Mojopahit Empire
Oct 13th, 2007, in Opinion, by Achmad SudarsonoAchmad envisages a new Mojopahit Empire with Australia as vassal state.
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New columnist Achmad Sudarsono sees Australia destined for client state status under a revived Mojopahit Empire. |
Australia’s defeat in the Rugby World Cup at the hands of Britain on October 6th was more than a humiliation. It was a sign of a culture that is failing on every level and won’t admit it.
Achmad has long argued that dress-wearing and playing with Dollies, long trademarks of the Aussie Rugby team, is no way to train. But Australia’s pathetic defeat was no accident.
219 years after its founding, Australia has fallen off the map and into stagnation. The October 6th defeat, brought on by laziness, beer, meat pies and chips, is just another landmark on the journey to Australia’s final destination: vassal status in a revived Mojopahit empire (see map).
Australian backpackers and expats (real ex-pats, not the derelict Blok M’ers we have here), live in denial, desperately clutching at the Sydney Olympics, and Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardis Gras to prove how cosmopolitan they are. They doth protest too much. Australia elected John Howard in 1996, not the fish and chip shop Nazi Pauline Hanson, but they run the same campaign – stick the wogs in a concentration camp, close the borders, flip on Blue Heelers and Home and Away.
At home, Aussies proudly point to their booming economy. What’s there to be proud of in ripping coal, bauxite, tin, LNG, and wheat out of the ground and flogging them to Asia? Up here, of course, the economies genuinely are built on innovation, thrift and hard work. 219 years on from when Australia started as a quarry and a farm, nothing’s changed. Only the masters have. First it was British, then the Americans. Soon it’ll be China and India. Get that rickshaw ready, Aussie, I’ll be taking a ride, boy.
Indeed, the Asians are taking over the few bastions of thinking left in Aussie. Stroll through any half-decent science or technology faculty at an Aussie Uni. It’s all Choudrys and Chongs. Chances are any of pair round eyes you’ll see’ll be staring out from a brown skin.
Meanwhile, Asia is thriving. Indonesia, like China and India, is a slowly waking dragon that once roused, is unstoppable. Of course, it’s true – Aussie has things we need; coal, tin, chalk, real-estate. But unlike our European “friends”, we realize outright colonisation isn’t an morally acceptable.
Instead, Australia will become just another mendicant, begging (on its knees) for favours from a new Mojopahit federation, gradually coalescing in the North. If Australia can’t even win a Rugby game, how can it resist the rise of Asia? After all, Rugby is really a contest of which team has the thickest skulls and fewest brain cells. (It has none of the subtleties of sepak takraw or badminton). International affairs is infinitely more subtle and complex, qualities we Javanese excel at. No wonder Indonesia was never a big Rugby nation.
The message is simple: Move over Aussie, the Indon man’s time is here.
141 Comments on “Mojopahit Empire”
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Oigal says:
Tsk Tsk, thats the third time you have insulted my family Assmad..and they wonder why they call you broken nose..
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Achmad Sudarsono says:
All My Friends,
I thank you.
Pakmantri:
I am as Indonesian as jongkok or kretek, my friend.
The government I meant was receiving the sucking was Indonesia’s. Since getting into power and out of the wilderness, Ramos Horta has attached his Portuguese-descended lips firmly to the rectum of the TNI, Indonesian President and Deplu and started giving it a firm, hard suck. Justice aside, it’s probably a sensible thing to do.
Sputjam & Sylvester, I was talking about a new, improved version of the Mojopahit empire. But once again, I prefer not to let the facts get in the way of a good stoush, my friends.
Let’s look to the future, not the past. It is only natural that Australia be ruled by Indonesia, perhaps with some illusion of regional autonomy. Besides, it’ll be a cinch to do as they all lie around on the beaches drunk on Fosters. All we’ll have to do is walk in and take what’s rightfully ours.
Thanks, Friend.
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Janma says:
I wonder how they run they’re country so efficiently (compared to indonesia) if all they do is lie around on the beach and suck on fosters…..
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Oigal: didn’t mean to insult your family (don’t know anything about them). Apologies for misunderstandings in that direction. You on the other hand, having stepped into the Blogosphere and called me “Assmad” as well as a range of other things, are fair game. But besides, I avoid personal slurs and keep to the topic in hand.
Janma,
Short history of Australia:
* Take a continent that belongs to other people, start up a quarry and a few mines. Run it by slave (convict) labor.
* Import British money & know-how.
* 2007: Keep the mines, quarries, & farms, flog it to resource-starved India and China. Sit back & cash welfare checks whilst listening to old “Men at Work” hits on the beach. Self-congratulate. Tell self-delusionary stories about multiculturalism a year after 1800’s-style race riots.
I call it the “Tyranny of Missed It,” he he he.
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yeah whatever, what’s it to you anyway if you’re not Australian.?
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Ihaknt says:
Ono, if your mojo is pahit then eat more celery and drink pineapple juice.
