‘Fatwa’ on Social Networking – Facebook

May 26th, 2009, in IM Posts, Internet, by

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69 Comments on “‘Fatwa’ on Social Networking – Facebook”

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  1. avatar Brother Mouzone says:
    June 1st, 2009 at 10:58 am

    @ Monkey Hunter

    Just another try to prevent girls from marrying foreigners. Most of the stupid regulations or fatwas are about that single thing: Do not let the girls go with mister bule.

    YES! You’ve hit the nail on the head there. Everything the Indonesian government and the Islamic councils do is cunningly planned to make expatriates’ lives as miserable and difficult as possible and to make sure that their daughters don’t marry shifty heathen whiteys.

    No wonder it is so difficult for a white man to find an Indonesian wife… everyone’s out to get us!

    If bules could get the citizenship, if the could buy land and houses in Indonesia… if Indonesian girls had a chance to compare westerners with the locals then most of them would marry a white guy (so many already want one despite the extrem pressure from the culture, family, religion…).
    That’s the main goal of Islam in Indonesia. Keep the nice guys away.

    Of course, we’d need to ship in at least another 50 million eligible “bule” males to marry all these desperate Indonesian lasses but honestly, I think you are on to something here… eventually those inferior local males will just give up and start breeding with eachother and all those women who’ve been turning you down because of “pressure from the culture” will be yours. You’ll be beating them off with sticks.

  2. avatar ET says:
    June 2nd, 2009 at 11:20 pm

    Brother Mouzone said

    You seem to have confused this council of clerics with “Ze Germans” and you are getting wound up about roadblocks and telephone-checks that only exist in your head.

    If there are already virginity checks in some schools I wouldn’t be surprised if roadblocks and telephone checks are also on the horizon.

  3. avatar diego says:
    June 2nd, 2009 at 11:33 pm

    Brother Mouzone, may I ask you what’s your relationship with “Nation of Islam”? Are you black? Do you assasinate people?

  4. avatar zekky says:
    June 3rd, 2009 at 1:45 am

    Indonesian girls…would marry a white guy… despite the extrem pressure from the… family

    I always thought having a white spouse (especially if he converts) was a source of pride in Indonesian families, I’m not joking.
    From personal experience, I’ve found that even hard-line Muslim Indonesians like the idea of making the family complexion fairer.

  5. avatar Cukurungan says:
    June 3rd, 2009 at 8:41 am

    Just another try to prevent girls from marrying foreigners. Most of the stupid regulations or fatwas are about that single thing: Do not let the girls go with mister bule.

    The more correct sentese, we do not let our girls go with the mister bule kere because we have more than enough stock a species kere and we do not need to import another kere species

    That’s the main goal of Islam in Indonesia. Keep the nice guys away.

    Indonesian do not need a nice guy at all what we need is a rich guy even he is the bad one because we still can take his wealth and wipe out the bad dirt.

  6. avatar Stupid Bule says:
    June 3rd, 2009 at 9:51 am

    @ Cukurungan

    The more correct sentese, we do not let our girls go with the mister bule kere because we have more than enough stock a species kere and we do not need to import another kere species

    Your message must not have gotten through to the women I have dated here. They love imported species, and tell me that they are bored with Indonesian men. Their usual comments are; Indonesian men are poor lovers, uninteresting with a childlike mentality.

    Indonesian do not need a nice guy at all what we need is a rich guy even he is the bad one because we still can take his wealth and wipe out the bad dirt.

    tsk tsk tsk..this tells me you’re jealous of the money that Bule apparently have. Careful friend, you’re showing your true colours…

    Chin up Cukurungan, you’ll find a girl soon who enjoys being locked up.

  7. avatar Brother Mouzone says:
    June 3rd, 2009 at 1:23 pm

    @Diego

    Brother Mouzone, may I ask you what’s your relationship with “Nation of Islam”? Are you black? Do you assasinate people?

    1. I have never claimed to be a member of the NOI – nor have I said that I am not.

    2. My skin color is irrelevant to this discussion.

    3. I work here as a “consultant/contractor” for a number of political parties and factions.

    @Cukurungan

    we do not let our girls go with the mister bule kere because we have more than enough stock a species kere and we do not need to import another kere species

    From my observations, even an extremely “Kere” westerner can still find a woman here. Monkey Hunter’s posting was amusing because he seemed to be suggesting that the culture here is stacked against mixed marriages with westerners whereas the opposite is true…

  8. avatar Cukurungan says:
    June 3rd, 2009 at 2:27 pm

    Your message must not have gotten through to the women I have dated here. They love imported species, and tell me that they are bored with Indonesian men. Their usual comments are; Indonesian men are poor lovers, uninteresting with a childlike mentality.

