Kevin Bloody Wilson
Sep 11th, 2008, in Opinion, by Achmad SudarsonoAchmad appreciates Australian popular culture, in this case the songs of Kevin Bloody Wilson.
Appreciating Australia: Kevin Bloody Wilson
As a gesture of goodwill in this fasting month, I’d like to help build bridges.. There have been some harsh words thrown on this forum, so I’d like to help heal and unite IM readers by throwing light on other cultures.
As a Ramadan gift, I present to you the first in a series of Appreciating Australia.
Australians are a simple and fun-loving folk. It’s true, the subtleties of Indonesian humour such as Dono, Kasino, Indro, or Tukul, are probably lost on them. But as a more sophisticated civilization, we Javanese have a duty, especially in Ramadan, to understand our crude brothers and sisters down south. (We will, of course, be ruling them one day).
Here we profile a quintessential Australian comedian, the great, the one and only…
Kevin Bloody Wilson
The 61-year old Kevin Bloody Wilson has been strumming his guitar in pubs in the English-speaking world, since bursting onto the underground music scene in Kalgoorlie, Western Australia, 1984. Two decades of songs about farting, rootin’ (having sex), and drinking beer have won him a global following, which he claims includes Prince Charles.
Kevin Bloody Wilson
Kev represents the essence of Australian humour. What Aussie can forget classics such as:
- “Mick the Master Farter”
- “I Gave Up Wanking”
- “That F–kn Cat’s Back”
Sure, the cultural attaché at the Embassy in Jakarta, might rattle off names of Australian comedians like Dame Edna Everage, and Clive James. But those two snobs left Australia in the 1960s. Let’s not forget the greatest cultural attaché Australia has ever had: Sir Les Patterson, himself a great fan of Kev.
To many, Kev is primarily a great entertainer. Repeated themes include farting and matters of the anus, (Festival of Farts, Mick the Master Farter, Chucka Browneye), masturbation, (I Gave Up Wanking, Grandad’s Got A Stiffy), and sexual intercourse, (Rootin’ in the Back of the Ute, Do Ya F–k on First Dates?- aka Kev’s Courtin’ Song), and female genitalia, (Absolute C-nt of a Day, You Can’t Say C-nt in Canada).
Songs about Australian identity have always been important to Kev. In “The Shane Warne Song”, Kevin exhorts a famous cricketer to focus on his training, whilst volunteering to take on Mr. Warne’s duties to “Do the Rootin’ For Australia”. Elsewhere, Kev calls on listeners to “Chucka Browneye for Australia”, encouraging them to lower their trousers or outer garments and display their anus as a tribute to their nation.
But a closer listen to Kev’s lyrics and songs reveals a serious exploration of the human condition. As such, Kev reveals a philosophical heart (or fart) to the ubiquitous, beer-gutted Australian man (and woman).
“Grandad’s Got A Stiffy”.
Consider, “Grandad’s Got A Stiffy”. In “Grandad”, Kev explores the ravages of age, of loss, but the importance of facing mortality with optimism and hope. Grandad tells the story of an elderly man committed to a nursing home who burst his colostomy (bag), whilst masturbating.
The old bastard laid sprawled on the nursing home floor,
He’d been wanking and fell out of his chair,
As he fell on his guts, his colostomy bust,
Splattering muck and guck and sh–t everywhere,
Despite emptying the contents of the bag all over the wall and his nurse, Grandad maintained a positive attitude, and indeed refused to cease his favourite hobby!
But he wouldn’t stop wanking,
So we chucked on a blanket,
So the women and kids couldn’t see,
his battered banana hangin out his pyjamas and the cum stain an shit on his sheets
…but that filthy old bastard sat cackling laughing, just waving his slug in the air
Nor has Kev been afraid to court controversy. In “Living Next Door To Alan”, Kev takes on the thorny issue of race relations. This song lampoons a group of Australian Aboriginals who use their welfare payments to compete with Australia’s wealthiest man (in the 1980s), now-failed entrepreneur Alan Bond. “Living” alleges that the aboriginals used welfare payments to purchase luxury cars, houses, and even rent a warship from the Australian navy. Critics claim such welfare payments were inadequate to buy such goods.
