How to Get a Bule Man

Apr 14th, 2008, in Society, by

A new book giving advice to Indonesian women on how to find an expat man, How to Catch Mr Bule.

Published by Gramedia Pustaka Utama and written by one Erlinawati How to Catch Mr Bule provides tips and advice for Indonesian women on how to snare a foreign man for romance and likely marriage, and how to manage the relationship.

Bule
How to Catch Mr Bule.

The book discusses important questions such as:

  • Are foreign men more caring and loving than Indonesian men?
  • Is it true foreign men know best how to keep a woman happy?
  • Or are bules just looking for a bit of fun, or as blogger Indcoup once put it in the four “F”‘s – “find, feel, f…, forget”?
  • Do foreign men like Asian women because they think of them as demure, while western women are too forthright and independent?
  • What special problems face local women dating a foreign man?

The weird habits of bule men are pointed out as a warning to Indonesian women, such as

  • they like dogs
  • they sleep with the lights off
  • they like to cook for themselves

These small matters could later blow up into big problems and ruin the relationship, it is said. However the main advice seems to be to avoid stereotypes and keep your eyes open.

Available at the bargain price of 25,000 rupiah.


410 Comments on “How to Get a Bule Man”

  1. Patrick says:

    @Timdog – I am dark enough where many of the Hispanics (Spanish origin) people in South Florida (where I live now) are shocked to find out I am Irish as they thought I was definitely Hispanic as well. My parents had 5 children, 2 of them are blonde and blue eyed, 1 is black haired and blue eyed, 1 is black hired and brown eyed and me who had blue eyes until about age 1 and then one turned hazel and a few months later the other. Anyway I was born in Killarney,Ireland but raised in New York City in a very Irish community and glad for that. Besides playing all the typical American sports also played Irish Football and Hurling.

    @ ALL- You know, I think we are all done with the topic “How 2 Get a Bule Man” or at least I am for now. It was a pleasure to discuss & debate with everyone as I learned quite allot. It was my pleasesure to communicate with so many terrific people.

    Semua orang Selamat jalan nyawa.

  2. dewaratugedeanom says:

    @Patrick

    Romantic love was always considered important to maintaining a Happy marriage in the Judeo-Christian (note Christian here includes Catholics) tradition of Western culture
    re Western culture.

    Americans have sometimes difficulties in understanding that not everybody eats McDonalds.
    In the Judeo-Christian tradition matrimony may be considered as something ‘holy’ with precedence over anything else, in other traditions it is merely an institution where two people publicly agree to live together according to a set of rules sanctioned by the community.

  3. dewaratugedeanom says:

    MbakAditya said

    It’s got nothing to do with the size of the manuk sweetness, or for the matter anything to do with the tempik.

    I have a manuk dewata (= bird of paradise) of considerable size.

  4. Patrick says:

    @dewaratugedeanom
    “Just when I thought I was out, they drag me back in” Quote by the movie Godfather III character Michael Corrleone said after he thought he successfully left the mafia.

    Yep dewartatugedeanom you reached the same conclusion regarding cultural differences and marriage. (see previous comments) Don’t let anyone ever accuse you of being dim witted. :>)

    As for McDonald’s here a list of all the countries where people apparently enjoy McDonald’s. Looks like an American marketing success to me!

