Dating Indonesian Girls
Apr 4th, 2006, in Society, by PatungDating Indonesian women may not be for everyone.
Indonesian women, particularly on the island of Java, are exceptionally beautiful. They tend towards the very feminine side, with lovely skin, are not too tall, and have knock-out smiles. There’s plenty of plus on that side of things.
If wer’e to be honest we have to recognise that many men are interested in a woman who will take care of him, do the housework without complaint, and take care of other matters similarly without much bother. Your average Indonesian girl often fits the bill in this respect, certainly more than your average western woman, the less said about them the better.
On the other hand going out with Indonesian women in a romantic way can have many mysterious pitfalls.
Some women here are clearly only interested in money. Some men are unbothered by this. Others of the female variety, can, once we get to know them very well, come across as practically insane, hysterically emotional, scheming, over-possessive, inclined to, usually fake, attempts at self-harm in order to get their way. As I said, not for the faint-hearted.
There are a few Indonesia dating websites although the area is not nearly as developed as that in nearby Phillipines or Thailand. To begin your online journey on the Indonesian dating scene our very own “Meet” section has many a lady eager for company.
4,898 Comments on “Dating Indonesian Girls”
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anna says:
Hi Dimp
Yup, that is true, now and then maybe we can find good quality Indonesian either man or woman, but sometimes I still having problem to trust them, with the last experience I had.
I have a lot of Indonesian friends but I got view of them that I can trust.
They say keep your friend close but keep your enemy closer.
I really love Indonesia they have very special culture, and scenes, and it seem so original, no fake or something.But when we really look closer, specially the people, it is sad.
Why such a beautiful country like Indonesia can destroy by they own people?. It’s really a shame.
You seem nice gentlemen. I hope you can make Indonesia better, for everyone, and for the country it self. -
Dimp says:
Hi Anna,
I am actually a very sceptical person, when someone who hasn’t gained my trust is nice to me, then I will be questiong his/her motive. I have learned this through bad experiences myself.
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Ihaknt says:
Dimp, is that why you always ask me a lot of questions? You’re worried about my motives. Fine! I won’t be nice to you anymore.
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Hi Dimp
Indeed, that is true, Same as me.
we just have to learn to choose our friend wisely I supposed.
are you living in jakarta?
I heard jakarta have a bad Flood.
I just hope the people are okay.______________
Hi Ihaknt
Don’t be take anything so personal, my dear friend.
we all in this earth want to make a friends.
see, if you respect others, and they will respect you as well.
Perhaps the person who ask about the motive have a reason.
they say think before you speak. 🙂 🙂 🙂
and maybe you will find the reasonable answer. -
Hi Ihaknt,
Dimp, is that why you always ask me a lot of questions? You’re worried about my motives. Fine! I won’t be nice to you anymore.
I am trying to remember the last time you were nice to me, nope, either I am suffering from a memory loss or you were never nice to me.
are you living in jakarta?
I heard jakarta have a bad Flood.Don’t live in Jakarta at the moment, still very sad seeing people struggling just to live. I think the leaders have to answer to the people. Heads have to roll.
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Tini says:
To Harry; I suggest you come to Thailand, here the girls don’t really care if ugly or handsame, tall or short, but here money talks, you can get any kind girl you like with out any problem.
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Sorry Harry what I am trying to say is even 70 year old white man can get 20 year girl so you should try, and Thailand is actually a better country than any other asian country except Singapore.
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Rya says:
HARRY, are you there?
I want to meet you and try to prove to myself how ugly you are. I don’t believe you, how can you talk about yourself like that. Email me at aryani_rahmawati@yahoo.com, I really really want to see you!
Best regards,
Rya (Indo girl) -
Bin Camel says:
Yes, there is always close relation between miss pussy and mr money, low class people apply it as prostitution, higher class call it love affair, for men on the top like sheikhs or kings, they call it concubines.
Don’t expect bule can date local chicks without no direct or indirect expenses.
Besides mr money, local ladies like to date expats because most of them have lost their virginity while bule don’t care about it.
Those who lost virginity are afraid they are not demandable to get domestic husband, they never aware that their hymens will determine or influence their future.
Other reason, local chicks thought bule is higher caste than indigenous.
