Mojopahit Empire

Oct 13th, 2007, in Opinion, by

Achmad envisages a new Mojopahit Empire with Australia as vassal state.

Achmad Sudarsono

New columnist Achmad Sudarsono sees Australia destined for client state status under a revived Mojopahit Empire.

Australia's defeat in the Rugby World Cup at the hands of Britain on October 6th was more than a humiliation. It was a sign of a culture that is failing on every level and won't admit it.

Achmad has long argued that dress-wearing and playing with Dollies, long trademarks of the Aussie Rugby team, is no way to train. But Australia's pathetic defeat was no accident.

219 years after its founding, Australia has fallen off the map and into stagnation. The October 6th defeat, brought on by laziness, beer, meat pies and chips, is just another landmark on the journey to Australia's final destination: vassal status in a revived Mojopahit empire (see map).

Australian backpackers and expats (real ex-pats, not the derelict Blok M'ers we have here), live in denial, desperately clutching at the Sydney Olympics, and Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardis Gras to prove how cosmopolitan they are. They doth protest too much. Australia elected John Howard in 1996, not the fish and chip shop Nazi Pauline Hanson, but they run the same campaign - stick the wogs in a concentration camp, close the borders, flip on Blue Heelers and Home and Away.

At home, Aussies proudly point to their booming economy. What's there to be proud of in ripping coal, bauxite, tin, LNG, and wheat out of the ground and flogging them to Asia? Up here, of course, the economies genuinely are built on innovation, thrift and hard work. 219 years on from when Australia started as a quarry and a farm, nothing's changed. Only the masters have. First it was British, then the Americans. Soon it'll be China and India. Get that rickshaw ready, Aussie, I'll be taking a ride, boy.

Indeed, the Asians are taking over the few bastions of thinking left in Aussie. Stroll through any half-decent science or technology faculty at an Aussie Uni. It's all Choudrys and Chongs. Chances are any of pair round eyes you'll see'll be staring out from a brown skin.

Meanwhile, Asia is thriving. Indonesia, like China and India, is a slowly waking dragon that once roused, is unstoppable. Of course, it's true - Aussie has things we need; coal, tin, chalk, real-estate. But unlike our European "friends", we realize outright colonisation isn't an morally acceptable.

Instead, Australia will become just another mendicant, begging (on its knees) for favours from a new Mojopahit federation, gradually coalescing in the North. If Australia can't even win a Rugby game, how can it resist the rise of Asia? After all, Rugby is really a contest of which team has the thickest skulls and fewest brain cells. (It has none of the subtleties of sepak takraw or badminton). International affairs is infinitely more subtle and complex, qualities we Javanese excel at. No wonder Indonesia was never a big Rugby nation.

The message is simple: Move over Aussie, the Indon man's time is here.


141 Comments on “Mojopahit Empire”

  1. avatar Janma says:

    Move over Aussie, the Indon man’s time is here.

    “where shall we F%@k off to Oh Lord?”

  2. avatar Pakmantri says:

    What the f@#$ is going on here ……………. ??

    Oh, here come Sabdapalon from Serat Darmogandul going to save the world ……. :-)).

    Be careful there Mr. Sudarsono on what you wish for, Sabdopalon (Mojopahit) might wipe Islam from tanah Jawi. 😉

  3. avatar Achmad Sudarsono says:

    Janma,

    As English is my second language, I don’t really know what obscure words like “F%@k” mean, so I can’t tell you where to “F%@k off to.” But I do call on you to address the main arguments in the piece and to not take cheap shots…

    Pakmantri,

    I don’t really know what Sabdopalon is, but Mojopahit is a Java-based civilization; Java is wise, Islam is wise, so there’s no clash.

    I thank you, Friend.

  4. avatar dewaratugedeanom says:

    Pakmantri said

    Be careful there Mr. Sudarsono on what you wish for, Sabdopalon (Mojopahit) might wipe Islam from tanah Jawi.

    No, no. Majapahit always had set its mind on going East. Bali first, then Lombok, Sumbawa… And why not Papua? Lots of goodies over there. :-;

  5. avatar Janma says:

    Well achmad, I like the brown eyes of Australia, so bring it on sir!
    Maybe they will save australia from becoming a nuclear waste dump in the name of commerce and progress.

    And I love you’re little pic up there”¦. but I’m sure I’ve seen that fellow before, selling bakso.

    From banyumas maybe?

