How to Get a Bule Man

Apr 14th, 2008, in Society, by

A new book giving advice to Indonesian women on how to find an expat man, How to Catch Mr Bule.

Published by Gramedia Pustaka Utama and written by one Erlinawati How to Catch Mr Bule provides tips and advice for Indonesian women on how to snare a foreign man for romance and likely marriage, and how to manage the relationship.

How to Catch Mr Bule.

The book discusses important questions such as:

  • Are foreign men more caring and loving than Indonesian men?
  • Is it true foreign men know best how to keep a woman happy?
  • Or are bules just looking for a bit of fun, or as blogger Indcoup once put it in the four “F”‘s – “find, feel, f…, forget”?
  • Do foreign men like Asian women because they think of them as demure, while western women are too forthright and independent?
  • What special problems face local women dating a foreign man?

The weird habits of bule men are pointed out as a warning to Indonesian women, such as

  • they like dogs
  • they sleep with the lights off
  • they like to cook for themselves

These small matters could later blow up into big problems and ruin the relationship, it is said. However the main advice seems to be to avoid stereotypes and keep your eyes open.

Available at the bargain price of 25,000 rupiah.

410 Comments on “How to Get a Bule Man”

  1. Cantika says:

    loooool 😀
    Indonesians men still have a good performance than “Bule”….
    I think whose wrote the book is desperate person….
    loooooooooooool :D:D

  2. Anonymous girl says:

    “How to get a bule man”.. Interesting title, something I would probably like to read about for fun.

    But after a long while, I realize that it’s actually not the Indonesian women having the difficulty to attract white men. I don’t think you should spend your time trying so hard to fit in to people who were the ones who actually spent their bloody money to travel into YOUR country. I actually believe that Indonesian women were naturally born with great talents, exotic complexions, and so many other positive assets that they probably don’t realize until now.

    I was raised in a multicultural background, my dad is an Indonesian publisher, speaks very fluent Javanese and knows a lot about his culture whereas my mom is Chinese-Indonesian, she teaches English Literature and is a feminist activist. I learned so much from that woman. When I still lived with her, she told me that to get a bule man is just the same law as getting any other men. You gotta held your head up high, and play hard-to-get. I basically don’t wanna spend my time going to little pubs in Kemang, sitting down waiting for a Western guy to show up next to me. That’s probably the cheapest and stupidest ways to get them, and even if you merely want a one night stand, trust me, the guy’s gotta have a positive drive, or all you’ll get is bad kamasutra. Whoops! (I strive for quality sex, sorry boys)

    I think the main focus this time is for these women to feel content in themselves, having strong self-esteem and a positive aura to attract others. The main problem in us Indonesian women, is we often have lack of confidence. Sometimes we feel to be an attractive woman, we need to feel that we can attract Western men and to adapt into their perspectives than for them to actually come to you and say “Hi, I like you can we go out?” So many of us just get so brainwashed by the media, knowing there’s Twilight, Edward Cullen the “hottest” guy in the world for most teenage girls, or whatever the crap. To me, buying into them is bullshit. If getting brainwashed by the media is crap enough already, let alone to feel that you are less better than it.

    I’ve gone to International schools during my high school times before moving to Australia and yes I know where they usually hang out after school, or for 18+ cases the clubs in Kemang, sports clubs, or sometimes Citos. There was a guy named Jack, a young man playing Alternative rock music, Jesus I was just sooo into him. We went to a club together, talked about the things we liked while ordering a few glasses of champagne, danced until midnight and it turned out he was just a bloody backpacker only looking for girls to hook up with. Damn, he left me to 3 other girls in that same place. I left home crying, feeling worthless like no one wanted me. The same things happened several times as I tried to fit into perspectives of the Bules, trying to look good for them, trying to agree with whatever they’re saying and after a year of graduation I find that one of the worst things to do EVER.

    Then I went to Australia, the same vibe I felt for the Westerners. Thinking that they were the most intellectual people to hang around with, the most handsome, blablabla blame it on the brainwashing TV shows. Then I suddenly get used to it. Don’t know why I wasn’t so much of a white fetish anymore. I met a Swedish guy on MySpace, me and him had been friends for 2 years, I never showed any feelings of interest and all I ever did with him was communicate about culture, different perspectives, philosophies and our most favorite thing: Music. Trust me, we were just friends. We were really good friends until we started falling in love, and it all happened naturally. Because I was just being myself, wasn’t trying too hard, and the best part is that he likes me because I have different values to him. I showed how Indonesian culture was like, took him around to see Jakarta and Bali when we decided to finally meet and I went to Indonesia for a vacation to see my family. He was sweet, loved me for who I am, didn’t care if I was pale or tan, rich or poor, or whatever the crap. And now what’s likely to happen to me is those Western guys wanting to know more about MY culture instead of me trying too hard for them. I realize that THEY are the ones attracted, not me. I’m just sitting here, being myself. Don’t give a damn shit about whether you like me or not.. 😛

    So there you go. I think reading this book would still be beneficial, to know more about the things I didn’t know about bule men. But one thing all women should remember is, don’t rely on this book to make you feel you could get a Bule. I still play the old game. I’m a prize, and the boys have to strive all the way to get me. If you came to Indonesia to learn about OUR culture, you gotta f*cking come to US. Let’s learn to make ourselves more attractive instead of more LIKE them.

