How to Get a Bule Man

Apr 14th, 2008, in Society, by

A new book giving advice to Indonesian women on how to find an expat man, How to Catch Mr Bule.

Published by Gramedia Pustaka Utama and written by one Erlinawati How to Catch Mr Bule provides tips and advice for Indonesian women on how to snare a foreign man for romance and likely marriage, and how to manage the relationship.

How to Catch Mr Bule.

The book discusses important questions such as:

  • Are foreign men more caring and loving than Indonesian men?
  • Is it true foreign men know best how to keep a woman happy?
  • Or are bules just looking for a bit of fun, or as blogger Indcoup once put it in the four “F”‘s – “find, feel, f…, forget”?
  • Do foreign men like Asian women because they think of them as demure, while western women are too forthright and independent?
  • What special problems face local women dating a foreign man?

The weird habits of bule men are pointed out as a warning to Indonesian women, such as

  • they like dogs
  • they sleep with the lights off
  • they like to cook for themselves

These small matters could later blow up into big problems and ruin the relationship, it is said. However the main advice seems to be to avoid stereotypes and keep your eyes open.

Available at the bargain price of 25,000 rupiah.

410 Comments on “How to Get a Bule Man”

  1. Kiran Mrkstein says:


    I’m an Indonesian woman married to an American for 4 years (and still countin) I personally found this book a little too much to be true. Why on earth would a dignified, with brain woman find a partner solely based on his skin tone? Bule here is spesifically defined as caucassians, isnt it? Now I can see you pull out that look (eyebrow raised and eyeballs rolled) and mumble “look whos talking”. You have all the rights to do that but lemme share one thing here… there are so much more than just physical shares to be in a relationship with man of any nationality. Mind that, my Indonesian fellow… Because the once sun-kissed hair, the clear blue eyes, the bright pinkish taut skin oneday will grow out of time. By then whats left is merely their personality.

    Good luck, Kirana

  2. Yummymummy says:

    @ Kiran. I agree with you. I’m Indonesian woman married to a Greek Australian whom I met when I was studying at uni. I married him because of his inner beauty not his look or skins or money. We’re equally intelligent & both from middle-class families.
    He didn’t know Indonesia and I never had Greece in mind before we met. But we’re willing to learn & understand each other’s cultures, religions & way of thinking or life. Thus, we get along nicely. We introduce the Oz, Indonesian & Greek cultures to our children so they would, hopefully, be more welcome to accept diversities in people from every corner of the world.
    As people are more globally mobile & wired (thanx to internet) nowadays, imho, inter-racial / inter-religion / inter-cultural / inter-class marriages are inevitable. Thus, we should be celebrating & enjoying (not bashing) it as it makes life more colorful.

    @Zaitun. I do miss the ‘easy’ living in Jkt sometimes, especially when my children gave me hard times. But I keep telling myself that I’m strong & smart enough to overcome these challenges, hence I can. I survive! And I enjoy the closeness I have with my sons which otherwise wouldn’t happen if I have pembantu + babysitter + driver to help me. Re divorce, most divorce will end up sad, or messy or both whether it’s inter-racial marriage or not. Instead of worrying about it, we should put our best effort on making our relationship stronger.

  3. Rob says:

    Seeing that the original post relates to a book titled “How to Catch Mr. Bule” perhaps it is time to get back on topic.

    The law of averages says that if the girl kisses enough toads then one day she will get lucky and get the prince, right?

    Just a thought!

  4. Mets says:

    The fact that a book like this was written published and is selling in bookstores …surely its not taken seriously right….its truely beyond me!!!

  5. hikmah says:

    I think we have to respect all people, I prefer caucasian cause they can turn me on.

  6. Purba Negoro says:

    The human’s largest sex organ is the Mind.

    Therefore Hikmah- your mind must be perverse or faulty to be only turned on by pale skin, blue irises and prominent nose.

  7. Haddie says:


    Nous sommes tres exotique! (Le ‘e’ de ‘tres’ avec accent aigu – Ma grammaire est superbe! Hahah)

    Or so they think….

    If an Indonesian guy or girl wants a Mr. or Ms. Bule..

    Just be yourself..

    They like us South East Asians as much as we like them Bules

    Trust me, Ik woon in Amsterdam – Nederland

  8. Haddie says:

    Attend! Attend!

    I made a mistake!

    Le ‘e’ de ‘tres’ avec accent grave…

    C’est bien,


    Tot ziens tout le monde,

  9. Emma says:

    Hello guys.

    I really want to get Mr.Bule..
    What should i do??
    I love them so much.
    They are very nice, care, good behaviour, good looking too..
    Now, I want to join home stay in australie..

    right kah?