  6. avatar Hassan says:

    Janma:

    And I love you’re little pic up there”¦. but I’m sure I’ve seen that fellow before, selling bakso.

    Actually, I think that’s the picture of Sumanto, the notorious grave digging flesh eater from Purbalingga.

    http://www.kompas.com/ver1/Hiburan/0609/08/041807.htm

    To me the choice of pic shows an uncharacteristic bad taste from Mr. Ono.

  7. avatar Andrew says:

    :)) “Fotonye ga ade matinye” is all I can say about Sumanto’s pic.

  8. avatar Janma says:

    http://www.suaramerdeka.com/harian/0507/02/ban08.htm

    To me the choice of pic shows an uncharacteristic bad taste from Mr. Ono.

    Now you see, I wouldn’t use the word uncharacteristic concerning Mr. Ono… bad taste is his forte!

  9. avatar Hassan says:

    Now you see, I wouldn’t use the word uncharacteristic concerning Mr. Ono”¦ bad taste is his forte!

    Oops, my mistake. Friends, let it be known that Mr. Ono’s forte is bad taste. Ya amigos?

    Sava da Flava
    Increase da Peace

    PS. The link you gave is hilarious. LMAO. Made me think, is the guy in the article is the one and the same with our Mr. Ono? Or did our Mr. Ono stole that name from the pervert (the same way he ‘stole’ Sumanto’s pic)? Any which way, it sure made him look bad.

  10. avatar Achmad Sudarsono says:

    All my friend,

    All this talk of Sumanto, Purbalingga and grave diggers is really just a tactic to avoid the main question of Australia’s eminent demise.

    I love how you all think my apparent similarity with a Cannibal invalidates my argument…

    Increase Da Peace…
    Sava da Flava..

  11. avatar Janma says:

    Well if it’s a tactic sweetheart, it wasn’t our tactic, it was yours.

    Maybe you are not from Purbalingga or Banyumas, but are a Batak ya? BAnyakTAKtik.

  12. avatar Pakmantri says:

    Mr. Sudarsono,
    You don’t know Sabdopalon & Nayagenggong from serat Darmogandul? And you called yourself an expert on Javanese culture? Shame on you! 🙁

    Dewaratugedeanom,

    With you, bro ……. 🙂

    Peace.

  13. avatar Achmad Sudarsono says:

    Pakmantri,

    Please enlighten us. I am but a humble ukele player, poet, pencak silat master, and writer. There’s always more I can learn about history and culture.

  14. avatar Janma says:

    He is sort of like Java’s Jesus…..

  15. avatar Achmad Sudarsono says:

    Also, whilst it’s true there may be a passing resemblance with Mr. Sumanto, there’s one difference: I, Achmad Sudarsono, dig up The Truth, not graves.

  16. avatar Pakmantri says:

    Sorry kang Ono, I grew up in Serang, Banten …………… 🙂

  17. avatar Janma says:

    Well mr ononi, the truth is that the australian rugby teams success or lack thereof is hardly a barometer of the australian political climate, you know that. It is funny to make the connection, but not factual. That’s why no one will take you seriously. But then, you knew that didn’t you!?

  18. avatar Achmad Sudarsono says:

    On the contrary, Rugby’s a deep expression of Australian culture. In turn, culture’s linked to politics. The Aussie insistence on making daisy chains and embroidering hankies instead of doing hard training is the same reason the country will become, as Paul Keating said, “the poor white trash of Asia.”

  19. avatar iamisaid says:

    “the australian rugby teams success or lack thereof is hardly a barometer of the australian political climate”
    (Janma)

    Hello A.Sudarsono

    I am in full agreement with Janma comment.

    You say : “But Australia’s pathetic defeat was no accident.”

    Although Aussies lost but the final score was impressive. Merely 2 points separated the Aussies and the British. Unless of course you wish to add that it is all about winning, so what does it matter how much separates between the winning and the losing team.

    You say: “219 years after its founding, Australia has fallen off the map and into stagnation.”

    Put aside your bias goggles. Australia has progressed from strength to strength.

    You say : “Stroll through any half-decent science or technology faculty at an Aussie Uni. It’s all Choudrys and Chongs.”

    Yes, exactly and why so?. Half decent goes with the tutelage fees. The Choudrys and Chongs can afford just that.

    You say : “But unlike our European “friends”, we realize outright colonisation isn’t an morally acceptable.”

    Aussies are Europeans? Since when?
    Have you considered that outright colonisation has evolved into a pervasise, sinister and subtle form of economic colonisation?

