Expat men in Indonesia and their love affairs with lower class women, opposites attract.
The Friend,
Late one night as my Kampung friends and I were guarding our neighbourhood, the age-old question came up: why does the Bule Man (Bulman), like the Pembantu (maid) face ? We contemplate many such questions as I tap on my Bongo drums and my friends sip their Kratingdaeng, staring out from our little pos jaga (guard post) at the corner of the street under the Jambu tree.
Indeed, it is like Yin and Yang: white (or pink), tall, educated, from the city, versus dark, short, from the village. For me, the Bulman’s taste is his own business; that is how our Indonesian system of Bhinekka Tunggal Ika, or Unity in Diversity works. But many big-haired society Matrons, funky university hipsters, and ordinary Indonesian people alike wonder about the strange attraction of the White Man for his maid.
At our guard post, we try to help the country, so for you, my Indonesia Matters friends, I return to this burning question.
Many writers ever addressed the Bule-Pembantu phenomenon before. The prominent columnist and thinker Thang D. Nguyen ever wrote about Westerners and maids, putting the attraction down to the law of relativity. Mr. Thang defines Pembantu characteristics as,
a dark complexion, buck teeth, and a high forehead typically found among remote mountain villagers in Java
adding that his Indonesian friend finds such features,
not beautiful.
But, Mr. Thang says:
Beauty, like many things in life, is bound by the rule of relativity. In other words, what one man considers beautiful is ugly in the eyes of another.
Elsewhere in the Blogosphere and Chatosphere, Java Jive, and Unspun, and Detik, have all discussed the Yin and Yang syndrome.
The Detik chat is an online version of thoughts going through the minds of many Indonesians as they see a fifty-ish Om-Om, or even a debonair well-dressed Bulman mas mas (young man), with someone who looks like a rejected audition from the 1970s classic film Si Inem Pelayan Seksi (“Inem the Seksi Server”). Si Inem was like an Indonesian Cinderella, or the 1990s Julia Roberts film ‘Pretty Woman’, where the poor girl gets the prince. (Personally I want to see Julia Perez do a Dangdut version of Pretty Woman – Astaga and Aduhai !)
Here are the thoughts of my neighborhood watch group and hang-out friends.
The Bule cannot find it in his own country.
Ever since Bule Belanda (Bulbel) came to the Spice Islands to trade nutmeg, Bule has ever come to my country to find something he doesn’t have. In his country, the woman is tall, White, likes to argue and not follow what he says. She threaten him with divorce and instead of being allowed to perform manly night-guard duties, like us, he must do housework while she watches “Desperate Housewives”. Maybe for Bule with his maid it is different.
Opposites Attract
I ever read that primates seek to make up for shortcomings in their genetic makeup by finding a mate with different DNA characteristics: thus opposites attract. Maybe the maid wants to improve her bloodline (memperbaiki keturunan). Bule subconsciously does likewise. Just like Bhinekka Tunggal Ika teaches us, there is unity in diversity.
Beer Goggles (Alcohol Induced Judgement Lapse)
Friend, we Betawi warriors don’t drink much more than the occasional shot of Arak in our Kratingdaeng, so we are not experts in beer drinking. But for hundreds of years, Bule has soaked himself in gin, rum, or recently beer. In fact, friend according to Mike Dash, author of the history ‘Batavia’s Graveyard‘, there was one tavern for every seven Dutchmen in Batavia in the 1770s. Drunken opponents – as well as Silat – was one reason the Betawi hero Si Pitoeng was so easily able to defeat Tuan Scott (see clip below).
At the popular Bule meeting places like Jl. Felatehan Blok M, Bule crashes into everything – the walls, the Preman, and, yes, the one who looks like Maid. Sometimes true love can blossom and he will marry her. Then the relationship becomes more like one and two above.
A Call For Discussion
Remember, that not all Bule are alike. There are short, tall, and even vagrant and poor – known locally as ‘Bule Jaksa’. In turn, some Bule marry the Cinetron star, big-hair high society matron, or local aristocrat, be it from Bali or Java or whereever. Friend, that is the beauty of Bhinekka Tunggal Ika.