    Ok…ok… I would like to talk between man to man…I just want to remind you… please do not rent an apartment on high floor so if once day your dollar is depleted and your girl love is fade away …you can go back to your own country safely

    tsk tsk tsk..this tells me you’re jealous of the money that Bule apparently have. Careful friend, you’re showing your true colours…

    Chin up Cukurungan, you’ll find a girl soon who enjoys being locked up

    There is no reason for us to hate the bule who has enough money but we do not want our street getting more slum because mass arrival of the bule kere…..it is much better to use our limited holy land for home of displaced Orang Utan rather than the another settlemen for the bule kere

  9. avatar Stupid Bule says:
    June 3rd, 2009 at 3:35 pm

    Ok…ok… I would like to talk between man to man…I just want to remind you… please do not rent an apartment on high floor so if once day your dollar is depleted and your girl love is fade away …you can go back to your own country safely

    What a shame it is that you have such a low opinion of Indonesian women. Maybe this is why you can’t land any…I’ll let you in on the ‘secret’ of why you are losing your ‘best’ women to Bule. It’s not about money or skin colour, it’s not about access to a country that doesn’t

  10. avatar Stupid Bule says:
    June 3rd, 2009 at 3:44 pm

    Continued…

    humiliate and persecute its women. It’s about the ability to listen to women. This is something Indonesian men are lacking. We Bule are able to listen and we like what we hear. We hear things like,”I hate Indonesian men”, “they are so rough and unromantic”, “they never care about my feelings”, “they are hopeless in bed”, and my personal favourite, “they have a small Penis”…

  11. avatar Stupid Bule says:
    June 3rd, 2009 at 4:06 pm

    There is no reason for us to hate the bule who has enough money but we do not want our street getting more slum because mass arrival of the bule kere

    This makes me laugh…Ha Haaaah…You also must have a small Brain to go with your small Penis…To blame Bule for your own inability to better govern yourselves, and for your lack of willingness to clean up your own mess, is funny to say the least…

    it is much better to use our limited holy land for home of displaced Orang Utan rather than the another settlemen for the bule kere

    I think it’s too late for that…We Bule are already here, and there are more of us coming. Your beloved Orang Utan are all but extinct due to your own apathetic attitudes.

  12. avatar diego says:
    June 3rd, 2009 at 6:22 pm

    my personal favourite, “they have a small Penis”…

    Umm… Stupid Bule, are you sure her supposedly “indonesian” (ex)boyfriend is actually indonesian? Probably it was chinese. Uhm.

  13. avatar diego says:
    June 3rd, 2009 at 6:25 pm

    Damn, can’t resist the trollitis attack….

  14. avatar Stupid Bule says:
    June 3rd, 2009 at 7:16 pm

    Umm… Stupid Bule, are you sure her supposedly “indonesian” (ex)boyfriend is actually indonesian? Probably it was chinese. Uhm.

    No, I’m certain they were talking about Indonesian Penises.

    Damn, can’t resist the trollitis attack….

    This would be a contradiction in terms….

    Pride is real killer isn’t it…

  15. avatar Astrajingga says:
    June 3rd, 2009 at 8:11 pm

    Now… now… take off your trousers, and be ready with a standardized ruler. A metal one is better, it’s more precise than the plastic one.

    Let’s check the fact:
    This is average penis size based on race:
    Asian White Black
    Min (Inches) 4.0 5.5 6.3
    Max 5.5 6.0 8.0
    Mean 4.8 5.8 7.1

    You think whitey has the longest penis? Not a chance! Black people is more endowed. And more…

    An expert (a scientist that pervert enough to liking measuring penis) concluded that difference in penis size isn’t based on race but rather on nationality or ethnicity.

    So, we’re talking about ethnicity here. Indonesian penises are small? Wait a minute, which ethnicity are you talking about. Although your girlfriend’s ex is surely not chinese, but I’m very sure that her ex bf is not Papuan nor Ambonese.

    Boy, how I proud to be Indonesian. Our Papuan and Ambonese countrymen surely never let us down!

  16. avatar Stupid Bule says:
    June 3rd, 2009 at 8:47 pm

    Now… now… take off your trousers, and be ready with a standardized ruler. A metal one is better, it’s more precise than the plastic one.

    I would, but I’d hate to see a grown man cry….he he

    Let’s check the fact:
    This is average penis size based on race:
    Asian White Black
    Min (Inches) 4.0 5.5 6.3
    Max 5.5 6.0 8.0
    Mean 4.8 5.8 7.1

    What about 50% White 50% Black dicks? What do your stats speak of?