    List of countries with McDonald’s
    * Andorra (1984)
    * Argentina (1986)
    * Aruba (1985)
    * Australia (1971)
    * Austria (1977)
    * Azerbaijan (1999)
    * The Bahamas (1975)
    * Bahrain (1994)
    * Belarus (1996)
    * Belgium (1978)
    * Brazil (1979)
    * Brunei (1992)
    * Bulgaria (1994)
    * Canada (1967)
    * People’s Republic of China (1990), Hong Kong (1975), Macau (1987)
    * Costa Rica (1970)
    * Chile (1990)
    * Colombia (1995)
    * Croatia (1996)
    * Cuba (only within Guantanamo Bay; none within the Republic of Cuba) (1986)
    * Cyprus (1996)
    * Czech Republic (1992)
    * Denmark (1981)
    * Dominican Republic (1996)
    * Ecuador (1997)
    * Egypt (1994)
    * El Salvador (1972)
    * Estonia (1995)
    * Fiji (1996)
    * Finland (1984)
    * France (1972; Martinique 1991, Guadeloupe 1992, Réunion 1997, French Guiana 2000),French Polynesia (1996, in Tahiti)
    * Germany (1971, in then West Germany)
    * Georgia (1999)
    * Greece (1991)
    * Guatemala (1974)
    * Honduras (1995)
    * Hungary (1988)
    * Iceland (1993)
    * India (1996)
    * Indonesia (1991)
    * Ireland (1977)
    * Israel (1993)
    * Italy (1985)
    * Japan (1971)
    * Jordan (1996)
    * Kazakhstan (1990)[citation needed]
    * South Korea (1988)
    * Kuwait (1994)
    * Latvia (1994)
    * Lebanon (1998)
    * Liechtenstein (1996)
    * Lithuania (1996)
    * Luxembourg (1985)
    * Oman (1994)
    * Macedonia (1997)
    * Malaysia (1982)
    * Malta (1995)
    * Mauritius (2001)
    * Mexico (1985)
    * Moldova (1998)
    * Monaco (1992)
    * Montenegro (2004)
    * Morocco (1992)
    * Netherlands
    * Netherlands Antilles (1974, Saint Maarten 1995)
    * New Caledonia (1994)
    * New Zealand (1976)
    * Nicaragua (1975, re-established 1998)
    * Northern Mariana Islands (1993)
    * Norway (1983)
    * Pakistan (1998)
    * Panama (1971)
    * Paraguay (1996)
    * Peru (1996)
    * Philippines (1981)
    * Poland (1992)
    * Portugal (1991)
    * Qatar (1995)
    * Romania (1995)
    * Russia (1990)
    * Samoa (1996)
    * San Marino (1999)
    * Saudi Arabia (1993)
    * Serbia (1988)
    * Singapore (1979)
    * Slovakia (1995)
    * Slovenia (1993)
    * South Africa (1995)
    * Suriname (1997)
    * Sweden (1973)
    * Switzerland (1976)
    * Spain (1981)
    * Sri Lanka (1998)
    * Taiwan (Republic of China) (1984)
    * Thailand (1985)
    * Turkey (1986)
    * Ukraine (1997)
    * United Arab Emirates (1994)
    * United Kingdom (1974 in England, Wales 1984, Scotland 1987, Northern Ireland 1991, Gibraltar (1999), Isle of Man (1997)
    * United States (1940 in United States Virgin Islands (1970), American Samoa (2000), Guam (1971), Puerto Rico (1967)
    * Uruguay (1991)
    * Venezuela

  5. Rob says:

    Does anybody else find it bizarre that while McDonalds gets increasingly health conscious back in the US of A it continues to export the size me up version of burgers and fries in the rest of the world?

    Are there any easily accessible studies that highlight a link between increases in obesity and diabetes in developing nations that are related to increases in the penetration of “fast food” outlets in those nations?

  6. dewaratugedeanom says:

    Patrick

    Fair crack of the whip. Should we now all join Christianity and adopy their views on matrimony?

  7. Patrick says:

    dewaratugedeanom-Interesting you asked that question to me but should you not be posing it to yourself instead? Seems to me that you already are questioning your beliefs. That was not my intention but faith should always be examined as the truth will always be upheld in the end.

  8. dewaratugedeanom says:

    Patrick, you are unflushible, arent you? 🙂 You complained about your Mrs trying to change you, but it seems you too can’t give up until you have the last word, whether it makes sense or not. Keras kepala, a typical Irish trait.

