Charismatic Muslim preacher Abdullah “Aa Gym” Gymnastiar has taken a second wife.
Abdullah Gymnastiar, commonly referred to as Aa Gym, a hugely popular preacher and holy man, has shocked the nation, particularly its women, by choosing to exercise his right to take more than one wife. Not satisfied with long-term spouse Teteh Nini Gym three months ago married a former model from Bandung, Alfarini Eridani, or Rini, 37 years old, who is divorced with one three children and currently works at the sharia banking section of Bank Panin in Bandung. poskota
Abdullah “Aa Gym” Gymnastiar.
Gym, the head of the Darud Tauhid Islamic boarding school, and an often seen presence on television screens, explains that polygamy is a legitimate practice within Islam, sanctioned by God himself, but it’s not for every Tom, Dick, and Harry:
Polygamy is clearly allowed by God, but it is not recommended. Polygamy can be done in certain ways as an emergency exit.
(Poligami ini jelas hal yang dibolehkan oleh Allah, tapi tidak dianjurkan. Poligami dibolehkan dengan cara-cara tertentu sebagai emergency exit.)
It is not clear what exactly is the situation from which Gym is seeking an emergency exit.
Gym admits that his decision has upset a lot of people, especially women. He says that the two injunctions which his legion of followers most often convey to him are, from men: don’t get involved in politics; and from women: don’t have more than one wife. He says he has already discussed political issues, like the RUU Pornografi debate, because pornography is something which damages the nation, he feels bound to discuss it.
For polygamy he says that many people in Indonesia regard it as an always negative thing. Most women are not able to accept the matter, it hurts them, he says, but there is a small group of women who can. Those who criticise polygamy, he says, should remember that it is God’s law. mediaindo
I pity the children’s feelings whenever poligamy happens. Teteh should ask for a divorce to defend her honour & protect her children, not to support him like a coward. Without him Teteh cannot survive is it? ALLAH is always there to protect those who seek protection from HIM. Don’t be a slave to a ‘ SEXUAL PREDATOR’.
I understand, a lot of the people who have send their comments right here were women, isn’t it ? One thing you should try to do in your life is TO THINK BY YOUR LOGIC RATHER THAN BY YOUR EMOTION.
Please answer my this question: How all of you women can consistently solve the problem of un-ability of a married female in responding his legal husband’s call for a sexual activity ? (pls. think about women’s menstruation period – a week in common -; post delivering the baby born – 40 days ‘nifas’ – , menopouse term, etc.) Will you let them to find ‘his solution’ illegally out there ?
Or, will you just give him some money ‘to buy’ somegirl; the same thing with what happen in Western Culture (with monogamy) hypocrite life?
Beside that, there will be significant cases that some female are ‘designed by God’ not fertile or could have permanent problems with their reproduction organs.
Sorry, if you are not get married yet, you are not authorized to answer the question.
So, we are not just talking about Aa Gym … … … &this is the Syaria of Islam.
I appreciate what u have done AA….
What u have done is HALAL and HALAL.
We all love u AA & Teh Ninih…
CONGRATULATION for your second wedding….
What u have done IS NOT LIKE ADULTERY such as The Hollywood Stars done…
or unfair relationship like an Indonesian activist anti-polygamy done….
Once again.. congratulation AA….
John Bernard
It would be hard to be fair in our life. Even though that you’ve said it is examination.
Who can knows your first wife feeling. Maybe from her face we can see that she is ok but we don’t know how’s exactly her feeling inside. AA please be wise. Tell us what is the reason behind this. You’re always say that we should be grateful to all of that we have got. From my point of view it’s look like you want to have some more in your current life.
Hello…
If one is not sure of being able to deal justly with them, the Qur’an says: “then (marry) only one.” (Qur’an 4:3)
The other verse plainly states: “You are never able to be fair and just between women even if it is your ardent desire”¦” (Qur’an 4:129)
Those 2 forementioned verses clearly indicate that polygamy is not a norm. Most people, like AA would not even look into Qur’an for justfying their hormon desire, but rather simply say that they are following the “sunnah”.
Look at these facts:
1. The Rasul had monogamous marriage for 25 years (hello…have we heard this from any ulamas?)
2. All women He took have had “political purpose” to do so in order for him to expand the ruling of Islam. To mention a few : Aisyah was the daughter of his best companion; Maria was Koptic Christian from Egypt; another was a Jew.