    You think whitey has the longest penis? Not a chance! Black people is more endowed. And more…

    No I don’t…Being a half black half white Bule I’ll take your comments as a complement..thanks..:) Even if I was 100% Black I would still be Bule, as the word Bule doesn’t only refer to skin tone.

    An expert (a scientist that pervert enough to liking measuring penis) concluded that difference in penis size isn’t based on race but rather on nationality or ethnicity.

    So if it’s based on nationality this would mean it depends on where you are born..?? Are sure this experts name wasn’t Achmad?

    So, we’re talking about ethnicity here. Indonesian penises are small? Wait a minute, which ethnicity are you talking about. Although your girlfriend’s ex is surely not chinese, but I’m very sure that her ex bf is not Papuan nor Ambonese.

    I’m not talking about ethnicity, you are….You seem to know alot about your neighbour’s penis size. Is this something you do in your spare time, or is it more serious than that?

    Boy, how I proud to be Indonesian. Our Papuan and Ambonese countrymen surely never let us down!

    I’m glad your friends penises never let you down…????

    Can we change the subject to Vaginas…? I would feel more comfortable….

    Sorry I brought the subject up…( my last pun)

  17. avatar Odinius says:
    June 3rd, 2009 at 10:00 pm

    How did a threat about ‘fatwas’ and ‘facebook’ turn into a discussion about race and penis size?

  18. avatar Stupid Bule says:
    June 3rd, 2009 at 10:06 pm

    How did a threat about ‘fatwas’ and ‘facebook’ turn into a discussion about race and penis size?

    That was my fault, so let me apologise for bringing it up…ooops! there I go again…

  19. avatar Cukurungan says:
    June 3rd, 2009 at 10:37 pm

    What a shame it is that you have such a low opinion of Indonesian women. Maybe this is why you can’t land any…I’ll let you in on the ’secret’ of why you are losing your ‘best’ women to Bule. It’s not about money or skin colour, it’s not about access to a country that doesn’t

    Many thank God give us different preference about the woman, what you call as the best wowan but we consider her is only the best whore, it is for sale to whoever could get her with higher price and I tell you that our good woman is too afraid with your kind because we already inform her that the bule will not only shag the pussy but they will hit the anus as well therefore the most bule whore have abses and permanent damage in her onus

    It’s about the ability to listen to women. This is something Indonesian men are lacking. We Bule are able to listen and we like what we hear. We hear things like,”I hate Indonesian men”, “they are so rough and unromantic”, “they never care about my feelings”, “they are hopeless in bed”, and my personal favourite, “they have a small Penis”…

    Agree that our penis is too small for the vagina of the best whore therefore we sale it for you but our penis is still too big for a good woman even she already had 5 kids …I let you know that our good woman always drink Jamu and therefore, her pussy size is still intact and it is designed fit for purpose of our penis.

    I think it’s too late for that…We Bule are already here, and there are more of us coming. Your beloved Orang Utan are all but extinct due to your own apathetic attitudes.

    It is not too late, everything is still much in our control the bule could not settle and take ownership of land, we only allow them to stay in here until his last drop of dollar otherwise we will kick them back…..our government has been issuing many regulation to ensure that the only bule with enough dollar could stay in our holy land and the bule kere shall go back to their own country ASAP.

  20. avatar Stupid Bule says:
    June 3rd, 2009 at 11:39 pm

    Many thank God give us different preference about the woman, what you call as the best wowan but we consider her is only the best whore, it is for sale to whoever could get her with higher price and I tell you that our good woman is too afraid with your kind because we already inform her that the bule will not only shag the pussy but they will hit the anus as well therefore the most bule whore have abses and permanent damage in her onus

    Geez, just when you think it’s safe to come out, WHAM!

    Hello my good friend and comrade Cukurungan, I trust you are well tonight? How’s the mindless threats and intimidation going?

    Oh, you are so right about Bules and hitting the “anus”…There’s nothing wrong with a little Backdoor Tango from time to time… From what I hear you yourself enjoy a little ‘Ferreting’ from some of your younger comrades. Oh and abscesses are easily patched up with Gaffer tape and some Superglue, but I would expect someone with your experiences of anal pleasures would already know that.

    Agree that our penis is too small for the vagina of the best whore therefore we sale it for you but our penis is still too big for a good woman even she already had 5 kids …I let you know that our good woman always drink Jamu and therefore, her pussy size is still intact and it is designed fit for purpose of our penis.

    Gosh! I really appreciate your candour comrade. How long have you been having these nightmares of the BIG BAD BULE coming to steal “your” women?

