How to Get a Bule Man

Apr 14th, 2008, in Society, by

A new book giving advice to Indonesian women on how to find an expat man, How to Catch Mr Bule.

Published by Gramedia Pustaka Utama and written by one Erlinawati How to Catch Mr Bule provides tips and advice for Indonesian women on how to snare a foreign man for romance and likely marriage, and how to manage the relationship.

How to Catch Mr Bule.

The book discusses important questions such as:

  • Are foreign men more caring and loving than Indonesian men?
  • Is it true foreign men know best how to keep a woman happy?
  • Or are bules just looking for a bit of fun, or as blogger Indcoup once put it in the four “F”‘s – “find, feel, f…, forget”?
  • Do foreign men like Asian women because they think of them as demure, while western women are too forthright and independent?
  • What special problems face local women dating a foreign man?

The weird habits of bule men are pointed out as a warning to Indonesian women, such as

  • they like dogs
  • they sleep with the lights off
  • they like to cook for themselves

These small matters could later blow up into big problems and ruin the relationship, it is said. However the main advice seems to be to avoid stereotypes and keep your eyes open.

Available at the bargain price of 25,000 rupiah.

410 Comments on “How to Get a Bule Man”

  1. sobhana says:

    pingin ke London…pingin ke Sydney…pingin ke Madagaskar

    gimana ya caranya? ntar pas R&R deh dibagi jatah waktunya skalian cuti gitu

    jangan ke Singapore lagi ah, giliran kali ni ke Tibet aja atau maybe Cambodia (ntar kan bisa ke laos)

    ikutnya dong?!

    Begitu pernah ada percakapan dengan seorang kolega yang kini sudah ciao dari organisasi dan denger-denger sudah ikut training ke Jerman. Begitulah the social life you get to lead when working at an International NGO (if you decide to have one at all)…harus tabah aja dengan pergantian teman/pasangan atas dasar lamanya kontrak. It could be 6 months, 4 months, 6 weeks, oh do they they come and go. Bisa-bisa suddenly doi ditarik lagi ke Ostrali, misalnya…tanpa ada kepastian kapan dia akan kembali. Nyusul deh sana kalo serius. But I must admit, all these fun-loving jet set hook ups can be quite exhausting mentally and spiritually.

    In the case of emergency sex, just imagine…if say, you stay with one partner for 4-6 months at a time, for the length of your one-year contract period…that’s 2-3 partners altogether. And like, when one of them had just recently finished being posted somewhere in Africa?! you definitely want to be safe!

    All I’m saying is, jika kamu pede-pede aja menjalani hubungan bilateral seperti itu, that’s great…as long as jantung & heart kamu kuat untuk menyesuaikan diri dengan perubahan-perubahan yang begitu extreme di sekeliling kamu, khususnya yang berkaitan dengan masalah hati (heart), kalo sport jantung si awesome-awesome aja. When there are no expectations, expect nothing. Trust me, this is as good as it gets.

  2. sobhana says:

    Never felt so fcked before in my life, but then when i realized i had then just woke up:

    Sunday morning, September 2005

    Somewhere deep within the jungles of Sumatra

    So farewell for now love

    I’m already long gone

    but you work for the people

    and our love will go on

    I think we deserve it

    I think God’s on our side

    He’s gonna forgive me

    for the fact that I lied

    Promised to be faithful

    in a Muslim world

    But fell headlong in love girl

    The truth has unfurled

    Its winds gonna blow us

    up ‘gainst the tide

    On soft banks it will land us

    Our hands will be tied

    In matrimony be wedded

    Mother-nature our guide

    It is the age of Aquarius

    Yes ‘tis is our time

  3. Swagman says:

    This thread needs re-opening:)

    Where did Rosebud Says: go? She was making a lot of sense last year.

    Are you feeling better sobhana ?

  4. Leo says:

    “Indonesians are horrible when it comes to interacting with foreigners. They are so awkward and obnoxious or just downright embarrassing.”

    Yes, omg you are so right (!)

  5. Nay says:

    Trust me, the Japanese are a LOT worse!

  6. dewi says:

    How to get a bule men ?? You don’t have to do anything, even a female Orangutan with makeup and short skirt will be very attractive to them!

    I don’t know why but my feeling as an Indonesian girl is that bule men are too easy to get.

    Joking aside, just put make up on random Indonesian transvestite in taman lawang and send h(er/im) to western countries, (s/he) will be surrounded by tons of bule men.. this is serious and ever happened.

    They are the cheapest and the most desperate guys I’ve ever seen.

    But too easy to get is a turn off for woman..

  7. Nay says:

    Depends what you mean by “get”, Dewi.

    If you mean “have sex with”… if the man wasn’t easy for that, chances are he’s not a real man.
    If you mean “keep him in your life”, that’s simple. Be a good friend to us, and don’t be a huge bitch.

    Think about it from our point of view.