    You say : “Australia will become just another mendicant, begging (on its knees) for favours from a new Mojopahit federation, gradually coalescing in the North. If Australia can’t even win a Rugby game, how can it resist the rise of Asia?”
    Dream on A.Sudarsono.

    You say : “I am but a humble ukele player, poet, pencak silat master, and writer.”

    Why be pretentious? Your entire commentary does not portray you as being a humble whatever it is you describe yourself.

    Throughout your commentary, it is apparent that you harbour antipathy towards Australia. Even if it means that you have to refer to a nondescript Rugby loss in order to feed your invective. Much of your commentary is a collection of disjointed and highly refutable ramblings.

  20. avatar Oigal says:

    Now Now don’t be too mean to Assmad (not take her seriously) she is just a little NGO parasite with too much time and too little brains. Still you can do that when you have spent your whole life slurping from the public funds trough!

  21. avatar Achmad Sudarsono says:

    Dear iamisaid,

    What this comes down to is that you just don’t like hearing the truth from a brown man.

    Your response is typical of the denial that pervades Australia, a country it’s own Prime Minister (Paul Keating) once described as the “arse end of the world.” Keating, an admirer of Soeharto, was a rare thing, a white Australian with vision. He also foresaw Australia becoming the “poor white trash of Asia,” and “a Banana Republic.”

    I don’t we should let a few facts here and there get in the way of the discussion. Some of Australia’s “successes”:

    * Alan Bond (failed Australian entrepreneur)
    * Christopher Skase (failed Australian entrepreneur).
    * The White Australia policy.

    Oigal,

    Once again, let’s not get personal. I’m not sure how we got off on the wrong foot- all I did was launch a series of fictitious allegations about you slurping up stale beer from a Blok M bar. Nothing to get offended about.

    All,

    For a long time now, Oigal has been jealous of the raw power of my prose. My deceptively-simple style shows a deep mastery of understatement the likes of Oigal just can’t grasp. Indeed, if it doesn’t have a handle (like a beer mug), or isn’t a footy, Oigal has problems grasping anything.

    Increase da peace.

  22. avatar iamisaid says:

    Quote : “you just don’t like hearing the truth from a brown man.”
    (Achmad Sudarsono)

    And may I ask you, what is truth? You do not mean truth as told by you?

    I see that you are a great fan of the Hon. Paul Keating, whom may I add was a person who had a notoreity for an acidic tongue and invective. Hmmm, seem to have rubbed off on you too.

    However, let’s go along with your repeated Keating quotes, namely, “poor white trash of Asia” and “a Banana Republic”.

    By and large, the Australians have risen above themselves to what they are today to be even considered as poor, white or trash.

    Given the fact that it was Paul Keating who aimed to make Australia a Republic. Did he foresee that his republic aim would morph into a banana? Incidentally, he failed.

    Amongst other issues, there is one that should particularly interest you as an Indonesia. It concerns East Timor.

    “Paul Keating received some criticism from Human Rights groups and Nobel Peace Prize winner José Ramos Horta over his friendship with President Suharto, and the Keating government’s policy of aiding the Indonesian military in their occupation of East Timor. East Timor had gained a higher profile in Australia and Internationally after the Dili massacre. Keating was criticised for his close ties with Suharto and the signing of the Timor Gap Treaty over human rights concerns”.
    (source – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_Keating)

  23. avatar Achmad Sudarsono says:

    It’s sometimes worthwile when Ramos Horta can take his eyes off the nearest pair of knockers and hand off the nearest (female) assistant’s ass. In this case it’s not. No one’s been keener to suck up to our government than the East Timorese.

    Horta’s a real sneaky old bandicoot and has played the game well. He knows governing and opposition – in this case playing the gentleman diplomat of a romantic rebellion. (More fun than actually firing guns). Indeed, there are a lot of indignant activists in Australia who feel a bit unused and underappreciated. Not to worry, Indonesia can provide another cause: Papua.

    Just a tip: drop the republic morphing into banana gag. Not everyone can do comedy, sunshine. You should stick to sucking back tinnies at the cricket or footy.

    To restate the argument: Australians are a motley crew of boors and uneducated swill. Such charateristics stem from their criminal past, a subject I will go into in future posts.

  24. avatar iamisaid says:

    Quote,
    “To restate the argument: Australians are a motley crew of boors and uneducated swill. Such charateristics stem from their criminal past, a subject I will go into in future posts.”

