How to Get a Bule Man
Apr 14th, 2008, in Society, by PatungA new book giving advice to Indonesian women on how to find an expat man, How to Catch Mr Bule.
Published by Gramedia Pustaka Utama and written by one Erlinawati How to Catch Mr Bule provides tips and advice for Indonesian women on how to snare a foreign man for romance and likely marriage, and how to manage the relationship.
How to Catch Mr Bule.
The book discusses important questions such as:
- Are foreign men more caring and loving than Indonesian men?
- Is it true foreign men know best how to keep a woman happy?
- Or are bules just looking for a bit of fun, or as blogger Indcoup once put it in the four “F”‘s – “find, feel, f…, forget”?
- Do foreign men like Asian women because they think of them as demure, while western women are too forthright and independent?
- What special problems face local women dating a foreign man?
The weird habits of bule men are pointed out as a warning to Indonesian women, such as
- they like dogs
- they sleep with the lights off
- they like to cook for themselves
These small matters could later blow up into big problems and ruin the relationship, it is said. However the main advice seems to be to avoid stereotypes and keep your eyes open.
Available at the bargain price of 25,000 rupiah.
410 Comments on “How to Get a Bule Man”
-
MbakAditya says:
Achmad Sudarsono Says:
May 25th, 2008 at 4:32 pm
Adit,Sorry Sayang, the screaming hordes at Jl. Blora tore it from my sweaty torso after I performed “sunatan massal” by Iwan Fals unplugged…
This is getting weird.
Don’t give me that old waffle, you can’t sing for toffee, and if you did it would be old Khymer songs.
-
Achmad Sudarsono says:
Sorry ‘Dit — I’m with Timdog on this — or maybe I’m not — or maybe back to the original statement — this is getting very, very weird…
-
Like timdog, the denial is not all that convincing… 😀
It is all very weird indeed, but since when has the Internet and discussion forums like this one been short on the weird? No pun intended with regards to the 4’7″ and 5’1″ posters to this thread and the short on weird comment!
-
Lord you pair are slow on the uptake – are you english teacher’s perchance? Shouldn’t you be fiddling with the students rather than posting on Indonesia matters?
There are more than enough clues posted for you to work it out.
Ask Achmad if he was in Probo during krismon, if he was burning the tarmac on the way to the airport, or if he was knocking up an aubergine kebab for Pol Pot.
-
‘Dit…
this is one of those Freudian things where you transfer these insinuations to another, right? Meaning that you are in fact the English teacher!
Maybe there are enough hints, maybe there’s not, who really cares. Knowing the true identity of Achmad is not going to be a highlight of my life. I am relatively new to this forum, although not an excuse, and my theorizing about who Achmad really is is mainly for fun.
In the big scheme of things it does not matter. This is the beauty of the Internet it affords you a degree of anonymity if you want it. Both you and Achmad seem to want it!
An aside…not an English teacher but Managing Editor (lousy typer and speller) of a publisher…
Have a nice week!
-
Hi Rob — where are you a Managing Editor ? You might have published one of my anthologies of poetry.
Here is one, called simply “Friend,” it examines the hope people in new countries place on search for political freedom as an answer to the alienation of modern urban life.
Oh ! My Friend,
Please, if are to be the Fres One
IFriend, I think better you are study the Pancasila,
To be the True Indonesian.
Is Oke ?
Is Oke, my Friend, -
dewaratugedeanom says:
Patrick
Are you saying that the (Indonesian) wife’s family interest is the priority in the marriage over and above her husband? If so, than this is completely opposite of western thought in a marriage. Our culture places the new marriage bond above your mother and father and your brothers and sisters.
Sorry for my late reply; something urgent came up.
What you call the Western thought in marriage is still fairly new and didn’t exist in earlier times when ‘social security’ as it is known now still had to be invented and people had to depend on their extended families in difficult times. When a marriage failed it was generally the women who suffered the most in terms of economic independence and prospects of a decent living. The only instance they could turn to was the family they were born in. In those days people only married for a ‘reason’. Of course romantic love has always existed but it wasn’t until the 19th century when industrialization and modernization of the rural societies took off that it began to be considered a basis for a (happy) marriage because people became less dependent on their extended families. But the question still remains if even now it is a solid basis for an enduring relationship.
