54 Comments on “The Perfect Woman”
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Purba Negoro says:
Wiser words were never spoken Bung Achmad.
The Aussie is indeed the krebo bule. A one track mind.., “where’s me beeyaa, where’s me tea, ya washed me smalls? Wanna hump?”
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AAB…
Hot under the collar? Nope!
My guess is that you were born and raised in Australia. Perhaps your friends that you so eloquently refer to as “wogs” where your school boy buddies.
But, when it is all said and done, you really do need to learn a new trick aside from slandering all Anglo-Celt Australians. It would seem to me that AAB is a pseudonym like Barry Prima, Achmad, and many others that post on this site. So, perhaps the pseudo here is you. Perhaps you are an Australian pretending to be Indonesian.
Andy is wrong to lump all Indonesians into one stereotype and suggest all Indonesians are evil or bad or whatever. This is clearly not the case. Similarly, not all Australians hold the views that Andy does and then chooses to espouse here. Similarly, I do not believe your views to be representative of the views of all Indonesians or even all Javanese or all the proud followers of Kejawen.
But it is easy to hide behind a pen name and cast insults far and wide. It is another thing to develop and sustain an argument on principles supported by the odd fact or stat.
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Andy says:
I’ve received a lot of flak on this forum as usual but the usual culprits appear to have misread or misinterpreted again what I have written.
I have NOT putdown any kampung ladies, in fact I admire tham perhaps more than any other in the country. It is the Indonesian elites(who run the country) who put them down, refuse to educate them and talk ill to them. Even middle class children are allowed to speak badly to them (bules respect their elders) and their parents continue to pay them poor salaries and parade them in uniforms in the mall just to show off to all how many pembatus they can afford.
The title of this forum is ‘how to get a bule man’. My advice is pretty clear for those who can read. I said they would make great wives but in today’s world unfortunately you have to have a grasp of western culture. Sure some bules stay and live there but the majority do not. And the majority of Indonesian women who marry bules do want a new life in the west.
Onto the Philippines, yes it is a former US colony and was home to the largest naval and air force bases in SE Asia. So what, they know where their bread is buttered. President Arroyo knows and has said it many times that the money from expat filipinos in the west contributes greatly to their economy. This is a lesson that Indonesia could learn. I mean they are very happy with the donations from mine and other bule countries but if their own could ‘bring home the bacon’ all the better, right?
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Andy,
Philippines is the regions’ Mexico. It is really an excellent analogy- their mindless infatuation with their white slave-dorvers (I believe called the Stockholm syndrome), derivative culture, oppression of advanced, high-cultured ancient indigenes, etc
It too has a remittance reliant economy- making up over 30% of Mexican GDP.
Just what happens when the poor downtrodden American demands his job security and fair pay for fair work?
Implozione- implosion.
Philippines is better served as a state of Indonesia. We used to rule it
our culture is very close,
Our Philippine brothers just need someone to remind them what backbone is and pull that heavy white burden off their back.Problem is whites hate an uppity brown man- just look what they did to poor Malcom X and Martin Luther King.
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Whatever Purba, they are doing a whole lot better than your uneducated islamic rabble…Would they want to be under you? dream on they hate islam and their puppets and know what your country has done to others in the region. I have been there several times, a model for Indonesia to follow. You have nothing to gain by hating the west and following islam believe me..it will be the end of your people eventually.
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PN…
I always thought that it was the Nation of Islam and Louis Farrakhan who were most frequently implicated in the assassination of Malcolm X. As a matter of fact those convicted of the murder of Malcolm X were all members of the Nation of Islam, perhaps this is a little more than mere implication.
I am sure that the response will be that there is some big conspiracy at play and the assassins were the lackeys of some omnipotent but never seen white fella working in much the same way as a dalang does in the wayang. Yet, the public record is as it currently is and as such it was not, in the case of Malcolm X, some white man trying to suppress the black man. Quite to the contrary, it was a personal feud between black men.
Martin Luther King Jr. is a different case. Perhaps a conspiracy that saw James Earl Ray implicated as a lone assassin or perhaps he was a lone assassin. Maybe one day we will know more when all of the pertinent documents are declassified and released for public perusal.
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Yes,
Senior Rob el Pedantissimo
we market the product for the target demographic.If my audience as you and such similar enlightened honourary Javanese- I’m sure I could manage a Ulysses-esque piece for us all to analyse.