Kev maintained he was the people’s poet, telling Brisbane’s Courier Mail: couriermail
I’m just voicing the sort of thing people want to hear. I don’t want to sound as if I am on a crusade, but I just write what most of us are thinking. It involves lampooning everyone in the process.
Dismissing critics, Kev proved his commitment to appreciating cultural diversity with “the Bali Belly Song”. Kev’s account of his trip to the Hindu island consisted of several verses describing his time on “the throne” with diarrhea and intestinal problems.
[audio:bali-belly.mp3]
Listen to “Bali Belly”.
Love, however, could be the most enduring of Kev’s themes, with his many ditties perhaps rivaling Shakespeare. In “Rootin’ in the Back of the Ute”, Kev celebrates a time-honoured Australian mating practice. “Da Ya F–ck On First Dates”, is Kev’s demonstration of a chivalry rarely attributed to him.
Since his smash-hit 1984 album, “Your Average Australian Yobbo”, Kev has proven his fair-dinkumness (authenticity) as a true Australian by refusing to bow to the warriors of political correctness.
Kev has defied the self-appointed custodians of Australian literature and music by focusing on themes that obsess ordinary Australians everywhere, drinking beer, rootin’, farting, and amusing themselves by stringing together obscene words.
Some of the more famous songs include:
- Hey Santa Claus
- You Can’t Say C—nt in Canada
- The Pubic Hair Song
- Dick’taphone
- Ho Ho F—kg Ho,
- F—k Ya Guts Out
- That Damn Anal Fiend
To his critics, Kev would probably simply quote the signature he offers fans at his various gigs, “F—k You! Kev!”.
95 Comments on “Kevin Bloody Wilson”
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Purba Negoro says:
Hihihi memang- Clayton is Klaten our new Majapahit colony- the Indonesian colonisation method is buy wining over native with yummy food and strange exotic treats.
And good Indonesian food on Clayton Road- the owner is Javanese. Yes. Many African like the fried chicken.
Also many Timorese in Klaiten- at first provocative, rude and annoying- but soon they realise even nasty elitist Javanese ex soldier who has toured Aileu much better company than Australian or Greek native boor.
I enjoyed argument when teach dim their country name in Tetum “Timor Loro Sa’e” is actually entirely Javanese- Timor the Good One.
Very amusing.Also 2 Indonesian grocery store- Chinese from Palembang. One nbear junction of Wellington road and on that big road there is a McDonalds… I forget the name… anyone- it lead all the way into the city 3 lanes both ways?
One in Clayton Road.Our other colony emerging is near Office Works- at Holmesglen.
I think all the food shop there are Chinese from Indonesia with typical sob-story cerita dongeng cengeng.Klaten on Kelapa Gading will become Kemusem- yes- Javanese to the core.
We shall turn the Talmudic Monash into our Keraton, it has plenty of alon-alon for our prajurit.My son went to that Uni.
He finished in 1999. I actually did not see many white faces- I think maybe 70-780% non-English speaking Indian and Chinese (not sure where they lived- but that was their ethnicity).If there is a gay pribumi Indonesian guy called “Budi” who still work in Student Services- say Sugeng from Pak Purbanegoro yang sanget Jawir , ya?
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Aluang Anak Bayang says:
@ Andy re
Don’t be silly. You are talking like a boy scout.
Ostraya has only 2 choices: Pay tribute disguised as Ausaid to save face or face invasion. If there is a massive outbreak of law and order in Indonesia, Ostraya will be completely swamped by Brown Peril.
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Enigmatic says:
But as a more sophisticated civilization, we Javanese have a duty, especially in Ramadan, to understand our crude brothers and sisters down south. (We will, of course, be ruling them one day).
That’s RIGHT Achmad, yes we shall rule those aussies
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Thanks Enigmatic. We will be ruling Aussie and introduce Pancasila course in their uni curriculum. I thought majority South East Asian Chinese brown-nosed Whiteys. I could be wrong.
