Bulwom: Bule Women

Feb 4th, 2010, in Opinion, Society, by

The types of Bulwom in Indonesia, bule women, and how they fare in attracting local men.


Why Do Bule Sistas in Yogya Get More Action Than Sistas in Jakarta?

The Friend,

I ever hear the Bule woman in Jakarta complaining about a date. Cannot get, cannot get she says. As a student of Achmad Sudarsono's techniques of Seksiness, I let the Bule Woman's (Bulwom) lamentations just pass by, like one of those silly human rights reports criticising our national heroes.

Guruh SoekarnoputraBut Friend, just like the question of what colour exactly is Guruh Soekarnoputra's hair, there is a mystery and conundrums.

Why does the student Bulwom in Yogya and Bali get more traffic than Jl. Thamrin at sunset when the Bulwom in Jakarta goes without lovin', or as we Betawis say, 'jablai' (jarang dibelai or rarely touched)?

Bulwom YogyaThe Bulwom comes from countries like Australia, America or Belanda, to schools and university in Yogyakarta to study the gamelan or write thesis about things no one is interested in like, 'Jamu and Gender: Post-Modern Discourse of the Indonesian Mushroom Drink.' (Lazy but Seksi Friends, can find a post-modern essay generator here. http://www.elsewhere.org/pomo/). Then the Bulwom teaches generation of other students to write things no one is interested in.

But, Astaga and Aduhai ! Bulwom gets more action - if it is possible - than Achmad Sudarsono after an unplugged Ukulele session at Jl. Blora.

Samantha FoxAmidst the long-haired self stroking bohemians of the Art School, Bulwom is bigger than Samantha Fox (so to speak). Bulwom chills into the rythym of Yogya, riding on the back of the motorbike, basking in the adoration and envy of the other long-haired would-be painters and art-stars.

Bulwom YogyaShe casts scornful glances at other suitors, knowing her desirability. Inevitably, though, most Bulwom abandon their local beau, when the question of marriage comes up. He turns into a brooding, psychotic stalker, not having been exposed to the Seksiness lessons of Pendekar/Guru Achmad. (Pak Achmad is said to be preparing a series of e-lessons, on how to be Seksi (tm)).

Kuta CowboyThe Bali Bulwom is a bit of a different story. Whilst I salute the resourcefulness of the Kuta Cowboys, going from amateur to pro is a big step, perhaps one for Guru Achmad to cover in the future.

Why then does the Jakarta Bulwom not swim in the local pond, like a mutated Ikan mas (gold fish) in the Ciliwung river ? As a humble Betawi bongo player, I am bemused. Bulwom Jakarte is often stressed and cranky, the seductive secrets of our kampungs eluding her as she sits in an air-conditioned fortress. betawi Does she know of the Ondel-Ondel ? Yet she is always complain, complain, complain.

But Bulwom, there are tens of thousands of able-bodied descendants of Si Pitong and other Betawi heroes ready to tend to your needs. Why don't you follow your Yogya sisters who take the lesehan (sit down outdoor cafe) and sup on local fare ?


80 Comments on “Bulwom: Bule Women”

  1. avatar Burung Koel says:

    I think I need a lie down.

  2. avatar deta says:

    Aduhai mas Jengkol, can you kindly tell Achmad for me, that this story about bull worm is very seksi

  3. avatar Dikkiman Sujengkol says:

    Astaga and Aduhai !

    Ibu Deta Yth.,

    Guru Achmad is taking a sabbaticals stuyding Sufi spinning dance in the desert somewhere.

    I will send him a pigeon for you !!

    Aduhai ! Aduh SEKSInya !

  4. avatar bs says:

    Fren Dikkiman,

    What a great article!
    I will promptly go out and urge all bulwom to visit Jakarta.