Believe it or not. -
Mohammed Khafi says:
Bin Camel,
I think you must have spent too much time, laying under the desert sun! 🙂
You seem to have an obsession with Bule Men? Did you lose a girlfiend to one, or what?
No male in this country or any other for that matter can expect to date their potential partner without expences in one form or another, that is part of the courting ritual. It doesn’t matter if it is candy money or Jewellery, it is all relative and it is all an expence.
As to lost virginity, with your estimation of 40% of local girls losing their virginity, it would seem that many of us seem to place little enough value on chastity, unless you are suggesting that 40% of our young girls have lost their virginity to the less than 50,000 expat workers in Indonesia?
As to your suggestion that a hymen will influence a girls future, what planet are you from ‘Planet Arabia’?
Bule higher caste than indigenous? Do you really think that that is the only reason? The girls are looking for much more than a jump up the ladder of societal status. They are looking for any number of things, love for instance, companionship, genetic material to give them strong good looking children, a stable partner who can provide for them, and when we come down to it what is wrong with looking to improve your position in life.
Unfortunately you make too many generalisations about this situation, you point the finger at Bules but when it comes down to it, girls looking for a partner in life will pick those that they feel can give them what they are looking for, no doubt some of them are looking for money, but by and large the majority are looking for love, companionship and a stable relationship, with somebody they feel can appreciate them, it doesn’t matter if they are from any of the 18+ nationalities of expat workers here in Indonesia, but I guess you can only see the Bule because the stand out in the crowd!
Go to any country in the world where there is an immigrant population and you will find mixed race couples, it is natural for partners of different races and backgrounds to find each other attractive and alluring, it is part of human nature.
Just look at the results of mixed race marriages, blending and understanding of different cultures, and children who are invariably strong, smart and good looking! Make you wonder if God is trying to tell you something doesn’t it?
Peace
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Bin Camel, your view is very narrow minded. Not surprising judging from your name though.
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I’m an Indonesian girl. I had a western guy, he is canadian. I thought he’s really different with most Indonesian guys but I’m wrong. I thought he is same like mostly western, when have slept with Indonesian girl they will leave her. Fact is not, he really loves me. It’s happened because me full of honesty and I never ever do lie to him and others, even if they did too many lies on me.
And for westerners, don’t think that all of Indonesian girls is stupid girls. Probably that you are only had meet the stupid girls and coincindentally is they are Indonesian girls or nyt girls. A lot has being smarty girls in Indonesia more than western girls.
All of girls in the world has almost same, not even has different skins, different cultures, but the something one make them different for each others is their attitude. She is has good attitude or not.
When you adjust someone that she or he is not good person, you must look into yourself though. Ask to your self am I good person already? After you could say everything as you like about them.
Be smart in life and be the master of your destiny.
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Joel says:
I am Malaysian working in Medan. My hobbies are golf, swimming, hiking and everything fun and cool. Looking for a lady who share same interests.
Joel
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Mike says:
I am a western ex-pat and I think what Tina wrote above is very good and very accurate. I myself have the opportunity now to have a relationship with an Indonesian woman and I am married and have wife in America. I have been honest with my friend and she knows that she and I can never go beyond friendship so I am very honest to her that she must protect her feelings and not allow herself to be hurt. I will also respect her if all she wants is to be friends and share occasional dinner and dancing. I am respectful to her and would not ever be forceful to her against her wishes.
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Derrick says:
I dated and married an Indonesian woman, nothing but headaches. My friend also married an Indonesian woman, same thing. You Indonesian females act like the world owes you something. If we already have a circle of friends, you want us to stop assosiating with that circle. If I had to do it over again I probably would not go out with much less marry an Indonesian woman.
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Abul says:
You Indonesian females act like the world owes you something. If we already have a circle of friends, you want us to stop assosiating with that circle.
Dude, I think that applies to every gal in the whole freakin’ world. lol 😉
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Derrick and Abul said:
You Indonesian females act like the world owes you something. If we already have a circle of friends, you want us to stop assosiating with that circle.
Dude, I think that applies to every gal in the whole freakin’ world. lol
Relationships are all about sharing, marriages take understanding of each others needs and lots of hard work to meet each others expectations, needs and desires.