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Aluang Anak Bayang Says:
September 11th, 2008 at 10:48 pm
Thanks Enigmatic. We will be ruling Aussie and introduce Pancasila course in their uni curriculum. I thought majority South East Asian Chinese brown-nosed Whiteys. I could be wrong.Sorry, don’t quite get the part in italics
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Andy says:
Aluang Anak Bayang Says: Thanks Enigmatic. We will be ruling Aussie and introduce Pancasila course in their uni curriculum.
No thank you AAB. You have confirmed in our minds the true extent to what your country wants to do. Now a small minority of aussies have this fear and place your mob right at the top of threats to our security. They are considered racist or xenophobic in the eyes of many but you seem to confirm that they are right.
But seriously, you wont get a chance to even teach your own grandchildren the pancasila as by that stage your own people will have turned against it preferring instead to follow sharia law being the good muslims you all are. The Sundanese, Banten province and North Sumatra have already voted for this democratically. Bring it on I say. I will sit and laugh when you become the region’s Iran. I can then tell my wife she made the right decision to move out of there and her family will be able to migrate as refugees .
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Andy-
you presume to think we’d ever consider you kampungan drones worthy of any choice in this.Not surprising Chinaman wants to run away as refugees- I told you it was your PR she was after. Next the family reunion scam.
Yellow belies do what yellow bellies do best- it’s in their nature, you see.You better start getting into shape so you can carry our sedan-chair litters at a gentle trot.
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How about if our Indo friends share a little of their culture with us down under.
I wonder how Aussies for example would warm to ‘extravaganza’. I mean the main star is a cross dressing homosexual. Perfect Indonesian role model I reckon. Then they can share some of their wonderful music like ‘Peter Pan’. Most tunes I found to be tedious pop songs with no rhythm or flair.
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Australians warmed to the Grand Old Dame, Edna Everage, didn’t they?
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janma says:
I always remember this one particular sketch from Graeme Kennedy, when I was a kid on the telly…. (love that straylaisms..) anyway, he was dressed up in a tutu as a fairy with a wand and everything, and he was staggering up to some suburban back door, with his tutu all torn and his wand broken and his hair all askew… he knocks, and when the housewife answers the door he says… “you know you really should do something about the bottom or your garden….”
but then again… maybe you had to be there… but I remember as a child spending an inordinate amount of time searching for fairies in the bottom of our garden….All the chinese bashing has also reminded me of something else funny and that’s the Monty Python song “I like Chinese’….. it’s humor at it’s celtic best…… hoo hoo!
Janma (humming)
“I like Chinese….. I like their tiny little trees….”
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Oigal says:
Daniel..Bule yes..Character correct..Oz ..NOPE
Yummy…Mmm concur expect besides the usual media rants why do you consider Howard and Downer racists, didn’t Australia have the largest refugee intake in the western world per capitia whilst they were runnign the show? Or are you talking about the detention centres for illegal immigrants? Possibly considered harsh but fairly sure not much in caning a la Malaysia or Singapore (and bizarre video strip searches).
Rudd speaks Chinese and thats about it, despite his reputation and portrayal in Indonesia, the reality is a net loss to Indonesia with the election of the Rudd government. Ask anybody in senior business circles or embassy circles Indonesia is falling rapidly off the radar (expect for nuisance value..sorry their words not mine) whilst China is the new home of the oz polly brown nose.
ALthough I will grant you Rudd does make a good impression of a number of Indonesian Ministers…lots a talk, lots promises but no substance..A fact that is causing an ever number growing number of AUstralians to wake up and say..ooops
I would also venture that racists and ignorance is not the preserve of the whoop-whoop folk, although their understanding of the world may be simpler than others..you are not in any real danger of running into the no-hoper neo nazi types out there…they tend to inhabit the city areas.
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AchmadSudarsono says:
Oigal,
Yes and Howard’s “Sheriff of the South Pacific Talk” was so popular up here. It was never really Downer & Howard who kept things on track, but rather a critical mass of smart policy makers on both sides. Smart enough to know to ignore the flamebaiters in the media. And maybe on the internet. : p
Janma,
Hi Again !
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@ Janma
All the chinese bashing has also reminded me of something else funny and that’s the Monty Python song “I like Chinese’….. it’s humor at it’s celtic best…… hoo hoo!
What Chinese bashing? They are deserving of it because they are most racist toward anyone with darker complexion than yellow.