  5. avatar lcvs says:

    haha what a crazyness,

    i date bulwomen for all my life now in europe, but in indonesia i find myself only dating indonesian born and raised girls or very sweet indo-chicks who have been raised in belanda and are on a tourist trip visiting the country of their grandparents who fled during the bersiap period. although for me in europe it’s no problem to date and make love with bulwomen, on bali i just couldn’t get my hands on australian surf gals or german stewardesses. i guess if they all were in search of the exotic experience they wanted the ‘asli’ version of an ‘indonesian’ man or either just another bule to have fun with under the palmtrees. quite strange experience for me, since it is again not hard for me to date white girls. at one time on gili trawangan there was this bule british girl who seemed very interested in indonesian men, but in my case, when she found out i was raised an educated in europe, i was not of any interest to her anymore. well, if i’m honest, actually on the other hand there was this one french blonde stewardess on gili and when she found out i had a dutch passport and could speak french, she was very willing to shiver my javanese palmtree.

  6. avatar Dikkiman Sujengkol says:

    Very Nice Palmtree Imagery, Icvs !!! Astaga ! Aduhai !!!

    Do tell more !!!

  7. avatar Dikkiman Sujengkol says:

    Oh- and perhaps you could share with the brothers where these European Aphrodities congregate ??

  8. avatar David says:

    Maybe most expat women in Jakarta are married, except the English teachers. Speaking of the latter there were two I knew once who I’d rate as 5’s looks wise and they were out once and one got groped by a dirty old man. The one who hadn’t been groped said she wanted to call out to the groper “Pick me! Pick me!”. She often complained of no action on the romancing front and she was once seen cornering some young guy who looked very uncomfortable about the whole thing.

    This post got a lot of facebook traffic incidentally, I tracked one referral back to this lady’s page – [link removed]…. I’m guessing she wasn’t amused.

  9. avatar Dikkiman Sujengkol says:

    But no comment ?

  10. avatar diego says:

    In balinese there’s a color called brumbun. I guess it’s quite close to the color of GSP’s hair.

  11. avatar Odinius says:

    A lot of bules who go to Jogja are looking for a “cultural experience.” This usually involves a local paramour, whether of the male or female persuasion.

  12. avatar Dikkiman Sujengkol says:

    Mr. Patung,

    Does IM benefit from FB traffics ?

  13. avatar perseus says:

    Bulwom gets more action – if it is possible – than Achmad Sudarsono after an unplugged Ukulele session at Jl. Blora.

    This article has no credibility. How can any mortal get more action that the Virile Achmad? It is unseemly, nay, unthinkable to demean the prestige of Ukelele players with such slurs…

  14. avatar David says:

    Dikki, I guess, depends how you’re measuring things. Fb traffic is better than say google traffic because it often comes from your friends recommending a link to you, so there’s the social approval/group think thing which is so important…

  15. avatar justme says:

    You, obviously have no idea what you are talking about. There are plenty of BulWom in Jakarta that prefer Indonesian Men to those idiotic bule men who hang out at jalan jaksa and the like.

    However I will say that not all bule men over here in Jkt are idiots, but 90 percent of them are. Drunken fools who have nothing better to do than lie and cheat to their wives/girlfriends and get pissed every weekend. Again there are the good ones, but they are very few and far between. And no I’ve never had a relationship with Jakarta bule, because well I’m just not interested and why would you be? If they are english teachers, they probably don’t earn much. And as for the expat bigwigs, they probably go for the local ayam anyway.

    I am married to an Indonesian man and have been happily for 6 years. We live in Jakarta. We met in Jakarta. And I can tell you about another 10 couples that have done the same.

    How about you do a little more research next time???

  16. avatar madrotter says:

    tell ’em just me, tell ’em!!!

  17. avatar bs says:

    Dikkiman, they’re biting today. Go for it!

    @madrotter
    I don’t know where you get those images from, but they sure are inspiring 😉

  18. avatar Burung Koel says:

    If they are english teachers, they probably don’t earn much ARE GAY.

    Fixed that for you.

  19. avatar justme says:

    @ Burung Koel hahahaha!