But for the outer suburbanites- we have to be crude by necessity.
Nation of Islam- very strange organisation.
I think we Muslims all found it very curiously amusing.Sadly we will never know why poor ML King was truly shot- in the same way poor Pak Suharto can never be truthfully analysed by the Western academic- the post-modernist self-indulgent dogma of the primacy of the emotive ahead of the empirical, minority rights and other trite facile crap will forever hamper them until they realise it was as much a utterly foolish and forgettable faux pas as the orang and mission-brown striped extra wide kipper tie.
So we wiser Javanese patiently endure the infantile “My Two Dads” non-divisive, pro-ethnic, multi-religious, all gender puppet show using all organic biodegradable fair-trade materials as made by the quaint and noble pygmy (sorry- height challenged) people of the Niger delta.
We know wayang rules the roost- we even trump the Indians’ own brilliant original Ramayana with our version.
So sit, wait, smile politely at the bule- it’s our Javanese way- “Simet sabar ya Mas Sinyo…monggo…” -
PN-I know plenty of Indonesian women who have converted to Christianity for heir beloved.
Only met one out of thousands who were forced to convert to Islam..Isn’t it a law in Indonesia that if a bule wishes to wed a muslim they must convert? If not then many Indonesian muslims are plain liars because I have been told this by many.
I also remember the outrageous law that was considered about making bules pay $50,000 to marry Indonesian women..Now AAB and co. was this to try and make things a level playing field? You truly embarrassed yourselves when one of your bumbling pollies suggested it.
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Andy…
The Indonesian law does not say you have to covert to Islam if you want to marry a Muslim. What the law says is that the bride and groom must be of the same religion. Therefore, one of the parties must convert.
As is the usual case in Indonesia, enforcement leaves a lot to be desired. There are numerous instances of people converting for the formalities, there are also numerous examples where prospective brides and grooms find a religious person willing to do the ceremony where the partners are not of the same religion. Those that can afford it get married overseas.
The 50K that was proposed was designed to provide some financial protection for women who married foreigners and the marriage ended in divorce. In that sense the intent was reasonable. The bigger problems were related to how this particular pearl of wisdom was going to be enforced, how was the money going to be handled, when a marriage reached a certain number of years would the money be refunded, plus myriad of other questions.
An even bigger problem was that many women (and many men) as well felt that this whole idea was more like government sponsored trafficking. In many ways it was almost government sponsored prostitution as the government sort to sell Indonesian women for at least 50K a marriage. This is particularly so considering that Indonesian men did not have to ante up 50K to marry an Indonesian woman nor did they have to ante up 50K to marry a foreign woman.
Perhaps, the government should have listened to some more Beatles music and they might have come across “money can’t buy me love”. It also presupposed that foreigners had a spare 50K to give to the Indonesian government. I do OK, but I dream about having 50K in cash lying around. If the rule had come into force I know that I would be single and not currently married.
All in all it was misguided.
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Andy
if you had mastered the art of reading- you’d find this posted in every Embassy website- including Ostraya’s.Law No. 1 of 1974 concerning marriages in Indonesia Article 2 (1):
“a marriage is legitimate if it has been performed according to the laws of the respective religious beliefs of the parties concerned.
All couples that marry in Indonesia must declare a religion. Agnosticism and Atheism are not recognized. The Civil Registry Office (Kantor Catatan Sipil) can record marriages of persons of Islam, Hindu, Buddhist, Christian-Protestant and Christian-Catholic faiths. Marriage partners must have the same religion, otherwise one partner must make a written declaration of change of religion.”Hardly conversion- merely paperwork to conform to the Law.
Most of the sluts you cross-pollinated both of your various strains of your advancing syphilis were probably Muslims too Andy.
Which would bests explain the advancing dementia and loss of taste sensation.Catch up please Andy- it’s hardly new and you cannot possibly claim to be misinformed.
The proposal for a Rp 500 million was recommended during a Supreme Court national working meeting, which was attended by the Supreme Court leadership and top judges from across the country- maes and females.
It had very strong backing from the Minister of Women’s Affairs- also a woman.The proposal was based very frankly on concern for the predation of low-end whites predating on Indonesian women.