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Aluang Anak Bayang Says:
September 12th, 2008 at 10:20 pm
@ JanmaAll the chinese bashing has also reminded me of something else funny and that’s the Monty Python song “I like Chinese’….. it’s humor at it’s celtic best…… hoo hoo!
What Chinese bashing? They are deserving of it because they are most racist toward anyone with darker complexion than yellow.
It’s pretty ironic that someone says the Chinese deserve the Chinese bashing for degrading others racially when he degrades others himself.
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Enigmatic…
Just plain sad! But as I have said AAB is a one trick pony so I would not be letting him get under my skin if I was you. You need to remember that AAB is pseudo-Indonesia! Even if by some miracle of chance he was to be able to prove he was Indonesian, then he is far from representative of the mainstream of Indonesian thought…
Good weekend to all.
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@ Enigmatic
The chief matron in my parents’ household is a Singaporean Chinese and she had been with our family for 2 generations. All my siblings had been brought up with her. I am a tiko who can understand and speak some mandarin, cantonese and hokkien. Although I am not as crude as PN by saying all Chinese are our number 1 enemy, you have to know I’ve seen and heard it all in my Indon Chinese friends’ home. Usually it is the older generation saying, “Why is a Hua Na in our home?”, and the kids (my friends) cutting the parents off because “this Hua Na is no ordinary Hua Na. He understand our language”. I believe this has changed with the younger Chinese generation as I don’t stumble across this faux pas as often as during my younger years. Accept it, the Chinese are extremely racist toward anyone with darker skin. Reconciliation between the Pris and the Chinese is only possible if both sides adknowledge their shortcomings.
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@ Rob,
Scroll up .. don’t you want to take my ‘Pepsi Challenge’.
Rob, get an Asian man, not yourself. Stand outside Central Station, Brisbane on a weekend. I can bet within 2 to 3 hours, some White punk (make no mistake, it is always the Anglo-Celtic variety) will say something nasty. Usually it is directly at Chinese like ‘Ching Chong Chinaman’ and some will squirm their eyes. Bule can’t tell the difference between Brown man, Indian or Chinaman.
I said ‘2 to 3 hours’, but if he is lucky, probably one racist Ocker will turn up within minutes. You seem to be oblivious to any racism going on in your backyard.
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AAB…
Perhaps you need to scroll up and have a bit of a look see. I am currently in your backyard (assuming of course you are who you say you are and that there is an AAB that inhabits this world). Am I prepared to take the Pepsi Challenge? I think I said something along the lines of next time I am in Australia I will do it and if it happens get the evidence of the chest beating and post it on my blog.
The key phrase here is “next time I am back in Australia”. Am I oblivious to racism in Australia? Hardly, pal! It is always interesting how you judge others without ever knowing anything about them and criticize people for doing the same thing to you. Sounds a little hypocritical to me, but that’s just me!
The person who is oblivious here is you. You seem to be oblivious to the racial hatred that you perpetuate through your nonsensical commentary. I would be surprised if you were even Indonesian. My guess is that you are in fact Australian and that is why you know so much about Brisbane and why you choose to use words like “pong”. At best you are a second generation Indonesian Australian. Your parents were born in Indonesia but you were born in (or migrated at a young age to) Australia. Your standard reply is likely to be something along the lines of why is that ostraylins cannot accept that the brown Indonesian man can write good English…as I said, you’re a one trick pony!
I am going to create myself an alter ego and then trawl the internet for an Indonesian looking photo to make my avatar and then I am going to post as an Indonesian into this forum. I might even just photograph some random bloke on the street and use tht photo.
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Go do a lil scrolling .. it is not that hard. It may surprise you I am not the only one saying that it exists.
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@ Rob
Do you also mean Abos speaking out against racism is nonsensical?
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AAB…
I have done all the scrolling I need to do!
I think if you re-read my previous comment Einstein, I said that I am not oblivious to racism in Australia. I know it exists, I have seen it first hand, I have worked in agencies designed to highlight it and end it. Perhaps if enough of us do our part then we can build critical mass and effect social change so that Australia can not only claim to be multi-cultural but be multi-cultural. In any event, the racists are in the minority. Yet it is the minority that give the whole a bad name. This is kind of like you pretending that you speak for all Indonesians.