  9. Patrick says:

    dewaratugeedeanom – Marvelous insight! Remind me to head butt you if on the odd chance we should ever meet….ha ha ha

    As for the Mrs. I actually called her, swallowed my Irish pride and (gasp) apologized! well its a start : > )

  10. RossM says:

    I’m waiting for the English language version of the book ‘How to catch a bule woman’, specifically written for us non-ayam-chasing bule men here in Jakarta.

    Available western women seem to be like the Loch Ness monster here, everybody says they’re there, but nobody can find them.

    Give me an interesting, self confident and engaging woman anyday over a local trophy-hunter.

    I think the book is a joke anyway, and an insult to Indonesian men.

  11. Farah says:

    I’m waiting for the English language version of the book ‘How to catch a bule woman’, specifically written for us non-ayam-chasing bule men here in Jakarta.

    Available western women seem to be like the Loch Ness monster here, everybody says they’re there, but nobody can find them.

    Give me an interesting, self confident and engaging woman anyday over a local trophy-hunter.

    I think the book is a joke anyway, and an insult to Indonesian men.

    Hehehe ask these gentleman over here how to get Mrs Bule… i think most of them had the experience…
    And you CAN’T find them ? where do you live anyway ? if you live in jungle you still can find this expat girls online if you REALLY2 “non-ayam-chasing bule men“.
    Maybe because you had less effort that you can’t find them in Jakarta.

    The book is insult for indonesia men.. how come ? because the writer prefer bule than local ?

  12. Patrick says:

    and the winner is..FARAH.…by a 1st round knockout as Ross is left on the canvass after a vicious right-cross followed then by a left-hook. OUCH!

  13. RossM says:

    Patrick Says:

    June 5th, 2008 at 11:30 am
    and the winner is..FARAH.…by a 1st round knockout as Ross is left on the canvass after a vicious right-cross followed then by a left-hook. OUCH!

    I hardly think so, I’m very-much still-standing Patrick.
    I am, however, still trying to figure out exactly what her point is.
    Maybe she is saying I’m not trying hard enough to find them?
    And why wouldn’t she want to stick up for her male compatriates?

    The book is insult for indonesia men.. how come ? because the writer prefer bule than local ?

    ^^^ As do I…

  14. Farah says:

    I hardly think so, I’m very-much still-standing Patrick.
    I am, however, still trying to figure out exactly what her point is.
    Maybe she is saying I’m not trying hard enough to find them?
    And why wouldn’t she want to stick up for her male compatriates?

    my point ?
    i just want to made sure, you did say “Available western women seem to be like the Loch Ness monster here, everybody says they’re there, but nobody can find them

    No body is ?????? you i assume ?

    thats why i ask are you live in jungle ? why you can’t find available western woman in here (indonesia???jakarta????????)

    If you can not FIGURE OUT what i am saying here.. then..
    only God could help you out with those “AVAILABLE WESTERN WOMAN” search.

    You said the book is an insult for indonesian man.. can’t see the reason why ?

    ^^^ As do I…

    and… you like western man ???? (loose my orientation here) wooowwhoooo !!!

  15. RossM says:

    my point ?
    i just want to made sure, you did say “Available western women seem to be like the Loch Ness monster here, everybody says they’re there, but nobody can find them”

    No body is ?????? you i assume ?

    thats why i ask are you live in jungle ? why you can’t find available western woman in here (indonesia???jakarta????????)

    If you can not FIGURE OUT what i am saying here.. then..
    only God could help you out with those “AVAILABLE WESTERN WOMAN” search.

    Why so defensive? All I did was state my preference in WOMEN and you launch into this vicious attack?

    Why such a thin skin Farah, I didn’t insult you, yet you repeatedly insult me, why?

    With every insult you prove my point.

    ^^^ As do I…

    and… you like western man ???? (loose my orientation here) wooowwhoooo !!!

    In the context of the quote my meaning was clear, although I can at least concede you have a sense of humour, and my skin is a little thicker than your gossamer-thin covering.