Lesson learned: be cautious about each an every celebrity preacher…
Well..
That is one example of a PERSON who is (become popular) good famous preacher that may tend easily trapped into mental psychological cage which (as a preacher) is stated
“Follow what I am saying (..but do not follow what I am doing..)”
IMO there is thin lines which is separated ‘nasihat’ state into ‘ujub’ state…
some people just go accross this line (many time), unconsciously, and then grab Quran next to him/her as their defense (authority) mechanism to justify he/she is do the correct things,
May God be always protect each of us from this silly mistakes…
He has just breakin’ most of the heart of his admirer (Moslem or not Moslem), including his santri
Thank God, I never been become his admirer…
Thank God, God show us the true identity / reality of Aa Gym..
May God protect us from too admiring others than Himself..
In my humble opinion, it is very not ethical for being an ustadz/ustadzah (preacher) as a job or highway to heavenly state (..becoming famous wealthy celebrities..)
To Abd. Kareem :
============================================
Thank God, I am married person with 2 childs,
Look at yourself brother, use ur LOGIC this time
Your statement feels that said LOGIC is always better than EMOTIONS
Do you know why God gave both male and female both LOGIC and EMOTION (proportionally more LOGICAL than EMOTIONS for men and vice versa for female)
Ask yourself WHY GOD CREATE MALE and FEMALE DIFFERENTLY in the LOGIC and EMOTION proportions
God give male and female different proportion of L and E so that THEY CAN MATCH and fulfil each of their weaknes in some kind of bond named MARRIAGE..
==================================================
Regarding SYARIAH”¦ use your LOGIC again,
SYARIAH is no different than a SHARP SWORD or KNIFE
it ALWAYS depend on the hand who use them”¦
For A COOK it can be useful for preparing some GOOD MEALS
For a SURGEON it would act as a SURGERY device to release your pain
For some BAD GUYS its a proper weapon for KILLING and THREAT OTHER PEOPLE for THE MONEY”¦
Again, It depends on the one who use them.. so if you ever been attacked by some bad guys using KNIFE
.. then dont judge that a cook which come to you with big hell wide sharp shining MEAT KNIFE will gonna kill you or slice your throat”¦ he may be just ask you what kind of food you would it for lunch time”¦
Again, SYARIAH is depend on the one hands who use it (as analogy to KNIFE),
Thank God, God give you LOGIC and EMOTION so you can decide whether it used as WEAPON to attack you or part of COOKING TOOLS”¦.
================================================
As for AA Gym,
dont us SYARIAH as your defense..
Are you GOD ALMIGHTY that can read what is really happen in AA Gym heart”¦
Brother, no one INCLUDING YOU (except GOD ALMIGHTY) WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND what really is in his heart,
TELL ME..
we just watch what is he doing “¦ and then listen what he is saying about what is he doing”¦
just my 2 cents..
look, aa is a brave man”¦gentle”¦..he takes both responsibilities”¦”¦.
women are always complaining about poligamy”¦but they never complaint on husband who have illegal sex”¦”¦mesum”¦.look what happen to yahya zaini”¦.
compare the two”¦which one you like”¦.? dou like to have status like Maria Eva???
she will be dumped somewhere some place….man will never have responsibility to his illegal partner…..
and you should know too…
1/3 if not 2/3 of adult man in jakarta are predicted to have illegal sex”¦.(free sex, kumpul kebo..wanita simpanan, artis bayaran…..all the cafes and diskotik provide this facility…
(ask your husband…is he really so holy?,
be fair in complaining the issue.
those who can only complaint on polygami but let free sex, mesum, zina, lady simpanan to happen ..are really coward”¦bastard!
man is normal to take responsibility,
its not so heroic..
those said ‘brave gentle’ men term are such questionable…
you statement “woman always complain about polygamy” are such reflecting yourself… like a mirror
seems you never understand woman well, and I can feel some anger in your statement, probably some of them (girl ? woman?) have painstakingly breakin your heart before…
still some trauma to understand girl (or woman in your word?)
Then, imagine..