The rationale was that these naive village women would not be abused or taken advantage of if the male prospective spouse had adequate income to support her, or in the unsurprising case of divorce or his bigamy, she would be adequately compensated.Unfortunately the Bali bomb scared off most of the usual suspects, due to characteristic cowardice.
The proposal was entirely conceived to protect Indonesian women and provide her and her likely children a future free from poverty when gutless, penniless bule ran as that sort usually do .
Hardly unrealistic view of borderline blue-collar whites, as evidenced by you Andy, and other swill-munchers and their disgusting treatment Phillippina and Thai women they still treat as their syphillis and gonorrhea storage tanks.
But they couldn’t try that sh*t in their own country as they’re missing aphrodisiac of poverty.The Ministry of Justice and Human Rights had submitted a bill to amend the 1958 Citizenship Law to the House of Representatives in 2005.
Quite frankly- I fully support it. If it was truly love- where there’s will, there’s a way- he could always get a loan if he truly loved/trusted her that much. If not- obviously a crap choice for a bride.
But for Andy:
You can buy a Chinese wife in Singkawan for only Rp 5 million (see IM matters article: http://www.indonesiamatters.com/1663/singkawang/In Jakarta- even better- gratis. Flash a Chinese girl a blue or red passport- they’ll all bend over and drop their undies without your initiation- male and female alike.
White skin means a ticket out- no matter how, small your bank account or manhood may be.
But you are already acquainted with that.This Law would mean low-grade adolescents like Andy wouldn’t have a chance and very rapidly deflate their little puffed up pigeon chests- as they would finally realise they were well out of their depth and totally undesirable.
Air kisses Andy. You know I love you so.
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A woman called up The Jakarta Post the other day in a panic after reading a Post article on the proposal for the government to require expatriate men to deposit some Rp 500 million (about US$50,000) before marrying an Indonesian woman.
“My sister’s fiance is Dutch. And he said even if he had the money, he’d be better off investing it in a business,” said the woman.
The idea was put forward in a recent Supreme Court national working meeting, the highest forum of judges from across the country. Yet, it is still unclear how and when the proposed scheme would be implemented.
A Supreme Court judge, who attended the meeting, said the idea had been floating around for the past few years.
“The judges are concerned about the poor conditions for Indonesian women, particularly when they are separated from their expatriate husbands. The women usually lost custody over their children, who automatically become expatriates, and are left with no money,” said the judge who requested anonymity.”
http://springsun.multiply.com/reviews/item/2
Told you Dutchmen were crap. More proof.
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Purba you idiot, whites are hardly scared off. In fact more Australians than ever are going to Bali since the last attacks. We know what your country is good for. Getting blind drunk and rooting your women in a wild 2 week orgy.
The $50,000 law is amusing. How about the 100,000,000 Indonesians on less than a million a month who can marry whoever they like? It is your men who condemn your women to a life of poverty and misery as if you haven’t checked lately, your country is one of the poorest in the region and not getting any better. Most women married to locals will never even leave their village and a trip to slummy Jakarta is the best they can ever hope for. No that law was designed for insecure men who have to attack the bule at any cost to hide their many deficiencies. What a pathetic race you belong to Purba. What is the average salary of the bule you constantly putdown and then compare that to your own. The fact is if there were no obstacles in place (from both ends) your women would be flooding the west in massive numbers.
I wasn’t talking about the legalities of marrying within religions, I meant usually the onus is on the bule to convert to Islam when wishing to marry a muslim. Rarely will a muslim convert to another religion. Their family would not allow it and their community would treat her like a 2nd class citizen from that day forth. Muslims are an unforgiving mob, in neighbouring Malaysia this is a criminal offence (changing religion) and in the middle east it is punishable by death. Just like Indonesian men, muslims are insecure and aware of their own weakness, without impediments nobody would give either the time of day.
As for the chinese, with your record of racism and bigotry who wouldn’t want to leave Indonesia. A country with a truly shameful history of race relations which will only get worse not better.
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Interesting how Purba and co. have thrown water balloon at the Philippines, bules and everyone else I mentioned but have carefully sidestepped the issue of the exploitation of their pembantus. I’m guessing Purba pays his pembantus less than 500,000 rp and is one of those who parades them around in the malls like a carnival exhibit just to show off to wealthy Chinese or bules how many he can own.
Kind of reminds me of the good ol’ south of the USA pre 1860 during the slave era.