    The book is an insult to Indonesian men because it presumes that bules are such great prizes and they are not.

  16. Farah says:

    @ RossM
    I didn’t attack you, just asking you at first place.
    Don’t be too sensitive.And don’t be too .. what did you say ? thin skin ?? i never been felt insulted.. if i do, i will tell anyway.
    My skin is okay, perfectly glowing… hehehehe… you should check yours tho..

    This book not an insult to indonesian man. Why should they feel inisulted?? its talking about woman preference. Trust me, not all indonesian woman like bule !
    And if the bule as you said they not great prizes, well.. back to preferences again.
    Hope your THICK SKIN could understand about that.

    Cheers.

  17. lampu says:

    since we are in a generalization topic, pardon my generalization comment in the posting.

    @ janma

    you described bule as…

    “person from a developed country (negara maju) , probably with more money than us.”

    a bule means a foreigner… and not necessarily comes from developed country -negara maju. why do you think indonesian people only like bules because they have more money?

    most of the times it is used for white people, since they are more apparant as foreigners. i have brown skin, and im also called bule pretty often and my indian friend who looks obviously indonesian but with thick british accent is also called a bule.

    your statement is making small of indonesian people in a way. so as many of your postings.
    if you are an expat in indonesia, i would put you in number four category – the whiney one.
    relax and try to understand indonesian people an expose yourself as part of the community, then you may have an easy time here.
    if you are an indonesian, then man.. you are one of those bule wanna be…

    lets buy the book and let us all own a bule man… kept in a jar, they wiggle and dance as you shake it!

    MERDEKA!

  18. dewaratugedeanom says:

    lampu said

    @ janma

    your statement is making small of indonesian people in a way. so as many of your postings.
    if you are an expat in indonesia, i would put you in number four category – the whiney one.
    relax and try to understand indonesian people an expose yourself as part of the community, then you may have an easy time here.
    if you are an indonesian, then man.. you are one of those bule wanna be…

    And what if janma is bule and WNI. Since when is the Indonesian nationality exclusively reserved for the Malay race?

  19. MbakAditya says:

    RossM Says:

    June 4th, 2008 at 6:45 am
    I’m waiting for the English language version of the book ‘How to catch a bule woman’, specifically written for us non-ayam-chasing bule men here in Jakarta.

    Available western women seem to be like the Loch Ness monster here, everybody says they’re there, but nobody can find them.

    Give me an interesting, self confident and engaging woman anyday over a local trophy-hunter.

    I think the book is a joke anyway, and an insult to Indonesian men.

    No Ross, available for the lazy bastard who is happy to live in Indonesia but can’t be arsed to learn her language type of bule.

    And worse in your case is the statement “non ayam chasing”, you don’t even have the sense to chase a pretty Indo girl, your looking for a flabby old bule strumpet. Hehehe.

  20. RossM says:

    And worse in your case is the statement “non ayam chasing”, you don’t even have the sense to chase a pretty Indo girl, your looking for a flabby old bule strumpet. Hehehe.

    Yeah, whatever mate.

    That tired old line about the virtues of the gorgeous Indo girl versus the supposedly flabby bule strumpet. If you’re so happy with dating the locals, I’m certainly not stopping you, but that’s no reason to insult the western expat women.

    What do you care who I date anyway?

    It’s funny when someone pops up on a forum and just states a simply preference, all the detractors come out of the woodwork to shout them down.

    You blokes must have something incredibly amazing about you that those women at home just couldn’t see, for all the local women to flock around the minute you got off the plane and planted your arse on that Eastern Promise barstool. lol

  21. MbakAditya says:

    Yeah, whatever mate.

    That tired old line about the virtues of the gorgeous Indo girl versus the supposedly flabby bule strumpet. If you’re so happy with dating the locals, I’m certainly not stopping you, but that’s no reason to insult the western expat women.

    What do you care who I date anyway?

    It’s funny when someone pops up on a forum and just states a simply preference, all the detractors come out of the woodwork to shout them down.

