noted the example of Aisyah, who was one of Muhammad’s numerous wives, and who always felt such a feeling when Muhammad was off with another member of his harem. gatra


63 Comments on “Ninih Muthmainnah Muhsin”

  1. avatar Rockstar says:

    said in Batam on the 6th that being a madu, or co-wife, was not a sad thing but beautiful

    we certainly live in a sick world

  2. avatar CA94 says:

    Good for you Teh Ninih, I hope that’s true (for you)

  3. avatar Ismail says:

    Well mohammed and his god are wrong, that means polygamy is alway wrong under any situation, either in the time of war or peace, widows (orphans) can be looked after in other ways, other than “Muslims marrying them to protect them”, how lame!

    Islam is a perfect way to disobey the God of the bible and still feel like you are serving god. It’s really a sick world.

  4. avatar bill says:

    I don’t think that both Jesus Christ and Prophet Muhammad taught their followers to attack other people’s religion. So whoever attack other people’s religions, they must be not the follower of Jesus nor Prophet Muhammad. If you people are followers of these two great men, then proof it and behave like them!!!

    What are you trying to get by attacking each other? It shows that those who attack other people religion are bunch of uneducated people, selfish and losers. They do not even deserve to live on this earth.

    Whether Aa Gym wants to have 2,3 or 4 wives, it is his life. It won’t effect your freaking life. As for Teteh Ninih…either she loves her husband so much and she is willing to sacrifice but how can you know her heart…it is unknown to mankind about this heart feeling.

    It seems that Indonesian people like to argue a simple thing that will not have any benefit at all! No wonder your country and specially your government never solve the corruption cases which the rest of the world think is more important. Polygamy or prostitution is an old subject that has been happening for a long time ago…n no point to discuss it…Wake up dudes!!! Get a life!!!

  5. avatar Anonymous says:

    classic.
    people of different religions fighting because they believe in different ‘gods’.
    why can someone be so sure that the god that he/she believes in is the right and the only one.
    what good are religions if they only make people attack each other.
    I was taught at school that god is ‘maha penyayang’, ‘maha pengasih’, ‘maha pemaaf’, etc, etc, etc… all good attributes.
    I direct this question to everybody: do you believe that your god is well described by those attributes?
    I believe my god is. And I know for sure that I don’t have to hurt anyone who doesn’t have the same belief as mine.

    before somebody asks,
    Am I an atheist? No, I believe that god exists.
    Which god exactly? Nothing specific. Does it even matter?

  6. avatar Rockstar says:

    Whether Aa Gym wants to have 2,3 or 4 wives, it is his life. It won’t effect your freaking life.

    hehehe ya, well it won’t effect my friggin life bill, but certainly I’m alergy to hypocrite.. it’s better if he’s just be a normal regular people and not telling people how to live their life 🙂
    as i say this again and again, this has nothing to do with being Moslem or Christian, i just hate that kind of people.

    but cmon bill, it’s not just Indonesian, I don’t know where you are from but I don’t believe that you -in your life- never argue about a small thing.. just admit it.. we all do.

    for example today, my co-worker argued about why he wasn’t invited in today’s lunch.. hehehe wasn’t that crazy bill? 🙂

  7. avatar Ismail says:

    bill, i mean no disrespect, but you are a mixed up fellow and i am sure you know nothing about Jesus. Jesus won’t let evil like polygamy go without talking about it please read, Matt 19…., offcourse religious people who implied that it was ok to marry a couple of times, he told them to there face that they were wrong. and please go study the two personalities, however, mohammed attacked Christians and Jews, he twisted bible character and made them in his own image, he insulted our fundamental Christian principle and made Christ look inferior to himself, inspite of his imperfections and flaws. he was vile, immoral and wicked. Jesus was perfect in life,death and resurections. wow

    stop lumping them together, cause they so different(mohammed and Jesus), its simply black and white, evil and good. darkness and light.

    finally polygamy is adultery and there sin, it disrespect to our wives, it distroy society, offcourse its Aa’s choice, his disregarding new wife and his living-in-denial old wife. but the truth must be told simple.

    mohammed and Allah are wrong about polygamy being right, cause its not, its a sin before the God of the bible and his Christ.

  8. avatar taxpayer says:

    Stoically however she said feeling jealous was just a natural form of love for one’s husband and noted the example of Aisyah, who was one of Muhammad’s numerous wives, and who always felt such a feeling when Muhammad was off with another member of his harem.

    Jealousy has been clinically and medically proven to be a form of ANGER and unhealthy to the physical being.

    What AA Gym has done is a disgrace to all, a disgrace tro his profession and a disgrace to his “ORIGINAL” wife.