IF ONLY YOUR FATHER HAVING ANOTHER WIFE (NOWN OR UNKOWN BY YOU OR YOUR MOTHER and FAMILY) WIFE,
AND YOUR FATHER LOVE HER AND HER KIDS (YOUR STEP BROTHER AND SISTER) MORE THAN YOUR FATHER DOES TO YOUR FAMILY…
WILL YOU CONGRATULATE YOUR FATHER FOR THAT SUCCESS?
ARE YOU ANGRY OR HAPPY
ASK THIS FORUM, CAN YOU RECALL HAPPINESS CAME FROM HAVING STEP MOTHER AND STEP BROTHER.
Then I firmly believe that you would not easy AGAIN with that ignorance statement “..women are always complaining about poligamy”¦”
I guess you never heard the story about “4 Blind Man and Elephant” and do not catch the moral of that story…
What a pity…
Adb. Kareem you said:
How all of you women can consistently solve the problem of un-ability of a married female in responding his legal husband’s call for a sexual activity ? (pls. think about women’s menstruation period – a week in common -; post delivering the baby born – 40 days ‘nifas’ – , menopouse term, etc.) Will you let them to find ‘his solution’ illegally out there ?
You sound like such a charming man, I imagine your wife feels truely blessed by Allah to have you as a husband.
Are you so incapable of controlling your lust that you are unable to contain yourself for a week whilst your wife is in menses, are you so insensitive to your wifes feelings and the love that you should be showing her and your newborn child that you need sex during her nifas?
What sort of man are you?
You also said:
this is the Syaria of Islam.
And since when does the Sharia of Islam supersede Al Quran?
The provisons in Al Quran for Polygamy are clearly to protect widows and orphans in time of war, not to provide for your devil inspired lust!
To Abd. Karim:
Reading your comment just makes me f*cking mad!!
You are way out of line!
Please don’t talk about logic.Your writing doesn’t reflect a man with a decent reasoning ability.
Well, if sexual desire of a husband must always be met, then based on the factors that you mention (menstruation, post-pregnancy, etc), each man needs at least 4 wives (or perhaps more, to cover the probability that all the wives experiencing menstruation on the same day!).
Or is it possible that the fate of women (but not men) to experience menstruation is a way of God’s to encourage polygamy?
Or…I’m sure Abd. Kareem fully supports this:
What if we make the wives to sign Quality of Service agreement. So if they don’t perform as they should, then we can take them to the court. Is it not a fantastic idea, Mr. Kareem??
You are saying as if women are sex slaves to men. I feel pity for the women in your family.
I’m not surprised if this kind of perception may lead to sexism and racism. Perhaps this perception is not uncommon in Indonesian community, but I hope it will diminish, with time and proper education.
So to all the brothers out there: do what you have to do, if one wife is not enough, then marry a few more. You can do whatever you want, as long as you are not breaking any laws, and PLEASE DON’T SHIELD BEHIND YOUR RELIGION, whatever that is.
Regarding 1/3 and 2/3 or else reagrding Maraia Eva or Mr. YZ…
it reflects on your self too,
If it is a glass cup with water 1/3 of its capacity,
then would you prefer to say ..those glass is 2/3 EMPTY or 1/3 FULL?
if you comparing Mr. YZ and AA Gym case,
while the case are look like identical’
but truth is its 100% diferent case,
Look at this tiny detail…
AA Gym officially said its 1-3 month old 2nd marriage,
and YZ and ME already HAD 5 YEARS RELATIONSHIP (MARRIAGE?? NO, AFFAIRS? YES 99.999% Probably..)
If you thinking that it is need corcern if Maria Eva will be dumped or not,
then its yours pity..
I am surprised AGAIN seems you never yet understand which girl (woman in your terms) is better for become your lifetime wife or just good for fun,
you got to learn a lot more brother..
FYI ..with his track record in HMI and as senior “Yellow Party” politician,
IMO its is very reasonable that Mr. YZ would not stupid enough to marry with ME..
He is using Maria Eva just for good definition of “a Fun Fearless female” only…
So..never admiring a Man/Woman, just admiring Allah. Allah won’t dissapointed us . He just a nice man, he is a man, God’s creature, who have a weakness. And, here is his weakness.