    Hello Achmad Sudarsono,

    Initially, I first surmised and mentioned it but it is now evidently clear that indeed you bear a hatred towards the Australians with one exception, your Australian hero, Paul Keating.

    You have a right to what you wish to disdain.

    I must say you have started the first day after Ramadan with such a strong flourish.

    Being a columnist here and English being your second language, perhaps your sort of rambling essays that borders on rascism and calumny becomes your best tool for practising the language.

  25. avatar Janma says:

    I don’t think that Mr ononi is brown or that english is his 2nd language… I think he’s a white australian masquerading…

  26. avatar iamisaid says:

    “I think he’s a white australian masquerading”¦”
    (Janma)

    Crikey! In that case, could he be Paul Achmad Sudarsono Keating?

  27. avatar Achmad Sudarsono says:

    iamisaid,

    Well someone who definitely needs some practice – with English – is you.

    Being a columnist here and English being your second language, perhaps your sort of rambling essays that borders on rascism and calumny becomes your best tool for practising the language.

    What do you mean “borders” on calumny and racism. It’s outright calumny and racism. “Jeez, mate” (as they say in Australia), “get a grip.”

    There are at least two cases where you’ve switched from plural to singular for the same subject in the same sentence. I rest my case about Australians lack of education. It’s a subject the writer Clive James ruminated on when he came back to Australia after years in a civilized country: the United Kingdom.

    It’s always amusing to me that just because I display a mastery of English prose the likes of Oigal can only dream about in his wettest of literary fantasy you assume I must be white.

    Iamisaid, perhaps you can only stomach a relationship with an Indonesian if they’re serving you, as a driver, maid, waitress, or something else. (Oigal’s the real expert on the last “something else”).

    “Helooo meeesteerrrr, you want me to serve you meesssterrr??”

    As mentioned: Achmad Sudarsono is an emerging poet, philosopher, ukelele player, pencak silat master and cabaret singer. I write my columns to serve my country. The Truth, friend, will set you free.

  28. avatar Sputjam says:

    The malay community in the nusantara have achieved very little “feat” of anything, but speak very arrogantly.
    Whites, in particular shun low paying jobs and engineering have the lowest pay in the professional field in the west (including australia).
    There was no such thing as an empire in the malay archipelago. The west created the term to loosely refer to an area under the influence of a one ruler. Majapahit’s area of influence and not empire should be the correct term. Majapahit and other malay sultanates were too poor and disorganised to maintain a large standing army as say the chinese emperors or european kingdoms.
    If one chinaman, can do the work of say 3 malays, one european will use the chinaman to do all the work for him. The malays on the other hand, will try to hinder the chinaman from progress.
    But trust me, Australians and other “whites’ are not lazy bums. They just do things differently, whilst maintaining their efficiency and lifestyle.

  29. avatar Pakmantri says:

    It’s sometimes worthwile when Ramos Horta can take his eyes off the nearest pair of knockers and hand off the nearest (female) assistant’s ass. In this case it’s not. No one’s been keener to suck up to our government than the East Timorese.

    ………. Indeed, there are a lot of indignant activists in Australia who feel a bit unused and underappreciated. …….

    Janma,

    I think you’re right, Mr. Sudarsono is an Australian pretending to be Indonesian.

    Oh well, don’t have to take him seriously now, never was anyway. 🙂

  30. avatar Dragonwall says:

    * Alan Bond (failed Australian entrepreneur)
    * Christopher Skase (failed Australian entrepreneur).
    * The White Australia policy.

    Even if these people there are a failure, it was their own money, not corrupt money or government’s money.
    I find it hard to believe that such were examples that you could think of, but how about:

    *Aburizal Bakrie – Failed Indonesian entrepreneur and the list could go longer than the Great Wall of China. Moreover they uses government’s money and perhaps who knows much of that were money corrupted. (If you read about the sudden purge in his personal assets while in office you will know.)

    It’s always amusing to me that just because I display a mastery of English prose the likes of Oigal can only dream about in his wettest of literary fantasy you assume I must be white.

    Your tense aren’t that good either. I can see self praise here.. Nature..

    .

    This really shows how ignorant you are. Being able to write some essay will not change the world and the fact is that Indonesia will never come close to Australia at all. At least not in the next 100 years. So face it. Your Banana Republic is where you are standing right now.

    And I love you’re little pic up there”¦. but I’m sure I’ve seen that fellow before, selling bakso. From banyumas maybe

    Well I could more or less agree with this. Because they all look alike.

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