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Andy-
sorry- darling- I have no idea what rooting is- is it some form of agricultural activity? Is that what peasants do for fun?You never mentioned pembantus. Furthermore- exploitation is incredibly subjective.
We’ve discussed this before. I’m not going to repeat myself.Indonesia doesn’t hate bule- we just hate the low-end bottom feeders.
We tolerate them in Bali- business necessity- the bulk of all tourist industry is via quantity, not quality sales.Most bule in Jakarta are long-term employed by multi-nationals. The pay their taxes, are good consumers and are majority low-key and inoffensive.
It’s when the itinerant low-end males middle-management, sales-marketing agent, backpacker, English teacher and other sex-tourists come to town, that’s when the trouble starts.It’s unfortunate the few rotten apples ruin the basket- but that’s the way things go
Same situation for the West’s perception of Islam- the mideast is only 17% of total muslims- the majority are Asian: India and IndonesiaIt is no secret I and the majority more want every last one of the Chinese termites out of our woodwork.
If life here is so horrible- they’re more than welcome to go home to China.
I know I can easily find masses of support ond sponsorship with an airfare fund for one way tickets.Otherwise they should bear the consequences of their behaviour without nary a whimper.
Realistically, the rot can only stop once the infestation has been utterly removed. Then damage assessment and repairs can begin and then we assess the true strength or weakness of our timber.
Slave labour: well actually Ostraya, like the US, fins local employees far too expensive and fussy.
What does it do- invents sound-bites like “inadequate labour supply” and other BS to justify hiring thousands of illegals on slave wage rates for agricultural and timber work.To the detriment of the Australian or US worker.
So who is the real slave trader Andy- the rich nation that hires Third world illegals on Third World wages to pick its fruit as it’s cheaper to keep a native impoveshed on welfare than employ them?
If Mr Yin Chinaman or Mr Chantaporn Thaiman or Mr Ramirez Phillipinoman wrecks his back, looses a leg or an arm- tough luck buddy- but good news- your going home. So- who are you again? sorry never met you before in my life. Security!
or a nation that abides by wage laws- admittedly static and somewhat inadequate accounting for current inflation?
From your own newspaper Andy- the Ostrayan:
http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,25197,24272629-5013404,00.htmlWatch “Fastfood Nation”- it’s a good movie. Very accurate illustration of widespread employer exploitation of non-whites and poor whites alike.
Didn’t Howard say Ostraya is just like the US…?
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The main reason this absurd law wasn’t introduced was because they know what will happen next. Bule man and Indonesian lady would duck over to neighbouring Singapore and marry in a civil registry. No religion and no money for the penny pinching corrupt Indonesian sytem. Simple solution to what would be a major headache staying home and marrying.
Or they could live secretly in Indonesia as a defacto couple for two years and still apply for Australian residency. Believe you me if the neighbours know you well enough along with the Satpam boys nobody would care. This is another archaic absurd law that the Indonesians haven’t scrapped from their books. Time to enter the 20th or even 21st century boys.
All the laws mentioned especially the $50,000 law are incredibly sexist aren’t they? And our good friend Purba seems to think I was that when he misquoted me recently on the topic of pembantus. But I am against this law as I know many Indonesian women can stand on their own two feet in the west and work in a professional capacity therefore not needing the support of either their new bule husband or the Indonesian government. They will leave the Indonesian government to do more important things like clean up their corrupt system and try to fight terrorism (the real obligation of most countries that Indonesia doesn’t have to balls to tackle)
Attention all-Indonesia is a sexist racist country. This is in line with all other rogue, muslim states. A curse on all of them!
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Andy…
I think you will find that the main reason this has not gone forward does not have anything to do with corruption but rather a lot to do with considerable opposition from women and NGOs that support women’s rights. The rejection has more to do with the commercial exploitation of women by their own government and the appearance of selling their affections to those that pay.
The fact that there were loopholes and people would go to Singapore or elsewhere has been noted. If the government was serious about picking up the idea as conceived by the Supreme Court, then closing the off-shore marriage loophole is as easy as putting in a provision that says all Indonesian women married to an non-Indonesian citizen must register their marriage at the Religious Affairs Office or the Civil Registry and pay a deposit of USD 50K.