    He is supposed to be a religous leader. His 2 wives situation is a joke.

    But….alas…. he claims that the Quran allows this.

    I DARE ANYONE TO FIND THIS IN THE QURAN, THE BIBLE, THE TORAH or any other book of god.

    Did he give the family of the new wife 14 camels too as a token of his wealth?

  9. avatar Ismail says:

    josh, Christians are told to follow the words of Christ and he told us to marry just one wife, and he said divorce is not acceptable. but the prophet of Islam married more than 10 wives and he his allowed to also have sex with slave girls.

    the verses you requested for,

    Qur’an 4:3 “If you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with orphans, marry women of your choice who seem good to you, two or three or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to do justice (to so many), then only one, or (a slave) that you possess, that will be more suitable. And give the women their dower as a free gift; but if they, of their own good pleasure, remit any part of it to you, eat it with enjoyment, take it with right good cheer and absorb it (in your wealth).”

    Qur’an 33:50 “O Prophet! We have made lawful to you all the wives to whom you have paid dowers; and those whom your hands possess out of the prisoners of war spoils whom Allah has assigned to you; and daughters of your paternal uncles and aunts, and daughters of your uncles and aunts, who migrated with you; and any believing woman if the Prophet wishes her; this is a privilege for you only, and not for the rest of the Believers; We know what We have appointed for them as to their wives and the captives whom they possess; in order that there should be no difficulty for you and that you should be free from blame.”

    since the prophet is the ideal example for Muslims to follow. i guess it follows to copy every bit of his life. including his polygamy.

    but let me state again that, Jesus Christ called it adultery, therefore a sin.

  10. avatar Mohammed Khafi says:

    Ismail,

    I see you have been delving into the Muslim haters translation of Al Quran again!

    In 4:3, What your translation calls “a slave” in Al Quran is actually the term “ma malakat aymanukum” which means “what you rightfully possess” or “what you [already] have”.

    In 33:52, the Prophet is forbidden to marry any more women in spite of their beauty except to MARRY only the slave girls or prisoners of war referred in 60:10, to make them part of the family and give them status. This was an exeption given only to The Prophet as he has been the only person deemed fit by Allah to treat his wives justly and fairly.

    If anybody wishes to read more on this subject please see The Quranic Teachings

  11. avatar bill says:

    How can you just a person from reading his comment at this site ? before judging a person, you should know the whole damn thing, then you say whatever you want to say. Is there anything in Bibles saying that if you are a Christian, you can attack Muslims and Jews without knowing what their teachings are ? Also if you are a Muslim, is there anything in Quran or Hadiths saying that you can attack other non Islamic followers ? Also if you are a Jew, is there anyting about attacking other religion in Torah ? If someone says that one religion did that and this this person should back his/her statement with some references. Just dont accuse based on your opinion without any facts !

    Did anybody here who are not Muslims ever learn or read about the whole Islamic teachings ? Also the same thing for those who are Muslims, did all of you know about other religions teachings ? or just knowing the world polygamy and make a comments on it based on your prejudice and ignorance. or it is because Jesus never get marry and Prophet Muhammad has several wives..and the argument based on this without knowing the circustances and knowldege from sides ?

    Shouldn’t be if you are Christians, Muslims or Jews to preach your own religions ? If all religions are attacking each other, do people need religion then ?

  12. avatar CA94 says:

    Teh Ninih, you don’t try to encourage women to accept polygamy, do you? Please don’t. Even if you’re happy in it, I believe polygamy is wrong and nobody should get involved.

  13. avatar Bradlymail says:

    Teh Ninih the way you expressed yourself, you feel unhappy with polygamy, you feel hurt and heart-broken. Please don’t deny it!

    Bill I agreed with your comment earlier:

    I don’t think that both Jesus Christ and Prophet Muhammad taught their followers to attack other people’s religion. Ismail I think you are too much already and please mind your words”¦

  14. avatar Mohammed Khafi says:

    Bill said:

    I don’t think that both Jesus Christ and Prophet Muhammad taught their followers to attack other people’s religion.

    Quite correct Bill, Al Quran says:

    “Surely those who believe, those who are Jews, and the Christians, and the Sabians, whoever believes in God and the Last day and does good, they shall have their reward from their Lord, and there is no fear for them, nor shall they grieve.” 2:62

    Unfortunately mainstream Muslims are taught that only their religious practices lead to heaven, despite these clear words from Allah.

    Allah confirms that this is the case when he is talking about the places within which he is worshipped:

    “Those who have been expelled from their homes without a just cause except that they say: Our Lord is God. And had there not been God’s repelling some people by others, certainly there would have been pulled down cloisters and churches and synagogues and mosques in which Allah’s name is much remembered; and surely Allah will help him who helps His cause; most surely Allah is Strong, Mighty.” 22:40

    When I see mainstream Muslims tearing down churches, it saddens me that they are not aware of their own lords words.