Wats up with u people?????…AA GYM married again & again…..so what???..Are u people simply jealous or by nature u people are those who love to mouth-btyching??…For once can u all let other people be happy regardless of his or her status???….btw it seems that u people always wants things or peoples to follows your way and perceptions only….does it sounds selfish?….better to sell-fish rather than being a selfish!
To all of us,
Picture how your mother (the most important person in our life) would feel if your own father would practice poligamy. Wold you approve your sisters or daughters to have a polygamous situation?
So far,
we give proper word and comment to AA Gym,
I think it is nothing less or more..
would you see my posting above Puspa, I am 100% agree with you,
and I am encourage if there is any way to addressed your question directly to AA Gym himself, wondering what his answer is…
AA Choo.. you are so kidding, thank you..
Well, I have to admit that AA gym is one of the best mass communicators I’ve ever met. He has such a charisma, his charisma can be seen when he is preaching on TV. But his charisma is best seen face to face.
AA Gym has never been my favorite “advisor”, I prefer one who has more knowledge in Shariaah as my favorite “advisor”.
From the first place, I see AA Gym as one of my favorite Entertainers beside Gus Dur and Kang Ibing.
Congratulation on your second marriage AA Gym, and please give my condolences to your first wife and your children.
Well, Mr. AA I don’t have anything idea, what whould be happen with the Moslem people. Their teacher is too fast to take the decision.
to A choo,
If AA Gym is not our leader in dakwah, maybe we would not feel this way.
We give our hope and trust on him, that along with his holy and kind mission, people of indo one day will be better (prosperity in moral & wealth), behave smarter and more educated. My parents suggest any children they know to take him as a role model as he always reminds to take care, love and keep a FAMILY in united. My parents are so proud of him, but now….., they don’t know how to tell us.
To Faireason who compared AA Gym and yahya zaini, I would like to say :
” Go to hell with yahya zaini !!! ”
Disgusting, most of indo people don’t know and don’t wanna know about them (DPR/MPR), they’re not our representatives in government, they get rid of people.
Of course they never try to speech or teach people how to be a good man in this world and in God’s eye, that’s useless and will just make people vomit !
They know their image and people’s opinion about them, but they don’t care because MONEY is the most important thing for them, that’s what they’re aiming for, while they still can.
So it’s a big mistake to compare the 2 of them.
One is popular for his honesty and the other for his greedy !
Btw, just saw in TV, AA said now he loves teteh more than before, u guys know why? We did that when we feel GUILTY right ?
( wonder why he felt quilty as he said he’s done nothing wrong, and it’s sunnah???)
Polygamy is wrong always, just like armed robbery is wrong, it can’t be justified under any circumstance, some say the prophet did it for political reason, that is hogg-wash total rubbish, wrong is never right. some say he waited 25 years before…. and so what then went and married Ayisha at age 6, then went to marry a minimum of 10 women and ofcource the slaves that his right hand possess.
AA is just being a true Muslim, i guess you can expect more Islamic things.
Amazingly, during lunch in my office, my non-Moslem female friends felt very disappointed in Aa Gym’s second marriage. That shows that he is not only a Moslem’s icon but almost all Indonesians!
But have any of you heard of the cases where the first, second, third and the fourth wives can be friends? I’ve known these kind of people and I still don’t understand…what a tolerance…
But as a person who’s not a fan of Aa Gym, I can only smile and say he’s just a human…a person like him must have thought deeply about his decision.