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Janma,
Australia sees itself as the “sheriff of the South Pacific.” It is important the world knows this is Indonesia’s playground. It is important the world knows the reason why.
Between you and me, I’m a bit disappointed about the “yeah, whatever,” it’s a mall-chick’s response to debate, the sign of a scatterbain that can’t go the distance. I’d thought more highly of you.
Ihaknt: I don’t drink celery and pineapple juice, I drinkn Jamu.
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Foundation One says:
… this is Indonesia’s playground.
Funny, I just remembered how a teacher of mine used to say, “Indonesia is like a little kid playing with mud and sh*t at the playground while the other kids have gone on to the moon.”
Looks like it’s not gonna change anytime soon either.
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Yes, well, it seems like you’ve inherited the knowledge from your teacher who used a very stupid metaphor. Calling other people childish names doesn’t take much skill, Foundation One. I suggest you read my postings for a taste of sophisticated invective. Unless you’ve gone to the moon that is.
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Go ahead and pat your back however you like, but I wouldn’t exactly call your posts “sophisticated”, much less “invective”. It would be akin to calling a bowl of Bakso a “gourmet meal”. I suppose “dim”, “provincial”, and “pathetic” would be more apt.
On the other hand,
Calling other people childish names doesn’t take much skill..
Unless you’re the one doing the name-calling, I see. Since you seem to be so bright, perhaps you can show me why the metaphor is – pardon my language – stupid, since nearly every post on this site pretty much backs it up.
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dewaratugedeanom says:
Sylvester said
So it is better for Indo to work hard rather than dreaming the glorious past that actually is still being debated.
Work hard and little pay
Only makes a lousy daySo we better start dreaming a new future and do something about it.
Majapahit will rule again. Merdeka! -
Australia sees itself as the “sheriff of the South Pacific.” It is important the world knows this is Indonesia’s playground. It is important the world knows the reason why.
I don’t think that Australia the nation (meaning it’s people as a whole) sees it’s self as the sheriff of the south pacific…. but even if it was, quite frankly if there has to be a sheriff (which I find an archaic attitude that we all need to grow out of) I’d rather have australian government being the sheriff than the indonesian government…. just because i feel they have to be more accountable. But enough of wasting my time and intellect on this bunch of burlesque! I had time for a few days, but now.. back to the real world and work! This is my first time in Australia in 20 years…. got things to do!
as an endnote….
I don’t understand why it’s important for the world to think of the south pacific as Indonesia’s playground. Why? you want to be an American arse licker like Australia? this is your ambition? the ambition of the Indonesian people? laudatory!‘whatever’ is what I say in response to an argument that I don’t feel needs an intelligent response.
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Sputjam says:
Nobody can convince australia or anybody to be a client state of majapahit unless majapahit can show itself to be a worthy leader in all fields including education, technology, discipline, moral standards, cleanliness, work ethics, good governance etc.
As it is, papua and possibly several other regions within indonesia wants out, not more regions wishing to come in. -
Aluang Anak Bayang says:
Assalamualaikum mbak Janma, re
I’d rather have australian government being the sheriff than the indonesian government”¦.
You can’t be serious? You would rather vouch for a gang of grog drinking POME (prisoners of Mother England) than our own refined Mojopahit noblemen. I happened to be in the land downunder – a land of rowdy barbarians where Ned Kelly and Ivan Milat are epitome of Australian-ness.
I question your intelligence.
Salam.
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Aluang said
I happened to be in the land downunder – a land of rowdy barbarians where Ned Kelly and Ivan Milat are epitome of Australian-ness.
Wait until you see ‘The Puppetry of the Penis’, Australia’s cultural export product by excellence.
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Foundation One,
Indonesia is like a little kid playing with mud and sh*t at the playground while the other kids have gone on to the moon.”
It’s stupid because you can make up any metaphor you want. Here’s one, “I had a teacher who said Foundation One was like a gibbon playing with a typewriter.” See ? Just doesn’t work.
Friend, you write like a foreigner, so I can only assume you are jealous of my mastery of economical, limpid prose.
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Limp prose more like it son!
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Well, Janma, I thought you were done with this burlesque. I can understand if you were tired of this burlesque. Who has time for burlesque these days.
On prose, burlesque is one of those words the great Fowler would have put under “Wardour Street,” in his 1916 work “the King’s English.” Like the silly antiques of Wardour Street in London (at least back then), it’s one of those ornaments the writer dusts off to try be clever, not to make themselves understood.
To be honest, I didn’t know what it meant until about 30 second ago. The American Heritage dictionary says Burlesque is:
NOUN:
1. A literary or dramatic work that ridicules a subject either by presenting a solemn subject in an undignified style or an inconsequential subject in a dignified style. See Synonyms at caricature.
2. A ludicrous or mocking imitation; a travesty: The antics of the defense attorneys turned the trial into a burlesque of justice.
3. A variety show characterized by broad ribald comedy, dancing, and striptease.So on second thoughts, it has quite a specific meaning, so for once Achmad is wrong and in this case indeed talking out his proverbial sir.