The point of the proposed rule was not whether an Indonesian woman has the skills to earn a living overseas (this presumes that all foreigners move or return to their place of origin — not so). Indonesian women are clearly more than capable of cutting in the big bad world, perhaps more so than some expats are of cutting it in this part of the world. The point was to provide financial security to Indonesian women who married foreigners, had children with these foreigners, and then these upstanding foreigners then bailed out leaving the wife and children behind. The idea being that extracting money and child support payments that were awarded in an Indonesian court would be nigh impossible, hence if the 50K was already here and deposited then the wife and children would not be left high and dry.
Do all expats marry locals and then leave the spouse and children high and dry, No. Are there some that so yes.
There were many problems with the rule. It was poorly conceived, not thought through before being made public, and simply offensive to the vast majority.
The idea that Indonesia does not have the testicular fortitude (balls for want of a better term) to fight corruption and terrorism is a plain misrepresentation of what has transpired over recent years. Is corruption getting worse? Perhaps. Statistically it would seem so. However, we also need to factor into the corruption equation that there are better reporting mechanisms and more people are reporting it. This does not mean that there is more corruption, but rather it means that people are more confident of reporting and getting the relevant authorities involved to fight it.
The KPK or Corruption Eradication Commission has had success over the last 5 or 6 years in fighting corruption. Is there more to be done, yes. Will corruption ever be eradicated, no. There are still instances of corruption in Australia, the US, the UK, and all the other countries that you would consider the beacons of human rights and democracy.
With respect to terrorism. Indonesia has moved forward in this area as well. Have they done as much as the could have will depend on how much you know. Not everything is in the public domain on this front. It is worth noting that Indonesia has had successes on this front too. There has not been a terrorist attack for some time (touch wood and with a bit of luck there will not be another). Are there extremists in Indonesia, yes. But there are extremists everywhere. Australia has had a terrorist trial, right? So, this means that there are terrorist in Australia, right? The point being that terrorists are not only resident in certain countries.
Your point on terrorism was to equate Islam with terrorism and then draw the conclusion that because Indonesia is a country where there is a majority of Muslims then by default it must be an official (perhaps unofficial) supporter of terrorism. This logic would seem to suggest that because Australia is a majority white nation and that the government until recently refused to apologize to our Indigenous brothers and sisters that the government of Australia is a supporter of racism and Australia is a nation of racists. Your logic is wrong!
What qualifies as a rogue Muslim state? The US Sec. of State was just in Libya normalizing relations between the US and Libya. By my reckoning that means that the US does not consider Libya to be a rogue Muslim state. What do you measure this rogueness by? Who is claiming Indonesia is a rogue Muslim state?
Anyone having read what you have written in these threads could be forgiven for thinking that Australia was a racist sexist country. Your bashing of Indonesia reinforces the stereotypes that Indonesians have of Australians. But thankfully there are a lot of Indonesians that understand that you are not representative of the majority and you are not part of the mainstream. There has been a recent survey of Indonesian and Australian attitudes to our relationship and these results indicate a lot greater understanding of the relationship than do your contributions here.
Once again, have a nice Sunday, and take that as you will!
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Thank you Rob!! You have proven once and for all that bules are the fair, reasonable people that I have spoken about discarding racism and unfair play in the interests of a reasonable debate.
We can agree to disagree and probably have a cold beer and a few laughs. We would probably also wave an aussie flag but still chat about Indonesian issues agreeing to disagree. Unlike our counterparts up north who all seem to unite even when outrageously racist and sexist comments are directed left, right and centre. You see mate educated people (from Indonesia) who were educated in the west seem more united in their hatred towards us while Indonesian locals who possibly have never held any malice towards anyone would be drawn through nothing other than blind nationalism and money from politicians to this plot. So the educated minority are the ones who really hate us because they still harbour a grudge against anyone doing better in the real world.
The only politician who has held the same principles as the Indonesian minority is Pauline Hanson. She was vilified as an extremist nationalist in Australia but believes in mmmm no immigration, protection of local nationals and most of all protection of Australian industry. Seems like the Indonesian doctrine from all even the most liberal.
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Rob-The 50K that was proposed was designed to provide some financial protection for women who married foreigners and the marriage ended in divorce. In that sense the intent was reasonable.