  10. fullmoonflower says:

    @ Emma

    Indonesian said : “Jodoh di tangan Tuhan…”

    well, you may do something to get your dream come true, but I hope when finally God matches you to a Javanese or Sumatran or Dayaks or maybe Papuan, please don’t be dissappointed πŸ˜‰

    Good luck, Emma! πŸ™‚

  11. SlickJimmy says:


    WHOO HOOOOO!!!!!!

    I am a white american that fits right into the sterotype. (sorry all)

    I am very handsome and make a good living. I live in the U.S. and was married to that white independent somewhat crazy white woman. We would constantly butts heads about everything.

    We have been divorced for three years now, and I have always fancied asian girls. I have dated a filipino, vietnamese, thai, and japanese. All were very pretty. I just recently met an indo-girl on public transportation, an indo girl, nay woman, who was going through a divorce from her american bule of three years. He brought her here state side. She is very pretty.

    things are going very well these past four months.i have not been witness to any craziness on her part. and the respectful, demure, laid back, get up and go, lets be a success, hot sex thingy is working out just fine, and IT IS A TWO WAY STREET.

    so hopefully, if things keep this way, perhaps we will work out. if not, i may just try to get my indo girl straight from the island and try my luck that way.

  12. crocketman says:

    It was mentioned here by a few that a good place to at least see the bule guys and sometimes the bule girls too is at pub, bars, clubs.

    A reality is that a major percent of bules from Europe (north to south), North America & South America, Oz, NZ, like to chill out with a drink at a bar. Actually, I have yet to meet a bule guy that does not have at least an occasional drink.

    For countries like England this is part of the culture of going to a local pub, meeting up with friends, and catching up on the buzz around town. This is older than newspapers not even talking about TV or the web.

    Sure there’s going to be some that are like bar furniture, sitting on same stool day after day, drinking the same kind of beer, cultivating thier evergrowing beer gut.

    But there are guys that are not the bar furniture, really have a life besides beer, and are there to chill out. Some bars in Jkt are good places to eat as well, and the bule goes there to eat and chill.

    Anyway – if an I’sian girl really is serious about checking out the scene and wants to meet a bule – the bar or pub is a place with the most. It takes an adventurous lasy spirit to want to meet a bule – for all those bad reasons others have so well described here.

    A main point is an I’sian girl must herself be adventurous – even if on the a web date thing. Of course if the bar is full of hookers – the nice girl may want to give that place a pass – at least go well before any hookers finally wake up. Or go to bar that has zero hookers.

    Most guys can suss out hooker – not all and not always. Thus the girl should not dress like one or act like one. If you are indeed a nice girl – as said most guys will know – and the girl must be brave enough to not sit in the corner. After you are able to strike up a conversation – the girl must say she is there to chill out just like him – and not for fast takeaway.

    The girl must use some common sense and her female instincts. Obviously if she does not like the guy who drinks 15 beers, wobbles walking to the toilet, and nobody can understand whatever he says including the bartender – well maybe you better give that one a miss.

    Meeting a guy at a bar indeed is a balancing act and a gamble – buy hey if you want – these guys are not going to fall out of a tree in front of you. Not all guys in bars are bad – and hey – there just might be one sitting there who could be the “one”.

  13. crocketman says:

    Forgot to add:

    Meeting a guy at a bar indeed is a balancing act and a gamble – buy hey if you want – these guys are not going to fall out of a tree in front of you.

    Although one just might fall off the barstool in front of you.

    Not all guys in bars are bad – and hey – there just might be one sitting there who could be the β€œone”.

  14. tony says:

    Great read, should give a free copy to all male bule arriving in indo.

  15. imma says:

    ok tony and i think u should email them and tell me im available, hahaha email me at, im only 20 i think they will like young chick

  16. cinnamongirl says:

    Bule Man or Local Man or other asian man , i think all of them the same
    Not because of their pale skin color , blue eyes then it should be turn me on ^o^

    But I turn on to smart man and his inner beauty.

    I work with expatriate colleagues and got to know their real life specially when all of us stayed at the same accommodation because of at the remote area , I could say .. they are just the same as other MEN …

  17. Scott says:

    I am bule and I find women are beautiful all over the world. There are a lot of stereotypes about everyone, Americans I’m sure have many. But don’t let a few Americans who’s stories become legend change the way you see us all.

    I spent time in Indo because I wanted to learn about the culture and the people. I left all the stereotypes about Indonesians out of my mind, figuring they would all be proved wrong when I actually spent time there. And sure enough, they were.

    I had no intention of finding someone and falling in love. But I did. It completely caught me off-guard. And it was her intelligence and confidence that first caught my attention. Then I was fortunate enough to get some time with her and learn more about her. And it was her heart and soul that really got me.

