Having inherited multiethnic bloodstream from my parents, I grew up fascinated by culture, languages and existing diversity in humanity. I have always thought of cultural differences as the spices of the world; however I’m quite aware that often the lack of understanding of these differences is often the root of conflict. I have lived in around three countries, with different cultures and gained a lot of experience when it comes to adapting and interacting with other cultural groups. Since childhood, perhaps influenced by my parents, I developed a great sense of respect for life and a great awareness of cultural and social context. I believe in the good side of people and I’m often confused with being naïve or unaware when I interact with others. I have a strong believe in the ability of true love to transcend cultural barriers.
Not long time ago, I had to unique experience of visiting Indonesia and experiencing the beauty of the nature there and its saturated culture. I was fascinated and my interest in Indonesian culture increased a lot. Before visiting Indonesia, I had read books and watched documentaries about it, to be somehow prepared for the cultural experiences; as the trip objective was to get to know the culture well enough. My friends and I tried to avoid as much as possible places saturated with tourists, however this was often practically impossible, especially in Bali. Nonetheless our experience was gratifying and we met many good people and enjoy the greatest hospitality. My fascination for Indonesia reached its pinnacle after meeting a girl. She was kind, simple and so easy to talk to, despite language limitations. It did not take long for me to develop feelings for her and my departure from Indonesia was sad. Today, I communicate with her about every day and I would like for us to be together.
However, I’m aware that at the moment my feelings could be blinding me and I’m willingly dismissing the cultural barriers that exist between us. I have no interest in volatile affairs, as by experience they don’t often end so well. I am and will always be an admirer of true love and will avoid by all means a relationship that lacks it. Few days ago I accidentally stumbled into this site, while looking for information about Indonesia courtship culture. I was a bit surprised about how many of the posts here depicted foreigners as low class individuals searching for wives in poor countries and that many Indonesian did not view foreigners with good eyes. I’m aware to some extent of this issue, but what surprised me was the facility of many of the people commenting to make generalizations. I would please, love very so much to get some help to understand, through your comments, the way Indonesians view foreigners and to get a sense of how big of a problem can the cultural barriers be when it comes to forming a couple, or marital life, with Indonesians. If it helps I’m 28 years old, university student (not anthropology), lived most of my life in South America; however I have also lived in Eastern and Western Europe. I do not belong to any religion, as my parents decided that I needed to make that decision by myself as an adult and I don’t think I need to adhere myself to any religion. I do however believe in what some people might call God, so I’m not an atheist. I’m strongly influenced by Hindu mystics, and their view of reality; however as I said before, I do not practice any religion. I do not smoke, do not drink and I’m vegetarian. Please, I would really appreciate all comments. Thank you beforehand. Romi.
@ apollo23
that’s a nobillity lineage names…prominent one…there are other but the rest was not stands out much
OK… firstly, let roll on dowry first…. well, there are three prominent tribes/clans in south sulawesi which’s bugis, buton and makassar ( BBM ) although is not writen but they do set the benchmark for the rest of island aside from the manado’s off course. …especially bugis clans they are the proudest ( in good sense ) of all…. so if she’s a bugis…. well you’re on the highest you could attain.. normaly bugis were rational people…but,since you an expat .standards do go higher but, do not worry. dowry is always negotiable… most of the parents will always concerning on housing first…so you do has a house be on mortgage…or loan. ..you do could get by a dowry of ” praying kit and matresess “…. it’s all just a psychologicall issues.
and now for the biggest of all…. conversion
damn i hate talking about this… well bro, conversion is ain’t no small issue in islamic community regardless the clans n tribes nor nationality.. we are all moslem before allah. so please take a good deep tought before you do. there are no forcing in islam but there are codes and laws he have to obey if we embrace it….. n i do agree with her if you want to convert then convert on your owsn terms not on just a simply a materialistic wordly lust ( sorry ).
but then again… worlds and will weren’t always on god terms right? ? sometimes all we could do is wish…. allow me to say this bro…. if you are still on doubts better leave on now… don’t even think about take her along ’cause if you do… not just it is a crime… you just make her banished and shone by her own society… do you really could ever picture that happen on her?? not to mention “siri” will be brought upon you two .
what i could offer to you now is…. a suggestion : why don’t you two stop seeing each other for now ( relax … i do believe in power of love ) chill’s out.. give yourself some rooms for thought… if it allah wished it…hell, you could married for free as muallaf
Copyright Indonesia Matters 2006-2025
Privacy Policy | Terms of Use | Contact
hallo apollo23…. happened to be round the web then stumbled upon your thread i couldn’t wait to comment on your situation. ..but before that.
let me ask something first…. what’s her first name. ….is she using Andi or Daeng or Karaeng before the surname. if it’s not…then it is easier to work something out of it…
i’m writing this on cell…. hop
ely by the time i reach home i could see your reply