    Women are the ones that decide if sex happens or not… NOT MEN… and since you are all fickle, highly judgmental, and your emotions change so often, and you chop and change men so much as if we are all replaceable nuts and bolts because YOU CAN…

    …THEN men will just go out for what WE want and IGNORE what you want because it’s likely to change at a moments notice anyway, and you really don’t care about us after a while anyway, and since there are so many of you we don’t care about the “difficult” women. They are just game-playing idiots in our opinion. Their attitude is offensive to us and a waste of our valuable time.

    We can find the easy, fun ones without any problems, who WILL get us, while you difficult women get nothing.

    Us men are doing the SMART thing by being easy!

  8. ET says:

    We can find the easy, fun ones without any problems, who WILL get us, while you difficult women get nothing.

    Or we can take a dog. Here is why.

    1. The later you are, the more excited your dog is to see you.

    2. Dogs don’t notice if you call them by another dog’s name.

    3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.

    4. A dog’s parents never visit.

    5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

    6. You never have to wait for a dog; they’re ready to go 24 hours a day.

    7. Dogs find you amusing when you’re drunk.

    8. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.

    9. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, “If I died, would you get another dog?”

    10. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.

    11. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.

    12. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don’t get mad. They just think it’s interesting.

    13. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.

    14. If a dog leaves, it won’t take half of your stuff.

    To test this theory:
    Lock your woman and your dog in the garage for an hour. Then open it and see who’s happy to see you.

  9. deta says:

    And she certainly loves to give you memorable, permanent “love-bites”, ET 🙂

  10. principessaluna says:

    I don’t know why but my feeling as an Indonesian girl is that bule men are too easy to get.

    Maybe these men you surround yourself with are old and/or pathetic and/or desperate.

  11. amelia says:

    i like bule.i find someone to become my friend

  12. Swagman says:

    Maybe these men you surround yourself with are old and/or pathetic and/or desperate.

    Hey hey … no need to get personal 😉

  13. julia says:

    i just want to say how to get a bule man?

  14. julia says:

    maybe any bule man for take me

  15. Tim Clevenger says:

    Girls, if you want to find a bule, walk up and talk to him. Be nice. Don’t have any agenda or ulterior motive. Just be yourself. We consider Indonesian women (especially Asian) to be exotic. So you already have our attention.

    By the way, anyone who doesn’t like the word bule, thinks it’s rude, or is racest . . . get a life. We all have character traits. Mine are all circled around the fact that I am a bule.

    So if you are a bule . . . be proud of it.

  16. Ryan says:

    I have lived in Indonesia since I was 14 years old. I have learned through pleasant and tough lessons all there is to know about this country from a Bule perspective. This book; is truly classic. Hilarious. Relish this literature fellas.

  17. diego says:

    So if you are a bule . . . be proud of it.

    Can’t wait to see “bule pride parade” in Jakarta.

  18. Costas Loizou says:

    This is so hilarious!!

    They actually wrote a book about it.. funny.

    Then again, try going to some of the shit hole dives in Bandung.. Bule hunters a plenty there.. so i can see why this book would sell…

  19. Costas Loizou says:

    and dewi.. u know u love the bule!! dont deny it.. 😉

  20. febs says:

    ‘How to get a bule men?’ its kinda great book..yes this is what i need..Does the book still available in the bookstore?Do any bookstores still sell the book??

  21. Costas Loizou says:

    Yes, you can get the book from any EF school in Indonesia. One of the employment policies is that they offer free accom, free flights, crap wage, but a promise of local girl rumpy pumpy!

    Its in the contract, its even worded like that.. rumpy pumpy!

  22. diego says:

    Rumpy Pumpy? I thought it was a made up word, but no, it really is an english word:

  23. Eva says:

    I love bule!!! good for making sex

  24. Lairedion says:

    Hi Eva, way to go, girl. And you know what, I understand it perfectly because:

    The hard truth: People in Asia don’t like sex

    For those female Asian exceptions they can turn to bule or Indo men…

  25. Oigal says:

    Hey, L

    That was funny, any idea on what planet Asia he was referring too? The most fundamentally disturbing and strange part of most of Asia is how much the girls like it and the guys seem so damn oblivious to all.

    And before we start it has nothing to with money or wealth its all about discretion. The childish attitude of the groups of idiot men holding hands together on the corner of the street pretty much damns then to a life of masturbation when mommies not home before they even start.

  26. Lairedion says:


    Indeed funny. No particular part mentioned. It is probably related to this:

    World map of The Penis Size Worldwide (country) by Country – TargetMap

  27. Oigal says:

    🙂 No Wonder Nobody and Realist sounds so p*ssed all the time. The best bit I am above average (which might explain why some people keep calling me a big Pr**k).

  28. Lairedion says:

    Yup, small dicks and underachievers…

  29. Jimmy bali says:


    Im a 65 year old Australian man living in Bali. If it wasnt for the fact that these girls are lovely, kind and hot little things, i’d probably never get any horizontal action. Good on em.. love indonesia, love indonesians, especially the sexy girls…

  30. Sara says:

    Bule stereotypes, if only all Indonesian women know that marrying westerners is not as simple as they think, you have to work anyway, there’s no shortcut for easy life.
    I wonder what will i think if someone write abook about ” how to get an asian woman ”
    Bule man is not an object.

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