    And for those sleazy backpackers, I say GROW SOME BALLS. We may be beautiful, but we’re not your facilities.


  3. Dewi Kurniawati says:


    i’m 24 years old single woman n looking for a bule man, there is anyone can introduce to me???
    i loved bule guy 😉

  4. nobody says:

    dewi, for God’s sakes, stick to the local guy. I beg you. If you are serious about wanting a good family. Kalau local guy, bisa diketahui jelas asal usulnya.. bagaimana keluarganya, bagaimana agamanya.. tingkah lakunya.. as for bule guy, you can only believe their own words. There are nice bule guys, but I doubt you can find them in bars or websites.

  5. nobody says:

    anonymous girl, why do you even think you have to be able to attract bule guy is beyond me.I mean, here you are talking about strategy to attract some random guy only because they are “bule”. If in the process of looking for a “good guy” you got a “good bule guy”, then maybe it is ok. But to start from the beginning by limiting your choice to only “bule guy” is just beyond me. It will only lead you to gradually lower your standard of “good guy” until it fit the (best?) bule you can find.

  6. Dewi Kurniawati says:

    @nobody says
    of course i’m looking for a good bule guy, although it sounds little crazy that why i’m looking for it, it’s my desire hope you can understand.,

  7. Anonymous girl says:

    @Nobody: Actually, I wasn’t intending on giving strategies on how to get a bule guy. What I meant to say the whole time, is that you don’t have to ‘learn’ to get bule men, you actually just need to be natural and let them find you. Like, what happened with my relationship with a guy from Sweden, I really didn’t do anything to please him whatsoever.

    And besides, it’s not the race that matters. It’s the personality. Especially if you’re meeting those who went all the way from another side of the world to your country, it’s better to learn how to develop yourself and build your self-esteem than to go around and try getting their attention. It’s THEM who has to learn OUR culture..

  8. malika says:

    Hello everyone I’m new here 🙂 I agree with nobody, I myself experience how complicated it is to find a (good) bule man. If you want to get just any bule then it will be easy, but to get a real good one, then it is difficult.

  9. bonni says:

    Where can I get this book? Is it still sold out there? Priceless!! For crying out loud lol

  10. Jim says:

    indon women are mostly don’t look that good, bad teeth, short and also of muslim background. Muslims can’t eat hams.
    I don’t know how you men think they are good for wives.

  11. oigal says:

    So you are looking for Fat, Christian women who like pigs then Jim? I am sure most Indonesian Women are happy to hear that. Have you tried the Dating Kentucky Hillybillys site. I hear it’s good but mostly in picture format.

  12. imelt says:

    I think it’s sad how this book happen, looks like they are really something not human ( the bule ),…:D i dated a french guy before,..he’s just the same like other men ( indonesian i dated ) i think Indonesian guys take care more then the woman although with their low income. But it’s a funny book i guess…anyways sometimes people who came from other countries are more interesting because basically we can learn new things that’s all. And i think having a bule boyfriend means more dicipline and i dont know what else they expect. Indonesian men fear their girlfriend LOL

  13. imelt says:

    Not all Indonesian woman are muslim. NOTED

  14. imelt says:

    and im new by the way,. 😀 i’m a pork eating girl,…and on a diet 😀 have a great day!

  15. Zaqqwer says:

    I am an Indonesian woman and only can sleep when dark. And all my Indonesian women friends will only can sleep when dark. But my maids dont!

  16. Borat says:

    Another of Mr Graham’s Crooked schemes in the name of his wife:

    Cheap labor, anyone?

  17. Thor says:

    I wonder why on Earth this NZ company wants to recruit foreign workers when there’s already plenty of immigrants in the country to chose from ?

  18. redno says:

    hello, i already try to find this book in gramedia, but it’s already out of stock! did anyone want to share to me?? by the way i like western,,,,love them so much! -cheers-

  19. Tommy says:

    Good point, Thor

    Because they keep quiet and accept low pay.

    Puts Mr Graham’s moralizing in a new light somewhat. I’m glad people seem to be waking up to him.

  20. Umi says:

    Is it true all bule men have bigger? I have only Neen with one and I worry I can’t go back now 🙁

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