Indonesia (and other places too) still haven’t gone through the same process that shaped the mindset of Westerners. Hence the puzzlement you seem to experience comparing the two cultures in terms of marriage.
-
You don’t have wo worry about the late reply, for the mostpart what you post is tosh anyhow.
Actually most Indo Expat marriages fail as a result of the unusual sexual preferences of some bules. I recal Achmad getting quite excited about juicing up whatever that is.
-
MbakAditya
Well, as a little Javanese girl I do feel that I do have some rights to comment. In the next breath I would admit that I can understand why some foreign guests are intimidated by us Javanese, especially the one’s with a little education.
little Javanese girl with little education tries to prove herself by big mouthing. Typical case of overcompensation for inferiority syndrome..
-
Perhaps you would care to take a stroll around Bromo when you can make your views clear, you may well find that your assessment of the situation is somewhat flawed.
-
Patrick says:
dewaratugedeanom Says:
What you call the Western thought in marriage is still fairly new and didn’t exist in earlier times when ‘social security’ as it is known now still had to be invented and people had to depend on their extended families in difficult times.dewaratugedeanom – Actually, western thought about marriage has evolved much longer than 2 centuries or so that you claim. Marriage responsibilities have existed from the bible for thousands of years.
Genesis 2:24 “That is why a man leaves his father & mother and clings to his wife and the 2 of them become one body.
Genesis is the oldest book in the bible and the above quote refers to God placing Adam in a deep sleep and then taking his rib to create Eve the 1st woman. Since Adam and Eve are the first humans created the I guess western thought on marriage goes back to that time. Romance and love are not a post industrial invention as you said but can be found in Ephesians 5:21 – 24 partial quote “He who loves his wife loves himself”
Again the idea that love is most important in a marriage and that no bond is stronger than that of a husband and wife.
-
Jees Patrick, you can’t half rattle on.
-
‘Dit…
So, was the ‘Dit and Achmad relationship one of the Dewaratugedeanom kind or the Patrick kind?
Feel free to rattle on 😀
-
MbakAditya – Would you prefer the full rattle? :>)
-
Rob Says:
May 28th, 2008 at 1:32 pm
‘Dit…So, was the ‘Dit and Achmad relationship one of the Dewaratugedeanom kind or the Patrick kind?
Feel free to rattle on
More of the Beirut on a friday night kind of a relationship.
-
‘Dit…
That would be a Friday night back in the day where the nightly fireworks display consisted of tracer bullets, flares, and mortars, right? I have heard that Beirut has been relatively tame of late in comparison!
-
MbakAditya said
Actually most Indo Expat marriages fail as a result of the unusual sexual preferences of some bules.
Like I said before, typical case of gender and racial based, overcompensated inferiority complex, probably complicated by latent penis envy and triggered by post traumatic stress disorder resulting from a marital or relational break-up.
Unusual sexual preferences of some bules… Care to elaborate?
-
MbakAditya said
Actually most Indo Expat marriages fail as a result of the unusual sexual preferences of some bules.
Wow! Those poor little Indonesians wives only discovering their bule husband’s unusual sexual preferences on their wedding night and only after giving away their most prized possession, their virginity. Reminds me of the Madonna song “Like a Virgin..Touched for the very first time”.
The problem with an artist painting with a very broad brush is the tendency to produce a distorted picture that leaves the viewer more puzzled and bewildered than satisfied. One only have to look around Jakarta to discover that the Indonesian people need no lessons in sexual perversity from bules as at least some of the population have mastered that on their own.
-
timdog says:
Dewa, Patrick – I wouldn’t worry too much about the things MbakAditya says – I’m given to suspect that she ain’t little, she ain’t Javanese, hell! I’m not even sure that she’s a girl…
Dit – I’d noticed the Khymer references in your glorious encounters with Achmad, but I’m really not that fussed about working it out; in fact I’ve rather grown accustomed to and fond of the idea of a ukelele-playing Javanese midget from Purbolinggo – it is the true identity of your good self that intrigues me now…
-
Janma says:
Mbak Aditya, you want some dip to go with that chip on your shoulder sweetcheeks?