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I think michael jackson has song for this kind of syndrome called “man in the mirror” or something.
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Raden says:
It maybe Achmad was trying to apply Aussie PR and was turn-down by Aussie Immigration, it is a possibility on why is he so blind sided with the reality of Indon vs Aussie in this world map.
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Raden (Friend), in future posts, you will be stunned by my world-view, or as my friends Jung and Freud used to say in the salons and cafes, Weltanschauung. Friend, ultimately, it was also people with last names like Raden who helped the Bule to dominate us, so you just wait, Friend. Why would I swap one set of islands with surf for one racist place with vastly inferior waves and beaches?
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For one thing, many are swapping indo’s hot humid climate for the cool climate of ozzieland/new zealand. you can walk for miles and still feel fresh down under, or start stinking while standing still anywhere in South east asia.
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FiR says:
I think this “achmad sudarsono” man is another dreamer of the century. Not that I deny the possibility of the”inevitable” rising of Majapahit, but it’s just NOT gonna happen shortly with the mindsets and practices of typical Indonesians. I think you should avoid mentioning Australia in your argument rather than becoming biased in your points.
Yes…Australian lost in the rugby WC, but what about Indonesia? It has over 200 million people and its soccer team cannot even beat the Thai (for example). Is it adequate to judge Australians culture based on their rugby team? and How should we judge the Indonesians then?
Know the truth or Deny the truth!
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FiR,
You seem like a man who runs when faced with The Truth. Indonesia as an ancient civilization should be measured by different standards than Australia, which as a younger country is our junior. Respect for seniors is a part of many of our great Asian cultures.
The point is Australia lost in the Rugby because they play with Dollies and wear dresses and like to make little daisy chains. They’re the dreamers, sunshine.
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Wait until you see ‘The Puppetry of the Penis’, Australia’s cultural export product by excellence.
I just read on another blog dewaratugedeanom and Achmad Sudarsono are bringing their own version to Asia but its highly recommended you book a seat in the front row if you want to see anything.
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It’s ok, Oigal, we distribute magnifying glasses, telescopes, and binoculars to anyone who buys a ticket. 🙂
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Pena Budaya says:
This writing is nothing but hatred towards Australians by neglecting the facts that Indonesians may have similar qualities, or even worse. Let’s face it, firstly, many Indonesian pribumi are still discriminating Chinese Born Indonesians. Secondly, many Indonesians have no respects towards people who have homo sexual orientation. Thirdly, recent article published here had discussed that actually many regulations in Indonesia are bias gender and discrimnating women. And so on, and so on.
the writer said:
“Indonesia as an ancient civilization should be measured by different standards than Australia, which as a younger country is our junior. Respect for seniors is a part of many of our great Asian cultures.”Aha, what is exactly Asian cultures? Do you think Asians respect seniors more than Australians? Come on! Give me a break. How many regulation in Indonesia that protect social security for the elderly/seniors? Many elderly/seniors in Indonesia have to be depended to their children since they HAVE to and the kids HAVE to support them.
In Australia and most developed country have such well protected social security towards the elderly/seniors then the children can make use their earnings to support themselves, but it does not mean that the Australians do not care about the seniors. In fact they DO care about the seniors so then they create such well protected social security systems. I know some Australians and Western Europeans who care their parents so much and visiting their parents regularly.
I dont get why such article like this is being published. It is bias and only seeing an issue in single perspective. The fact about living in diversity world is that many perspectives should be considered before making any conclusion about an issue. And for the sake of humanity, please open you mind!
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sorry, forgive my English, I meant “Indonesian Born Chinese” not “Chinese Born Indonesians” ..
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Cukurungan says:
Pena Budaya said:
I dont get why such article like this is being published.
Cukurungan :
I don’t get why you were acting like a censorship institution. This article is opinion of Mr ACH….Mad, if you don’t agree with him with just say so full stop….do you think Mr Ach…Mad so blind? and knowing less than you about the social protection system in the modern country …come on…..you talked about bias and humanity …why you don’t take mirror and see yourself …your nickname is Pena Budaya…seemed a neutral stand but your smell told otherwise.
Comment on “Mojopahit Empire”.
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Majapahit empire is simply a fairytale brought by former Indo leaders to boost the national pride, especially during Dutch colonialism. Majapahit indeed was a greatest empire in Indonesia. However, different from China, Roman, and Persian Empires that directly controlled their all territories, Majapahit only controlled Java and Bali. Borneo, Sumatra, Maluku, Malaya were just the vassal state under its tributary, which was the same like Vietnam and Korea under Chinese Empire.
One thing to remember is Majapahit , together with Ceylon, Champa, etc paid tributary to the Ming court during the reign of Emperor Zhu Di who sent Admiral Zheng He grand fleet across Asia, Africa, and probably even further.
So it is better for Indo to work hard rather than dreaming the glorious past that actually is still being debated.