I have seem many relationships where either one or both partners have not made a deep enough commitment, either mentally, spiritually or even physically and that has destroyed what at first appeared to be wonderful matches. I have also seen marriages which at first would appear to be most unsuitable, different cultural, racial and religious backgrounds for instance, but where both partners have been commited and devoted to each other sufficiently to make incredibly happy longlasting marriages.The secret? Find somebody whom you love so dearly that you would sacrifice everything for them, find out if they would do the same for you, then spend the rest of your lives making each other happy by making compromises for each other, relationships take hard work and commitment and if you want the best you will have to make some sacrifices, but nothing can compare to the love that can be built on such a system.
Peace
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Harry says:
Indonesian girls are not for every bule (westerner). For most westerners Indonesia is the easiest place (by far) in the world to pick up avaialble girls for free. Most Indonesian girls are not looking for money when they date bule guys but they just love white guys, because they are what they are white guys.
But for some western guys Indonesia is the hardest place in the world to find girls. A select few bule can never get any of the local girls because these bule lack certain physical attributes and more importantly certain social skills and personality traits. Indo girls love guys who are carefree, confident and really happy, you cannot fake these feelings if you don’t have them, they will immediatley sense that you are bogus. It is also important that you behave in a non-threatening way and that your body language is relaxed and that you speak slowly with a soft voice and that your facial expression is relaxed and smiling.
The physcial traits are also important. Most Indo girls go for tall and handsome guys with blue eyes. Being fat or very skinny is not a problem as long as you are over 5.9″. But the social skills and personality traits are the most important. If you lack any of the physcial characteristics but have all the good social and personal traits you will still be attractive to the girls, on the other hand if you have the physical traits but lack any of the social and personality traits then the girls will be initially interested in you but back off quite fast (normally) If you lack the social and personality traits and also the physical traits you will not be succesful with any Indonesian girl, the best options are Thailand or back to your own country which I did.
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Janma says:
I ‘heart’ LOVE what Mohammed Khafi wrote…. People have a bunch of expectations when they go into a relationship, unfortunately these expectations can be widely disparate when dealing with two people from vastly different cultures and backgrounds. Add the language barrier into that and you are dealing with serious communication issues that only real love seems sanggup to surmount.
My husband is Indonesian, My ex husband is Indonesian. I love em man… but they won’t bloody work!!! What’s that about?????
Janma.
*who thinks diplomacy is about saying ‘Nice doggy’ while looking for the nearest rock.* -
Parvita says:
Find somebody whom you love so dearly that you would sacrifice everything for them, find out if they would do the same for you, ….
Where on earth do they exist? Only DOGS can give love unconditionally…LOL!
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I surely won’t make love to any freaking dog even when the bitch (glad I can say this term in context 🙂 ) is madly in love with moi.
Finding somebody who loves 50% me, 25% my physical attributes and 25% of my belongings will suit me just fine. surely I will love her back for the exact same reasons.
Hey, don’t shoot this guy here, my kids will surely appreciate having a hot and pretty mom! 😉 -
find out if they would do the same for you,
Khafi, and how do we do this?
To Derrick…aw…poor thing. Maybe you and your friend just got a bad batch. Not all of us are that bad. Go out with other chicks from different races and update us ok. Good luck.
To Harry, are you the same Harry who was wallowing earlier in the forum? Sounds you took a personality course.
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Parvita said:
Where on earth do they exist? Only DOGS can give love unconditionally”¦LOL!
Well all I can say to that is Woof, Woof!
Ihaknt:
I honestly can’t tell you how to do it, just as I cannot tell you how to fall in love, or how to have 100% trust! I think you just have to have a gut instinct about it, If you have found the right person, and your relationship is based on mutual love, respect and honesty, I think it can be done.
Unfortunately so many of us develop relationships for the wrong reasons and instead of it being based on a heart felt love we base it more on superficial things which are not as powerful or as meaningful. A relationship based on the things I mentioned earlier, should be far stronger than one based on how a person looks or how powerful or rich they are or even on how they make you feel sexually, these things can be fleeting and transient, that is not to say that they will not work for some people, but I don’t think they are the cement that holds a relationship together long term.
Relationships need work to keep them strong, they are like a garden, tend the garden with love and care, feed and water it and pull out the weeds and it will reward you with beauty and sustenance. Neglect it, and it will wither, choke and eventually run wild. There may still be a beauty of sorts about it and there may still be some food, but it will pale in comparison to the one which is carefully tended and cared for.