-
Farah says:
guess i went too long, this thread quite interesting now…
Actually most Indo Expat marriages fail as a result of the unusual sexual preferences of some bules.
Mbak Adit… unusual sexual preference.. means ? i am not pretending to be clueless… but i don’t understand.. i think what ever their (expats) sexual preference is the “type” of sexual preference for locals also (??) .. which preference is that that made their marriage fail ??
-
Farah Says:
May 29th, 2008 at 3:02 pm
guess i went too long, this thread quite interesting now…Actually most Indo Expat marriages fail as a result of the unusual sexual preferences of some bules.
Mbak Adit… unusual sexual preference.. means ? i am not pretending to be clueless… but i don’t understand.. i think what ever their (expats) sexual preference is the “type” of sexual preference for locals also (??) .. which preference is that that made their marriage fail ??
You don’t know? The i’m not going to tell you, suffice to say that when you walk looking like you have just got off a horse and can’t look at a ketimun without having a twinge then you will get some idea what I mean.
Janma – I’ll answer your question when you confirm if your are WNI and from where.
Paddy – I can only assume that you have been hawking it around Blok M too much. Most Indonesian girls just aren’t like that.
Timdog, I can assure you that I am a good deal more interesting than the poison dwarf.
-
Lairedion says:
suffice to say that when you walk looking like you have just got off a horse
Seems your tiny little pussy is way too small for average sized bule dicks….
-
You don’t know? The i’m not going to tell you, suffice to say that when you walk looking like you have just got off a horse and can’t look at a ketimun without having a twinge then you will get some idea what I mean.
so.. you are saying.. expats like indonesian woman because they were “small”??? i thought you were going to say something more like some of them like younger girls.. well i think if its about the small thing i don’t think you were right.
Sorry..
Lots of indonesian woman married with bule are tall. And..i think there were less short indonesia woman these days especially the one that born at year 1970-1980.
Btw i am 173 cms tall… my shortest sister are 156 cms. And originally indonesian.
Maudy koesnady tal too… and she had expat husband, so does Titi Dj (used to), and some other indonesian woman.And i don’t think thats unusual preference…. cause thats why indonesian have galian rapet toohh?? 100% original indonesian remedy… or jamu hehehehe
-
Hi Farah – I just got me you!
-
Hi Farah, good to see you back. How are your pool billiard sessions doing? 🙂
-
Patrick
Romance and love are not a post industrial invention as you said but can be found in Ephesians 5:21 – 24 partial quote “He who loves his wife loves himself”
In my comment I said
Of course romantic love has always existed but it wasn’t until the 19th century when industrialization and modernization of the rural societies took off that it began to be considered a basis for a (happy) marriage because people became less dependent on their extended families.
Love and marriage are 2 separate things but not always mutually exclusive.
-
strong>dewaratugedeanom says:
Of course romantic love has always existed but it wasn’t until the 19th century …..Dude you are hopelessly stuck in the 19th century with an extreme case of tunnel-vision. Please do some research and if you want read those bible passages completely that I quoted & also see passages from the Book of Songs. Romantic love was always considered important to maintaining a Happy marriage in the Judeo-Christian (note Christian here includes Catholics) tradition of Western culture. What I think what you are really referring to is courtship and how & why we choose marriage partners changed around the 19th century? If so, then I would agree the with you along those lines.
My original question is below and I would like to see more Indonesians answer this:
Are you saying that the (Indonesian) wife’s family interest is the priority in the marriage over and above her husband? If so, than this is completely opposite of western thought in a marriage. Our culture places the new marriage bond above your mother and father and your brothers and sisters.
I -
Patrick said:
Our culture places the new marriage bond above your mother and father and your brothers and sisters.
Does it? Always? “Our culture”? Who exactly are “We”?
If you’re an Italian Mafioso, or for that matter from an old Cornish farming family that’s not necessarily the case, not by any means…
Careful with those generalisations again Patrick…
Comment on “How to Get a Bule Man”.
Copyright Indonesia Matters 2006-2023
Privacy Policy | Terms of Use | Contact
Let me assure you that Mbak ‘Dit is not Achmad.
Next guess?