I feel sorry for the wife who obviously has to sacrifice her true feeling. She need s to know that to be happy….you don’t have to be happy under a man’s wing
Dear Aa Gym, Teh Ninih & Rini,
Salaams,
Congratulations from the bottom of my heart along with my dua’as across the sea. May Allah the Most Compassionate, the Most Justice and Oft Forgiving, guide you to do things for the sake of Allah. May Allah protect your intention and be pleased with your patience and sacrifice throughout the difficult times. May He accept your niat and your ikhlas. May Allah give you bigger rewards for the love, peace, justice, joy and contentment you will continue produce from within your two families and beyond. Amin…
Your sister
PS. In the name of Allah the Most Gracious Most Merciful. Allow me to share my thought with all of you. Do you know or hear about a new HBO TV show in the US, “BIG LOVE”? It is set to bring the previously taboo topic of polygamy into the mainstream. It is quiet controversial since most audiences refer to if they say “I do” four times. However, it was not shocking, as “BIG LOVE” will no doubt be for them in the US because it is a very real, and readily excercised option for Muslim men worldwide. According to the discussion, polygamous families in America, mostly in Utah and Arizona, most often live a secret lives. Secrecy is the basic premise of this show, not only because of the fear of social exclusion, but primarily because it is illegal. “BIG LOVE” will bring to the foreground a new definition of marriage – a notion that has undergone several radical transformations in recent times. In theory, polygamous families should fit into the definition of strong family values. Those arguing for polygamy, aside from citing their religious obligation, resort to using failed monogamous marriage as reason to promote polygamy. When infidelity is a major cause of divorce, or the breakdown of the traditional structure for marriage, then why not allow it with marriage? After all, to me, it seems slightly ironic that cheating on your spouse is not illegal, however promising to love, cherish and support a wife (second, third or fourth) is. I would admit to primarily that what is permitted by Allah should exist as to how Rasulullah SAW as a human being has practiced. I believe that there should be a sisterly bond between wives of a healtier relationship with the husband rather than the flip side, grievances dealing with jealousy and a sense of inequality. Just my 2 cents. Salaams…
Teteh Ninih,…I’am sorry to hear that. It’s really bad situation. Prophet Muhammad SAW himself prohibited Ali bin Abu Thalib married other woman after marrying Fatimah Az Zahra, didn’t he?
I admire you, rather than Aa.
1ndra : No, I’m not a Muslim. why ?
Was my question about the reason why Rini divorced related to my religion ? Hmm…
Muslimah,
Just what part of the following do you not understand?
The Verse that allows polygamy “was revealed after the battle of Uhud in which many Muslims were killed, leaving widows and orphans for whom due care was incumbent upon the Muslim survivors.”
The translation of the verse is as follows: “If you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, marry women of your choice, two, or three, or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then (marry) only one”¦” (Qur’an 4:3)
From this verse a number of facts are evident:
That polygamy is neither mandatory, nor encouraged, but merely permitted.
That the permission to practice polygamy is not associated with mere satisfaction. Rather, it is associated with compassion towards widows and orphans in a time of war, a matter that is confirmed by the atmosphere in which the verse was revealed.
That dealing justly with one’s wives is an obligation. This applies to housing, food, clothing, kind treatment”¦etc., for which the husband is fully responsible. If one is not sure of being able to deal justly with them, the Qur’an says: “then (marry) only one.” (Qur’an 4:3)
This verse, when combined with another verse in the same chapter, shows some discouragement of such plural marriages.
The other verse plainly states: “You are never able to be fair and just between women even if it is your ardent desire”¦” (Qur’an 4:129)
As fairness and justice between two wives is a requirement for polygamous marriage and Allah Himself tells you that “you are never able to be fair and just between women even if it is your ardent desire”
Muslimah said:
I would admit to primarily that what is permitted by Allah
From the verses above and given their very clear restrictions and conditions, where does Allah give permission to Aa Gym for this act of treason against his first wife in particular and women in general?
Is Aa Gym in the middle of a war? Is the new wife a war widow? Where are the orphans that Aa Gym is frightened of being able to deal fairly with?
One man, one woman is Allah’s natural way, why did he create us in such balanced numbers otherwise?
You made a very clear point Khafi.. Why those verses never come out before and even until now? Is it because the Muslim leader in Indonesia doesnt want this fact of Koran revealed so that HE can act upon the (intentionally created) value of Muslim perception on polygamy?
I know from 2 years ago that will happend. I just didn’t know when. Better than TTM? Hey man, you bed with her before getting married! What a shame you try to focus public attention on pornographic matters to hide your own behaviour… Munafic loe!
AA gym is just a tipycal Indonesian guy living in Bandung… Boycoot his stupid religious business (sms, books, TV shows) or he will use the money to take a third wife soon…
well just look at it this way.. if you don’t mind your husband/wife had another signifcant one (with an open heart).. be my guest.. good luck and more power to you..
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The non Moslem says:
AA Gym ….. finally you cannot control your hormon but you are hiding behind the Qoran. If you want to follow your God’s rule why you choose Rini. Although she is a widow but she is still have a job. What a stupid excuse! There are many old and poor widow in the street that need a man like you to help them.
Bye bye AA, no one will listen to you anymore.