    Anybody who wants to see how The Prophet behaved towards those of other faiths only needs to read the text of a charter of freedom to the monks of St. Catherine Monastery in Mt. Sinai which he sent in 628 CE. The document purported to be signed by The Prophet himself survives to this day.

    This document consisted of several clauses covering all aspects of human rights, including such topics as the protection of Christians living under Islamic rule, freedom of worship and movement, freedom to appoint their own judges and to own and maintain their property, exemption from military service, and the right to protection in war.

    Here is the letter written to the monks. This letter was written at a time when no one was talking about freedom of religion, pluralism or protection of human life.

    “This is a message from Muhammad ibn Abdullah, as a covenant to those who adopt Christianity, near and far, we are with them. Verily I, the servants, the helpers, and my followers defend them, because Christians are my citizens; and by Allah! I hold out against anything that displeases them.

    No compulsion is to be on them. Neither are their judges to be removed from their jobs nor their monks from their monasteries.

    No one is to destroy a house of their religion, to damage it, or to carry anything from it to the Muslims’ houses. Should anyone take any of these, he would spoil God’s covenant and disobey His Prophet. Verily, they are my allies and have my secure charter against all that they hate.

    No one is to force them to travel or to oblige them to fight. The Muslims are to fight for them. If a female Christian is married to a Muslim, it is not to take place without her approval. She is not to be prevented from visiting her church to pray.

    Their churches are to be respected. They are neither to be prevented from repairing them nor the sacredness of their covenants. No one of the nation (Muslims) is to disobey the covenant till the Last Day (end of the world).”

    This document is historical evidence of the character of The Prophet, it is not the nonsensical heresay of Sunnah and Hadith which have corrupted the true character of Islam and which the haters of Islam use as a weapon against it.

    True Islam is about pluralism, tolerance, and the renunciation of violence and compulsion in religion.

  15. avatar lili says:

    Only God knows what teh Ninih truly feels. I’ll only pray for the best.
    Yes people, let us all not attack each others’ religion as doing so will not make one’s life any better and I believe we all wanted peace. Ultimately, everyone will face death alone and only him/her will know what is there to greet them in the after world. The best one can give to the other fellow humankind is their prayer and best wishes.
    God bless us all.

  16. avatar Rockstar says:

    bill, i agree with you but I don’t see you understand the whole point.. we -at least me and a few others- are not bashing AA because of his religion.. it’s the whole damn hypocrisy thing.. and i just can’t stand of it.

    i believe in diversity however.

  17. avatar Dimp says:

    “being a madu, or co-wife, was not a sad thing but beautiful…. It hurts when Aa goes there [to his other wife].”

    If it is a beautiful thing, then you should not feel hurtful….

  18. avatar Ihaknt says:

    if i post my comment will you delete it?

    i just wanna say that teh nini must be in a very difficult situation.stand up for yourself honey…you will be ok if you divorce him.

  19. avatar Dimp says:

    Hi Ihaknt,

    I think she is in a difficult situation because she is painting herself into the corner here, now if she wants to get a divorce she will contradict herself saying that a wife has to follow her husband to get into Heaven.

    Come on all Moslem sisters wake up!!!

  20. avatar Ihaknt says:

    i think there should be more to it to go to heaven than just being obedient to a husband…wotif u obey ur husband but slander other people, commit murders, and actually mendendam inside…this is rhetorical question, not directed to teh nini. i mean, to go to heaven is not enough just to accomplish your kewajiban right? you also have to be a good person. khafi can you answer me, please?

  21. avatar Dede says:

    I have no comment for all the argument above…
    I am a Muslim too but hey… let people open their mouth as they wish… what matter is your believe and leave the rest in peace…

    Teh Ninih is trying her best so far and let’s wait and see what will happen to them… i think they will do good… trust me!

    Me…? no please no poligamy! that hurts!!!

  22. avatar Mohammed Khafi says:

    Ihaknt said:

    i mean, to go to heaven is not enough just to accomplish your kewajiban right?

    According to the Hadith it is enough!:
    “Um Salma said the messenger of God said; “If a woman dies while her husband was pleased with her, she will enter Paradise”

    God never said in the Quran that obeying your husband is a criterion to enter paradise. Obeying your husband comes from the mutual respect and love that God talked about in the Quran. If going to Heaven means cooking the favorite food of your husband, massaging his feet, wash his clothes and allow him to take a second or third wife, this could be an easy way out of all your religious duties. That is what Satan wants to put in the minds of those who do not want to follow the Quran.