[Hint…this is the opportunity for you to say something about the patronizing whitey, or the white man’s burden, or the whitey not being able to accept the equality of teh brown man, or whatever it is that is the flavour of the month]
While we’re on the racism thing. Racism is prevalent in Indonesian society, I have not only seen it, but have been victim of it.
I hardly think I need to be lectured by you on the subject. Yet, continue to do as you do, judge things that you have little or no knowledge of, it makes you look silly. You might be able to get under the skin of fellas like Andy who might actually believe that you are real and representative of something bigger than yourself. Unfortunately for you, you are one of those blokes who are a legend in their own lunch box!
Once again AAB, I am not oblivious to racism in Australia! And once again, you are a one-trick pony!
Enjoy your weekend…
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Abos? Now there is a term of racial neutrality!
Do you mean Aboriginals or Indigenous Australians? Dude, you really need to read my comments again.
Your comments are nonsensical, not the racism. Racism is a very serious matter. But you just do not seem to get it. Most of what you write is racist, a lot of it would run afoul of racial vilification laws in Australia.
The person with the problem here is you!
Once again, you prove the point that you are nothing but a one trick pony.
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Aluang Anak Bayang Says:
September 12th, 2008 at 11:42 pm
@ EnigmaticThe chief matron in my parents’ household is a Singaporean Chinese and she had been with our family for 2 generations. All my siblings had been brought up with her. I am a tiko who can understand and speak some mandarin, cantonese and hokkien. Although I am not as crude as PN by saying all Chinese are our number 1 enemy, you have to know I’ve seen and heard it all in my Indon Chinese friends’ home. Usually it is the older generation saying, “Why is a Hua Na in our home?”, and the kids (my friends) cutting the parents off because “this Hua Na is no ordinary Hua Na. He understand our language”. I believe this has changed with the younger Chinese generation as I don’t stumble across this faux pas as often as during my younger years. Accept it, the Chinese are extremely racist toward anyone with darker skin. Reconciliation between the Pris and the Chinese is only possible if both sides adknowledge their shortcomings.
Personally I have nothing against Pribumis, maybe because I was (thankfully) not affected directly by the 13 May riots. And I dare say that I’m not a racist. Perhaps you consider me an exception among the many Chinese you’ve encountered if you think I’m no racist to begin with. But regarding the reconciliation part, I’m trying it myself, although I know it’s really near impossible given the longstanding animosity.
Rob Says:
September 12th, 2008 at 11:30 pm
Enigmatic…Just plain sad! But as I have said AAB is a one trick pony so I would not be letting him get under my skin if I was you. You need to remember that AAB is pseudo-Indonesia! Even if by some miracle of chance he was to be able to prove he was Indonesian, then he is far from representative of the mainstream of Indonesian thought…
Good weekend to all.
I just hope you’re right on the last point and that certain people here are just exceptions.
Good weekend to you too. and all.
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Dear All…
One of the sentences in an early comment should read “pseudo-Indonesian” and not “pseudo-Indonesia”…my apologies for the typo!
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Rob- tsk, tsk tsk.
Pak Akmad and Pak AAB- you confuse Gagah with Kasar.
Additionally, methodology kasaran is necessary when dealing with the kasar.
But it is incontrovertible the fifth columnist resident Chinese, as our brilliant Pak Menteri Sudarsono will agree- are THE primary Enemy.
They have no loyalty but to rapacious yet self-destructive greedTrue the Chiense are the most dreadful racist of all:
“one white covers a hundred defects” and all that tripe.
Northern Chinese hate brown Southern Chinese, and Manchu are considereed the most beuatiful. Why- pale like whitey. -
AAB-Accept it, the Chinese are extremely racist toward anyone with darker skin. Reconciliation between the Pris and the Chinese is only possible if both sides adknowledge their shortcomings.
All this while AAB, Purba, assmad and co continue to spew racist venom at all and sundry on this forum. No you guys aren’t racist at all, are you? Just like Indonesia is a beacon of human rights in the region. I can’t stop writing as I write this. You guys crack me up so much.