There are many mystery in Indonesia. Why wasn’t a single member of Dono, Kasino Indro given a cabinet post ? Does Wiranto, Hanura chairman and retired general, wear a toupe ? Why is Ulfa so annoying ?
Friend, our late-night guard post Bongo session was an open discussion. I now call on You, Indonesia Matters reader to share your own insights and thoughts on the Yin-Yang phenomena.
@ ET: Lol…Well, my dear ET you dont know me, so you can say whatever you want or you can suspect me…this is free country. The only thing that matters that I know myself best. Alrite mate 🙂
I dont care sheilas do or dont do bules or only do kuta cowboys…maybe they like it. But to be honest.
@ ET: To be honest, i dont hang out with sheilas, i dont hang out with AYAMS in Bali, i hang out with the jakarta people.
Let categories kind bule we have here in Indonesia:
Loser: lose everything in their origin country (wife, kids, jobs, money) AKA pensionados. (they came to Indonesia and found “cheap girls, cheap food, cheap beer. its mean lots f*ck, getting fat, and drunker) what else they can expected??? they find heaven and want stay here forever!!!!!! REFF; STAY AWAY FROM THEM, UNLESS YOU GET BENEFIT FROM ITS, MEAN YOU ARE AYAM’S, OR OWN RESTO WITH WESTERN GUEST AND MENU OR YOU ARE OWN BAR AND GRILL/GIRLS PLACE.
Explorer: Come to Indonesia and found the diversity and the beautifuly culture, and falling in love with all about Indo including the girl/women. REFF: BE FRIEND WITH THEM!!!
Worker: Come to Indo, work as profesional, find nice or profesional Indo women, having agreement for some money they have paid and f*ck they can get. But still their main salary go to their own country and their own wife. REFF: STEAL THEIR BRAIN!!!!
But the main things is, they all are found that Indonesia is heaven!!! so dont let them steal our heaven..
Viva Indonesia!!!!!
@ ET: Dude….Bule jakarta is bule jakarta…who lives in jakarta, so Bule is still bule. Beda with orang jakarta. Read dictionary more often ya. lol my f***king ass off.
@FonnyDiva:
What’s so interesting from this topic other than sarcastic words from the author and those who respond here.
There’s nothing new. It’s all about superiority in cheap relationship that bules can get so easily here in Indonesia.
Many other local women also look short, dark skinned with buck teeth. But you can tell from their faces whether they’re cultured women or not (udik like pembantus or ayams). You can see from dandanan, taste and stuff…
Oigal,
That’s not what I mean with “culture”. I’m not saying they don’t have a particular “culture”.
English is not my 1st language anyway, but I think I write it correctly.
define:cultured —> civilized: marked by refinement in taste and manners; “cultivated speech”; “cultured Bostonians”; “cultured tastes”; “a genteel old lady”; “polite …
And how can you tell I’m complaining about superiority? Not at all.
>are you also skilled in the ancient science of frenology, where you can determine if someone is a criminal or liar from the shape of his or her head? That would be very helpful in Indonesia, with all those jilbabs revealing the real shapes of heads …<
According to Javanese Primbon yes here below:
http://aidielzaini.blogspot.com/2009/07/rahsia-sifat-wanita-menurut-primbon.html
But sorry it is on bahasa, my experience , the accuracy is almost 90%
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@ ET: No worries mate. Are the bule karatan a.k.a bule rusty? anyways, as i said that i dont date or do with bule karatan who lives in Bali or Jakarta. I dont date or do bule who is contaminated with AYAMS (so sorry for the AYAMS and The Bule).
I wrote “Bule Bali” meaning Fresh Bule who come to Bali for the freaking first time not the bule who lives in Bali for the rest of their freaking life. Not gonna happening cuz i dont want no drama with the bitches, as you know everybody knows everybody in Bali and I want it private.
🙂
Cheers mate…..