  23. avatar MAS MACHMOOD says:

    Dear Mdm Ninih Muthmainnah Muhsin,

    Chill lady. Here’s something to ponder in your confusion.

    Never rely on men! When things are not going well, there is always something you can count on – your fingers.

    Wishing you the best of luck. All the best.

  24. avatar Dimp says:

    Hi Khafi,

    True that obeying your husband comes from mutual respect, one question when Aa Gym said that he wants to marry another woman, does this mean that he no longer respect Teh Ninih, and with that he forfeits his demand for his self-respect as well?

    Thanks.

  25. avatar Ihaknt says:

    PHEW!!! So I have a chance to enter paradise!!! Thanks Khafi….because I always stand up for myself if my husband starts to get annoying. I think apart from religion as a guidance in life, one must also use what God almighty himself gave us…BRAIN hence common sense! Hands up if you agree!

  26. avatar taxpayer says:

    Again….the most intelligent comments seem to come from a woman. Bless ya’ girl.

    COMMON SENSE. Both my hands are up. Common sense is always the predominate factor. God did give us all a brain.

    As for all these “who will” and “who won’t” enter paradise, has God gone on vacation and given this duty to someone on http://www.Indonesiamatters.com?

    Is all the wisdom of God summed up into one book?

    Or…..

    Did God recognize in his wisdom that man could never be able to accurately pass down His true words and meanings so God gave us all brains to sort out the difference?

    COMMON SENSE. This is why I enjoy women more. They actually have some.

  27. avatar Ihaknt says:

    Intelligent women are sexier…maybe that’s why aa took a second wife…maybe Teh Nini is too obedient so no more challenge…but I don’t know…no one really knows what goes on behind closed doors. Whatever it is hope Teh Nini will come to her senses and whoop aa’s sorry behind!

  28. avatar Dimp says:

    Hi Ihaknt,

    Sorry to have to tell you this, but I think “common sense” was killed, I think the perpetrator is “politically correct” that have gone mad.

  29. avatar Mohammed Khafi says:

    Ihaknt,

    Thank you for putting it so clearly!

    Common sense, reasoning and understanding are many times mentioned in Al Quran, unfortunately few Mainstream Islamic teachers will tell people this, as they don’t want people to think, they just want people to blindly follow what they say.

    O man), follow not that whereof thou hast no knowledge. Lo! the hearing and the sight and the heart – of each of these it will be asked. 17:36

    “It is He Who brought you forth from the wombs of your mothers when ye knew nothing; and He gave you hearing and sight and intelligence and affections: that ye may give thanks.”. 16:78

    It is He Who has created for you (the faculties of) hearing, sight, feeling and understanding: little thanks it is ye give! 23:78

    —–

    Dimp said:

    True that obeying your husband comes from mutual respect, one question when Aa Gym said that he wants to marry another woman, does this mean that he no longer respect Teh Ninih, and with that he forfeits his demand for his self-respect as well?

    I don’t think any of us can see into somebody else’s heart unless we are married to them or they are our offspring, and even then sometimes we can deceive ourselves, perhaps he still does respect Teh Ninih in some way.

    Regarding his self respect, again who knows apart from Aa Gym himself, it depends totally on his own view of himself.

    He has certainly lost my respect, although I have never been a great fan of his “pop culture style” and his use of religion for capitalist purposes, he did at least project a new dynamism into Islam in this country, he preached religious and family values in a way that the ordinary people could understand and relate to.

    As far as I am concerned he turned that all on its head when he took a second wife, he has clearly taken sources other than Al Quran for guidance and on top of that he has broken the 1974 Marriage Law. Not content with that he has tried to cover his mistakes behind a mask of religion.

  30. avatar Ihaknt says:

    MK said (can i abbreviate your name?)

    Common sense, reasoning and understanding are many times mentioned in Al Quran, unfortunately few Mainstream Islamic teachers will tell people this, as they don’t want people to think, they just want people to blindly follow what they say.

    cant agree with you more…look at taliban. it really saddens me when i read books about how great some Middle Eastern countries used to be. Iran, Iraq, Afghanistan, etc. I could not even believe the fotos. so advanced, so beautiful, but now…just literally war-torn countries. surely, Allah himself DOES NOT like this, nor want this for any of His creatures…
    or could it be He makes them fight with each other because He wants to show the rest of the world that if you take religion (or anything for that matter) too fanatically, and not use any common sense then you just become that…a shell with useless brain and just fight with each other. im not even talking about different religions, just different branches of Islam…

    sigh…people…brain is such a great organ, use it appropriately! if it’s kambing’s brain then eat it…its yummy!

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