    Well, you know you could be right. My workmates spend Mondays talking about how many girls they got to bring home. Probably all made up. (We are not teachers)

    Not that there’s anything wrong with that – being gay (seinfeld quote).

    I have a question! Why do all bule men married or single always go for the AYAM that look kampungan or look like maids?? Perhaps the prettier girls know what’s better for them?

    Us bule women and well Indonesian women for that matter comment, omg why is that guy who’s OK looking, and probably a nice guy, doing with some local lady who looks like that! But then again maybe they met at Taman Lawang.

  20. avatar Dikkiman Sujengkol says:

    @ Justme.

    Thank you for the comments and congratulations on savoring the succulent Seksiness of Melayu manhood. Astaga and Aduhai !

    But Ibu Justme Yth., I ever heard many Bulwom complain and complain. I think many heard it. Perhaps your radiant glow (Va Va Voom! as Achmad would say), will help persuade the Bulwom Jakarte as to what they are missings.

    I got an idea also to write about Bulbar (Bule Baru), Bulbas (Bule Basi), and Buljor (Bule Jorok).

    Maybe I should also write about Why Bule Like Pembantu – depends if IM peoples want it. We have many comment on why Bule Man go for pembantu look – buck teeth, black like Obama etc. But remember, even for accomplished Casava Casanovas like myself – variety is the spice of life ! Sometimes it’s good to sup on kampung fare.

  21. avatar David says:

    Maybe I should also write about Why Bule Like Pembantu – depends if IM peoples want it.

    Go for it (I still remember the Unspun and that person with a Vietnamese sounding name but I think he was American, controversy over this)

    If they are english teachers, they probably don’t earn much ARE GAY.

    Fixed that for you.

    There’s another topic.

  22. avatar Zorobabel says:

    buck teeth, black like Obama etc.

    Is that kind of blatant racism even allowed on this site? People are unattractive because they have dark skin? Yeah, you’re really clever, buddy.

  23. avatar Dikkiman Sujengkol says:

    Halo Mr. Zorobabel,

    I think beauty is relative, and I just want to talk about the taste of the Bule. I don’t think I can be racist because I am Indonesian and I ever receive Pancasila training.

  24. avatar ET says:

    Why do all bule men married or single always go for the AYAM that look kampungan or look like maids??

    Do I smell jealousy here?

  25. avatar deta says:

    No, ET, it’s not jealousy you’re smelling. It’s Dikkiman Sujengkol

  26. avatar ET says:

    It’s Dikkiman Sujengkol

    O, I didn’t know that jengkol had a smelly side-effect besides causing excessive leakage.

    Thanks for expanding my knowledge.

  27. avatar Nay says:

    People are attracted to different types of physical attributes mainly because it’s different. There is no defining standard on beauty.

    If I’m not mistaken, I think the attraction has been pinned down scientifically to the evolutionary desire to evolve with different DNA and attributes, or something like that. Best way of doing that is by mating with people of completely different genetic makeup.

  28. avatar Burung Koel says:

    Best way of doing that is by mating with people of completely different genetic makeup.

    That explains a lot of my Saturday nights.

  29. avatar Oigal says:

    Why do all bule men married or single always go for the AYAM that look kampungan or look like maids??

    Do I smell jealousy here?

    Laugh..smell it…fairly reeks of it and highly amusing at that.

    I am still waiting to find out what exactly does

    that look kampungan or look like maids

    mean.

  30. avatar Dikkiman Sujengkol says:

    Halo Mr. Oigal,

    I think kampungan is gigi tonggos (buck teeth), or dark or short. We call it ‘maid-face,’ or ‘Idabul’ (Idaman Bule), or even Selerbul (selera bule). Maybe Bule like it because it is something he cannot get in his own country ? I will soon write about Bules and Pembantus, but I think live and let live. If the Bule likes the tonggos, high forehead, from the village, why not ? Is income redistribution, ‘kan ?

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