Just for fun… Janma interviews Indonesia Matters.

IM (Indonesia Matters)
J (Janma, intrepid reporter)

IM:

You know I do think it’s quite odd all these questionnaires flying around and not a single person has asked my opinion in all this time….

J:

Well, that’s about to end you know…..I am really interested in your views on the kinds of posts or comments you get and how you feel about being such a popular Blog.

IM:

Well I can’t complain really….you know most blogs have it far worse than I do. Frequented by flamers, trolls, sycophants all kinds of creatures. Posts that arrive in flames! Now, I’ve had posts that you could use to ask Tonto out on a date with, but mostly the unquenchable appetites of the fire faeries appear to be feasting elsewhere.

J: *Nodding sagely*

So, what type of posts do you seem to be getting? I mean as you have mentioned there are the elemental posts such as fire, no? But what of the other elements? Water and Ether for example…..and the Animal/vegetable/Mineral posts.

IM:

Oh, yes we do get the occasional post or comment made almost entirely of hot air, they usually come from desert types… you know, sheiks and so on. But I personally far prefer the water posts…..flowing around every obstacle in unobtrusive serenity, always seeking the lower ground but inexorable in their purpose…you know, the lifeblood in what could otherwise be arid terrain. Our own Mohammed Khafi is an example of a water poster.

As for Animal/Vegetable/Mineral…..Posts can be made up of anything really. I get posts made of lead, posts made of raindrops, or smiles…for example. Then there’s the posts made from the dust of a long journey, oh, and the linoleum posts! You should see some of the linoleum posts! Ross is a linoleum lover. Stuck in the times when communists hid under beds and Jodi Foster was still the coppertone girl.

Reminds one of the days of radio and ‘walking to the shops’. Totally retro, they produce the same feeling in one as when one hears an older relative relate his “When I was a lad we walked 10 miles to school in snow up to our balls son!” stories.

J: *laughing*

I do know the feeling!

IM:

And then there is the chrome and glass posts – clear, uncluttered lines, a real credit to our age. Clear, logical and modern. Oh, and the skyscraper post…..standing all tall and solid, secure in their own undeniably gigantic existence and totally unaware that they are so completely blocking the view! Those ones usually don’t hang around long. They’re normally demolished by the wrecker ball posts.

J: *Beaming*

Oh, do go on…..

IM:

Oh, we get the odd one made of fluff you know, but that’s really no skin off my nose, just entertainment really. Some are made of paper…all dry and rustling, some made of bridges, connecting others and spanning chasms. Some are carpets made of the most incredible technicolour threads……

J: *interrupting*

Oh, oh! Like Joseph’s coat!

IM: *ignoring interruption*

…yes, they can be quite a feat to unravel! We also get posts that are black on black such a very subtle form, if you ask me, you can read it all you like and still be none the wiser. There’s the rollercoaster post and the elevator posts too…. stopping all floors, up and down. Then there is the Post of the Worn Saddle. These posts appear with monotonous regularity. Usually about religion or how to keep women in their place, on and on, your tired, your dusty but they still gotta flog that horse! We also have Parasol posts, attempting politeness in the sweltering, flaming heat. We even get the occasional Ghost Post.

J:

Oh, so you do get ethereal posts then? Not just A/V/M?

IM:

Oh hell yes! Zen posts and angel posts….posts made of sunbeams and moonbeams….

J:

Moonbeams?

IM:

One of my favourites really, such melancholy beauty, but very rare. Also there are faerie posts and troll posts and even the odd deity……..

J:

Crikey…. that must cause a stir! I bet the angel or the troll posts keep them in line!?

IM: *thoughtfully*

Actually they don’t seem to inspire really.

J:

What about animal posts?

IM:

Of course! Pig posts……*conspirational aside* ( It is true what they say about pigs you know……) And we get pigeon posts…you know the kind that just come along to sit and shit on you…..but we have a few wild cat posts to keep them at bay…..nearly always females too.

J:

What about fish posts?

IM:

Oh for God’s sake! How negligent of me! Of course The Fish Post! How could I forget.! Achmad is the master of the fish post…. always fishing…. fishing for trouble, fishing for compliments, you name it…. Mind you The Fish Post is entirely different to fishy posts….which we do get sometimes too.

J:

How so?

IM:

Well our fish has teeth, of course!

J: *Nodding*

you mean piranha style?

IM:

That’s right….. chews em up and spits em out he does!

J:

Then there’s the bottom cleaners? Who suck up the debris left by the….

IM:

Oh puleeeze!

J:

Sorry….

IM:

But you know, there is one kind of post that I’d have to say is what keeps me going as a Blog, …..though you maybe surprised…..

J:

Do tell!

IM: *conspiratorially*

The inanimate object post…..

J:

You don’t say!? What form are they in?

IM:

They are the statuesque posts….. the ones get everyone else going. Not in the same way a velcro post does…. you know where everyone gets stuck…. a statuesque post is like a pillar, they hold everything else up without ever appearing to do anything.

J:

The unsung hero type of post?

IM:

You got it…..