Peace
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Azrob says:
Salamat po:
I found this site by accident. I met a few indo girls in southern thailand with my friend. He lived in Jakarta for 15 years and speaks bahasa fluently. They seemed quite nice and sweet, elegant etc. We all only had dinner together a few nights so no hot romances to talk about.
My friend claims that Indo girls are more to be trusted in the long term girlfriend department then Thai girls.
Another plus is that bahasa seems about as simple a language to learn as possible, and light years easier then pasa thai or pu tong hua.I am on my way to Thailand again next week; maybe I will take a trip to Indonesia this summer, as I have 3 months to spend goofing around in asia anyways.
To harry and the other guys who can’t find a nice girl in indo: go to the philippines; go to a smaller town, stay out of bars go to the malls and meet normal girls. You will be guaranteed to meet a nice girl, meet her after work for coffee several times then start hanging out at her house with all 100 relatives; learn to sing karaoke! nuff said.
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Louie says:
I saw a old quote here from Parvita about foreigners who have only a 1 bed room apartment in the US and can live like Kings in Indonesia and are unwanted and cannot compete in their own country. I live in the US and I cannot compete well. I am being honest, I know I have come to Indonesia or Asia to try to find someone to be with, cause I am not lucky in love in the US, cause I have a disability. I may have nice eyes and look good, but I lack some major life functions that Westernized women really need. Phone use, dancing, music etc. I am deaf, so I cannot offer those, and also there is job discrimination in the US and I cannot land a good job, so I don’t make much in the US either. Your’e exactly right, I had an ex wife and she was miserable when she found out I was not rich and I had tiny place and tiny car and she became extremely violent and nearly killed me and the police had to remove her and deport her. Yes very dramatic past though. I just don’t know what I can do anyway.
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Tony says:
I have a recommendation for all of the men on the website. Foreigner, Indonesian, Chinese, etc. Do not let women in Indonesia get you down. If you are feeling depressed, please go down to Jl. Panggeran Jayakarta and ask for Kompleks Kota Indah. Ask for a place called “Sari Ayu”.
I guarantee that after one or two hours, all of your troubles will wash away. Have fun and don’t take life too seriously because it can end just as fast as it starts. Live each day as if it were your last and get down to Sari Ayu TODAY!
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Michael Knight says:
I went to Indonesia for a wedding and I met a lovely young girl who is half indo/half japanese. We communicate mostly through japanese, but I call her my mama goreng. We had an amazing affair in Jakarta for about a month. She went to school in Japan and I went back to the states.
I am currently in the process of bringing her here to the states to marry her. I am kind of worried about how my family and friends will adjust to a 93lb 4’10 beauty, as I am 6’2” 220 lbs athletic weightlifter type.
I want to marry her and take care of her. She was the only girl i have been with that sang me to sleep every night as well as wake me up by rubbing menthol on my chest every morning. I am a banker and make good money. Do you think she really loves me or just my western looks and money? I really am devoted to her and would be extremely heart-broken to take all this effort to bring her here and marry her if she were to be unfaithful. We met at a place called Manna House in Jakarta, but on the plus side she calls me daily from Yokosa, Japan. I hope this will work out =) -
Sputjam says:
Michael, ever heard the term “chilly padi”. The smaller the chily, the more potent it becomes. So good luck in your endeavour.
I have seen many “whites” who married asians. But in a group consisting of whites, the poor asian female mates just cannot get along, maybe due to poor language proficiency, or different cultural traits.
She may end up being a loner.
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Sputjam, well I have thought of that, thats an extremely valid point. We are both young I am 26 she is 22. She is fluent in Japanese, bahasa, and her english is getting alot better. I live in Los Angeles and there are large Indonesian and Japanese populations.
I am extremely devoted to her and will do everything in my power to make her happy. Everytime I went out to clubs in Indonesia I was approached by many indo women, but they weren’t nearly as beautiful as my girl, I was not interested. She bought me many gifts while I was there, which was a surprise, not many of my western girlfriends/dates have done that. What attracted me to her most was the way she lit up the room and lit up my heart. She hasn’t asked for money of any kind while we have been separated, which is a good sign I think.
I hope I have found my wife, after many women failing to measure up to my standards. -
Follow your heart!
Peace
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Hi Anna,
Indeed I am. Should be proud to be one, but lately have been questioning the behaviour of some of my countrymen.