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@ Rob
ho ho ho .. few postings before, you talked as if racism is non-existence in your ill-gotten land. Didn’t you say you have not seen or heard of it? When challenged, dismissing someone as pseudo-Indon so you can stealth away like a snake. Big boy, how convenient, er.
The by-products of former convicts can’t stand Brown men who still run their own ancestral country. And surprise surprise, they read and write too. Aren’t they suppose to belong to reserve like the Abos? Despite you berating Andy had lost it; personally I think he is a tad more intelligent than you. By being trashed around intellectually, I believe he is learning more of our great culture.
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Hey Andy,
At least I talk about picking up chicks in malls, write tributes to Kevin Bloody Wilson, and talk about UFOs, man.
I just want everyone to be Seksi !
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AAB…
Having said I have not seen it is not saying that it does not exist. The racism that I have not seen is the chest beating white boys. Have I seen folks calling other folks names, yes.
Your powers of understanding my comments and then interpreting leave a little to be desired, big boy! I once new an Indonesian who used the phrase big boy. I hope you are not he.
I have been dismissing you as pseudo-Indonesian for much longer than this debate on race. When challenged? Read again my comments, Big Boy, and you will see that I neither ducked nor did I weave. Instead I rose to your little pepsi challenge and indicated that the next time I was in Australia I would make a point of paying closer attention and trying to get images and recordings of the things you say.
Really, big boy, you still run your own country? What exactly is it that you run? I would have thought and judging by your posts Indonesian was run by Chinese Indonesians under the auspices of an interfering west. Which is so obviously not true, but whatever gets you going. It seems though that you also own the ancestral countries of the Papuans, the Acehnese, and others. I guess that is an argument for another post though.
None of my posts suggest that the brown man should be put on a reservation. You are attributing things to me that I have never said. It is funny in that perverse kind of a way that you think your insults bother me. Water of a duck’s back.
I do not know Andy. So, perhaps the fella is smarter than I am. I would have to add that I hardly call your insults of him an intellectual trashing. You are over-estimating yourself by a long way on that front. I doubt whether Andy is in fact learning anything at all from you other than reinforcing the beliefs that he already holds. You, big boy, are doing a great disservice to your country by perpetuating the stereotype that Andy holds. I hope Andy is not learning anything from you about Indonesia other than the fact that fools inhabit all countries throughout the world.
You are not representative of the vast majority of Indonesians and it sad that people have allowed themselves to be convinced that you are. I don’t know that I have berated Andy. I think that his views are wrong in that not all Indonesians are bad or evil. I think he is wrong to equate you, your ramblings, your racism, and your hatred as being representative of the whole. I do, however, feel that he has the right to express his opinions even if I disagree with them. You on the other hand tend to use insults rather than argument to avoid putting anything substantive or factual into play. The best you can come up with is the anecdotal and some personal experiences which are then transformed into god-given facts of life.
You are a one trick pony!
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Mbak Yummymummy, Thanks for confirming what I’ve said.
Rob, get an Asian man, not yourself. Stand outside Central Station, Brisbane on a weekend. I can bet within 2 to 3 hours, some White punk (make no mistake, it is always the Anglo-Celtic variety) will say something nasty. Usually it is directly at Chinese like ‘Ching Chong Chinaman’ and some will squirm their eyes. Bule can’t tell the difference between Brown man, Indian or Chinaman.
Other incidents: Eventhough I visited Ostraya frequently, it is usually a few days to few weeks but within a short span, I do experience racial taunts. New Year eve 2007, at Macca Milton (near XXXX, if you live in Brisbane, you know where that is) with my Wife and my 3 kids, some yobbos threw a bottle of soft drink thrown at my children. Only few week ago, while waiting to cross at intersection (Edward and Adelaide) with a 3 others Indon friends, a punk beat his chest and yell “White Power! go back to China”.
@ DXP
If you have been in Australia, you should know that most of the racial taunt are directed at Chinese, Viets and Japs. I know Viets, Japs, Indians and Brown men unite as Asians; it is always the China men who live in denial – love to be slapped by Whiteys and still lick their fingers. Tell me if I am wrong because you seems to be one China man I described.