    She educated me and helped me understand the “bule predicament”. It’s sad, but a fact of life between almost all cultures.

    I am bule. And I respect women in any culture from any place on earth. It’s a human issue, not a bule issue. As much as our cultures can be different, we are all pretty much the same – we have our good points and our bad. I say live and let live .. and let love fall where it may.

  18. ET says:

    Emma said

    Hello guys.

    I really want to get Mr.Bule..
    What should i do??
    I love them so much.
    They are very nice, care, good behaviour, good looking too..
    Now, I want to join home stay in australie..

    … and go shopping for the rest of my life.

  19. Dyakultua bwa says:

    Bules are the new Niggers of the World…

    so no more need for such a book – as it is simple Bules are doomed from the start and as soon as they put one foot in the upside-down part of the world…

    so when is OBAMA going to Indonesia to rescue all the Bules from what he claims he has been suffering from all these years?

  20. zekky says:

    Why is there an Indian guy on the cover? Isn’t a Bule white?

  21. Hilds says:

    LOL… I found this webpage by accident and some of your comments are hilarious!.. :). So thanks cause it’s 1.30 am and i still haven’t finished my soon-due paper!.

    My take on this bit: Bule or should I just bluntly say WHITE, yellow, green, black, blue, purple whatever… eventually they are all the same. Yes, it might be slight different in how they treat women and show their affections, and yes they are truly attractive (well, some of them at least.. to me) with their blue bright eyes, pointy nose, and 6.2 feet tall *sighs…*. But they are human!, some are good some are bad…

    A bit shallow to try to fall in love or chase a particular someone just because the color of their skin. Don’t you think?…

    Btw, they are having the UN race summit in Geneva any you guys know?..
    WHITE IS NOT MIGHT, Ladies!.

    One more thing, just wanna say: “IBID” to Farah’s comment.

  22. Hilds says:

    P.S: Just read SlickJimmy’s post…. HOT SEX?… wuow, way too many information man.. :).

  23. Oigal says:

    I still wait for a posting about: How to get a white woman.

    That’s the easy bit..the hard bit is is avoiding the 100kgs of flab that follows..It amazes me how so many refer to Indonesian Girls are trophy hunters..when was the last time a divorce anywhere in the world left the guy with so much as the shirt on his back..No shortage of money grubbers anywhere in the world its not a race thing.

    Reminds of my last experience with the white girl..

    She asked my how could she double the size of her breasts? I told her to wipe tissue paper between her breasts twice a day..She then said ..WHY would that work??

    Answer..Well it has worked on your arse..

  24. David says:

    I still wait for a posting about: How to get a white woman.

    That would be here – How to get Miss Bule.

    Someone sent me this image once, and while it is going over the top it might resonate with some

    Western and Asian women

  25. Oigal says:

    About covers it Patung

  26. Mike Oxblack says:

    ,,,and you can’t even see WW’s hairy legs in that pic.

  27. diego says:

    @All indonesian women,

    Forget bules, they’re wankers:

    In this study, white people were the most enthusiastic masturbators. African-Americans, Asian-Americans, and Pacific Islanders reported less masturbation.

  28. Stupid Bule says:

    Where did you say you found some copies Rob? I’m pretty sure my ex-girlfriend would love a copy…She’s only a beginner at chasing Bule, and needs some brushing up on her technique.
    I personally believe it’s a great idea, and a great name for a book. It will sell here like hot cakes. I can just see all those nasty little chickens lining up to get their copy… I’ve already begun my own book, ‘How to Be a Stupid Bule’…I’m thinking of following it up after hearing about this on with, ‘How to be a Stupid Bule Without Getting Caught’…When I’e finished, I’ll send you a copy.

  29. Rosebud says:

    As a bule Australian woman, I am ashamed to admit that many (not all, but many) of the stereotypes about bule men are, unfortunately, true. And sadly, that the image of the western woman vs that asian woman is also true, especially when we are young and single. Bule men and bule women have evolved together over many years and deserve each other. I love my bule husband who both loves and respects me as an equal. However, I have sympathy for the gentle asian woman or man who gets involved with one of us, only to discover how unrefined we are.

    On the other hand, I can also be proud of the tolerant, multi-cultural society I come from, and testify to the positive effect the immigration of so many Asian people have had on our crude culture here in Australia.

    However, it is a bit of a shock to read some of the prejudices some contributers have based on ephemeral things like who you happen to be born to, what the colour of your skin is, and your religion. I’d like to think we are moving past that, to see the real person underneath the superficial layers.

    Let’s strive for positive, happy relationships, based on mutual respect and love for each other, regardless of our backgrounds.

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