    You blokes must have something incredibly amazing about you that those women at home just couldn’t see, for all the local women to flock around the minute you got off the plane and planted your arse on that Eastern Promise barstool. lol

    But Ross, it’s true!! what is the point in going to India and not ordering a curry?

    As for EP, well leave that lot to themselves – there are many more discerning bules that don’t frequent the place, and you’re hardly one to talk, and if you did it wouldn’t be in Indonesian.

    The western expat women that you refer to are in a very few percent of cases actually worth one, otherwise they have their own agendy which consists of hating local girls for not weighing the best part of a deuce and not having to shave their beard every day.

    I couldn’t care less who you date, just hawk your pearly on a seedy dating site, not in public.

  22. uwie says:

    @ Patung

    Next chapter is about Bali, avoid Kuta – full of drunks, they don’t even know they’re in Indoneisa, you can spot them from the way they walk, talk, what they carry, and their attitude.

    Go to Ubud – nice cultural types there, eco-tourist bules are the best, don’t think that bules who stay or live in villages are poor, they just want to experience the culture.

    What? But I love living in Kuta, many surfer boys without shirt displaying their great bodies and muscle on the street … and they are handsome too (some of them) …. there are something to see … hehehehe

    What? Ubud … many old man in there or man without displaying their not great bodies and most of them not handsome … heheheheh …

    @ Purbo Negoro

    How many bangsawan or wealthy Pribumi marry a bule? Very very few indeed.

    Are you still believe in that kind of stupid classes of people in indonesia? Where have you been? … ck ck ck ck

    @ Mickey

    Talk to my gf. She has a few tricks to keep me locked in the bedroom. Jamu…. maybe, Voodoo… definitely. (see posting on regular page). I became her sex slave. You dont hear me complain but like to do something else than bumbum all the time.

    You are “super dodol” … Huahahahhahah … can’t help to stop laughing … very nice guy!!!

    keep going on!! really interested of what you will say … huahahahha …

    @ Mickey

    Oh my, Oh my,…

    This website has become an outing for some frustated chats!

    Maybe time to go back to the basic propostion of this site.

    Sorry …..(Rob – anyone) what was it again….?

    I dont understand your comments anymore. Sorry I have limited IQ….! I am Bule.

    Definitely you are a number one “super dodol” …. HUAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA ….. and I am absolutely agree with you … I will be back to the “dating indonesian girl” topic ….

    @ PATRICK

    U definitely have to build a website to against http://www.an-asian-wife.com/ …. huahahahhaha …. if you have one … please notice somewhere in this website … I will enjoy that one … hehehehehhe …

    @Patrick

    Sadly, my marriage looks like a forex trading chart with isteri aku having so many wild mood swings along with a hair trigger temper that it becomes scary. Anyone know a good Indonesian exorcist or American divorce lawyer? Thankfully, we do not have children!

    I know it is really bad being laughing above others suffering. But I can’t help to not to laugh … hehehe …

    Maybe the writer should write with title “How to get Vietnam man”
    I really need that … shhh …

    @Patrick

    Set the example for others to follow and resist the easy way of corruption. Get involved politically and become the leaders that Indonesia needs badly to make the changes necessary to one day become a first world nation.

    Naah … I prefer work to foreign company than to indonesian company … Tooooo many corruption. … I will change with my way… thank you very much!!!

    @Dewagederatuanom

    @Farah and MbakAditya

    I’m still waiting for that mud wrestling match.
    Maybe janma can also join in as a referee.

    so do i …. hehehe

    @ all

    can’t stop laughing reading your all opinion …. hehehehe … sometimes it getting too serious …
    I ll be back to my first topic ….
    but will definitely read this one …

    chao!!!