Yes so then it is reasonable to ask all Indonesian men to cough up money to marry Indonesian ladies. I mean if the average Joe, Adit or Purba is worth less than a million rupiah a month then they are the ones to have to prove their worth. A woman marrying a bule on the dole is better off under those odds. Also if they divorce, under bule laws they are entitled to protection under the law they are not under their own country’s law. Try telling a muslim male your husband left you for another woman and you need help. They would laugh in your face. I met more than my share of child brides from kampungs who married their husbands knowing their parents couldn’t give them a proper education and needed the added security of a 20 something groom to give them a measly million here or there.
Also if an Indonesian male divorces his wife she is destined to a life of poverty and misery maybe begging in front of cars on the street. The state in the west will support her no doubt.
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Andy…
I made the point about the discriminatory nature of the rule in an earlier post. Yep, what’s good for the goose is good for the gander. If foreigners must pay 50K then so should our Indonesian brothers. Yes, statistics would show that more Indonesian men divorce their Indonesian wives than do western men married to Indonesians. Yet, this seemed to have been of little concern to the Supreme Court judges.
I did make the point a number of times that the rule was poorly thought out and poorly constructed. What I also said was that the intent was reasonable with respect to protection afforded to the women and children effected. But, once again that the construction was faulty. On the discrimination front it should also be noted that where a foreign woman wants to marry an Indonesian man then they should have to fork over the 50K as well.
Divorce among Indonesians seems to be becoming more prevalent (nope have searched the stats on this one, anecdotal only) so perhaps the Indonesian government should spend more time on this rather than how to make life even more difficult for foreigners who fall in love with Indonesians.
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Yes Rob, again I will say if Purba, AAB or Mets all disagree with each other and support you, me or Oigal over one of their own pigs will fly…..or they will eat pork!
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Andy- I have a longer rebuttal- but I am busy right now- so you’ll have to wait for that boot.
Islam does not specifically ban pork as halal- it bans meat that is “dirty or unclean”.
Another poster on this site gave very good explanation- that the medieval Arabic term for both pig and ditrty was the same: as in the same vane like calling your son a filthy pig for living in a pig sty of a bedroom- then applying the same epithet to meat. It doesn’t work.Also- numerous anthropologists argue that pork consumption was banned by the Talmud and Q’uran because intestinal worms and lethal baccili.
Also pigs need shade and water- and cannot eat grass and other fodder like sheep, goats or cows. Probably they were also seen wallowing in their own faeces eating rubbish, carrion and even dead pigs- not very endearing.Also- most Indonesian Catholics will avoid pork too- I have even heard stories of Irish and Scots avoiding pork completely.
Indonesians are not acquainted much with pork aside from Chinese version of it- which is God awful, loaded with chemicals, God only knows what meat it actually is, or just downright disgusting.
A very poor model for any comparison- like an Indonesian judging all Australian beef is as awful as the leathery old steaks Outback serves up.
But pork does exist even Iran has delicious Zard K?h ham- and has survived the Islamic revolution.
Many Indonesians love eating Babi guling in Bali.Alcholohol is not forbidden- simply getting drunk is- one story from the Q’uran is that Muhammed went to pray- one of his companions had been drinking and fell asleep when he was meant to be praying- not very good form even in the West.
Also, it is interpreted as a means of protecting women and children from the abuses alcoholism causes- Ireland and pre-Prohibition USA are good examples of that argument too.So in the Indonesian interpretation- it should be- steer clear of Chinese pork, but the bacon they serve in Singapore or breakfast- that one you keep convincing yourself is beef, and that Subway triple-salami roll you love so much is ok.
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Mets says:
@ Andy – there is not point attempting to have an intellectual debate with you …all you do is insult!!!
& for the record I’m egnostic……..YOU TOTALLY MAKE YOUR STATEMENTS BASED ON ASSUMPTIONS
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foolosophy says:
Rob, AS IF you don’t know the government’s unwritten culture..
They make everything harder for expats because they know one thing: expats have money.
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Rob, must be hot for you under the collar as you probably belong to this group.
One things that many (or all) of my wogs friends and I agree: Bules from the UK and their ex-convict kins are notorious nosey smart alecs. You can see their sticky attitude the moment you are near one, even in blog like this one. They break easily example Andy calling all Indonesian women ‘whores’; Briton Dawud Farquhar & Barry Prima trying to teach us Islam. Just to name a few. Plus I speak from experience during my time spent in Ostraya. You simply just can’t trust ’em.