  23. lampu says:

    hello again. I just returned from a long vacation.. around java and all the way to lombok. man.. there are many whities in gili trawangan.
    i cant believe the discussion has gone this long.. and off the track too.

    people seem to read others posting only to find the mistakes in it just so they can reply a witty remarks on the others. it was fun… but now its getting dull.. it keeps going on and on and around and around. one makes an example of an ethnicity, the next thing is someone reply and tell them that they are generalizing too much. this is how pretty much almost all postings end. i think sometimes people need to state ethnicities and races and all that just for classification purpose. at the end, yes, we are unique and we know that.. or not.. but does it matter?
    but for the purpose of study and records, we are always placed in boxes. thats just how it is…

    lets give eachother hugs and kisses and lift your glasses and bottles and say.. MERDEKA!!

    ps. hey.. notice that i say whities up there.. maybe then you get some ideas to comment on that too…

  24. titi says:

    I married a bule, very odd relationship.

  25. 2Anonymous says:

    Yeah what is up with sleeping with lights on?? Why???? This girl who stays in the house I’m staying at in Jogja sleeps with the lights on every night. When I realized this, I thought it was pretty crazy. Still do.

  26. perseus says:

    Getting Mr Bule is easy if you are hot looking. Keeping him away from the hordes of competing hot looking ayam is the difficulty!

    My advice to all Indonesian girls is to stay away from white guys. We are bad. We are only interested in sex. We have lots of money. (This is a side effect of the infamous Protestant Work Ethic and related Western vices such as productivity and punctuality.) We think women should be treated equally to men (ja – how does that work?) and we are better at sex (I mean hopelessly and totally morally corrupted) because we have all been watching porn since kindergarten. We don’t even believe that sex outside marriage is wrong. We believe that sex is a fundamental human right. We believe in sex before, during and after marriage. Even gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and intersex sex is ok. (Don’t ask me what the difference it between transgender and intersex is. I dunno…) We are hopeless! Give up on us. Expel us from your country! And cut off our infidel internet technology which is designed to perpetrate third generation neo-imperial, neo-colonial, Anglophone, world domination!

    Now, there are some white guys who believe in lifelong monogamy and true love and happiness. They are not real. They are characters in Mills and Boon novels. Honest.

    You should all turn your backs on Mr Bule and get yourselves nice pious penniless clueless and safe local boys who expect you to come with a dowry. No foreign escapades for you 🙂

  27. tomaculum says:

    Perseus,
    you’re right, you candidate of the hell!! 🙂
    And I prefer white, intellectual, beautiful women without restrain open for any sexual practices I can talk with (bevor and after sex). 🙂
    I still wait for a posting about: How to get a white woman.

  28. Lairedion says:

    My Indonesian sisters,

    Perseus is right. Stay away from those ugly W(hite) A(nglo) S(axon) P(rotestants) with their sun-burnt skins, bald heads and pork bellies. They think they represent all bules and still suffer from supremacist neo-colonial thinking, driven by the dominant British and American culture and language.

    Go for Latin bules (Portuguese, Spanish, Italians, Latin American). They’re more classy, handsome and they enjoy joie-de-vivre in stead of working their asses off 24/7 for the sake of complaining on virtually everything. But you have take this into consideration. They’ll love their mothers more than they’ll ever love you.

  29. Marlin says:

    Ouch!! I have read parts of the nasty appalling comments. Don’t worry about them Erlin, you cannot please everybody- (I wonder if they ever can be pleased when they are constantly looking for others’ weaknesses). How to catch Mr Bule in my opinion is pretty well written. It catches some basic small things that you might never realize in this “international mixed” relationship. I thoroughly enjoyed the book and I hope it changes the general attitude in Indonesia that Caucasion is “perfect”. In the end it comes down to the person not the nationality. Well done Erlin!

  30. Zaitun says:

    The cultures difference, living without no “pembantu” and simply all alone in other country with all different language or cultures.. start right when you open your eyes in the morning and when goes to sleep. And about what will happened if they face the divorce.

    Farah, thank you for your advise.
    Indonesia women must think 1000 times to marry to bule.
    Especially for Indonesian moslem women.

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