    Yes, I did notice from a certain young lady who I was ravishing, in a typically Bule fashion, that she had drank way too much of that Jamu…(if you know what I mean?)

    It is not too late, everything is still much in our control the bule could not settle and take ownership of land, we only allow them to stay in here until his last drop of dollar otherwise we will kick them back…..our government has been issuing many regulation to ensure that the only bule with enough dollar could stay in our holy land and the bule kere shall go back to their own country ASAP.

    Let me get this straight…Did you say Money and Holy in the same sentence…??? Tsk tsk, Allah will not be pleased…

  21. avatar Lairedion says:
    June 3rd, 2009 at 11:48 pm

    Sorry guys, I’m waiting for the average size of Spaniards as there seems to be a difference between Northern and Southern Europeans. After that I can determine whether my size is an average of Spanish Mediterranean and Melayu Indonesian. :-)

  22. avatar Stupid Bule says:
    June 4th, 2009 at 12:02 am

    Wait!!! we’re supposed to be discussing Fatwas and Facebook….

    Fatwa = Good
    Facebook = Flirting and Fornicating = Bad
    Fatwa + Facebook = Less Flirting and Fornicating = Not Good Enough
    Fatwa+ Fatwa = Zero Flirting and Fornicating = Happy Days
    Facebook + Facebook = XXX = Unhappy Fatwas

  23. avatar Stupid Bule says:
    June 4th, 2009 at 12:18 am

    Lairedion

    Sorry guys, I’m waiting for the average size of Spaniards as there seems to be a difference between Northern and Southern Europeans. After that I can determine whether my size is an average of Spanish Mediterranean and Melayu Indonesian.

    1. Let’s check the fact:
    This is average penis size based on race:
    Asian White Black
    Min (Inches) 4.0 5.5 6.3
    Max 5.5 6.0 8.0
    Mean 4.8 5.8 7.1

    Well, if we were to apply the table of contents above kindly supplied by Astrajingga and average the G.D.P. of Spain, then, divide the inversed numerical value expressed as a longitudinal logarithm of your exact birth place, then multiply that figure by the latitudinal degree minus your age, and you will come to the astronomical number 42%

    Sorry it’s the best I can do on ‘short’ notice..( I promise that’s my last pun)

  24. avatar a-matter-of-fact says:
    June 4th, 2009 at 1:09 am

    I am unsure if people are aware of certin remarks mde by DPR or MPR members even ministers.

    Like

    “If the Indonesia Chinese don’t like it they can go somewhere else”

    “If the Indonesian don’t want to be robbed they should help th pribumis”

    JK said ” The Indonesian Chinese want to be robbed or be killed and burne”

    These were remrks to the effect that in fact provocated premans and pribumis to behave in a more arrogant manner. Wh say you. I think their mouth stinks even more.

    I am also unsure if those rings a bell.

    These Fat wats are from people trying to get attention and be outspoken. In order to refrain others from communicating wireless, I am sure he is aware that the 1998 riot was done through mass wireless communication. So they are afraid of others exchanging remarks that could damage the mage of the religion he preach.

    They should create a network called perhaps the QURBOOK strictly for Islamics only. And perhaps with sribbling worm like writing all over it to make it interesting.

  25. avatar Astrajingga says:
    June 4th, 2009 at 4:22 pm

    Lair, if you follow both of links on my last comment, you’ll find average size for Malay and Spaniard. I won’t go the detail because this is so off-topic, I just realized, and I was taking it too personal.

    Anyway, I just don’t want to give more reason for muslim clerics to later make fatwa haram on IM.

  26. avatar Stupid Bule says:
    June 4th, 2009 at 10:56 pm

    Anyway, I just don’t want to give more reason for muslim clerics to later make fatwa haram on IM.

    Sssshhhhhh!! yes you’re right let’s not talk about the “p…..is” or “v…..na”. You’re right to be afraid of your upcoming oppressors, Ooops I mean moral leaders.

    I want to formally apologise to all Fatwa issuing Muslim Clerics for my disgusting behaviour here on IM. I truly have a dirty little potty mouth that needs regular cleaning. I have been a very naughty little boy, and I believe that by the time I finish writing this post, I will be a changed man. Please don’t issue a Fatwa on IM because I mentioned filthy disgusting repulsive words such as, the ‘P’ word and ‘V’ word. I take full responsibility for my outrageous comments, and would be willing to undergo a full public whipping or beating, whichever you may recommend.

    Furthermore, I would like to begin my newfound morality with a suggestion that I believe will assist in your quest for civil obedience. I suggest that we replace these dirty Bule words with the word, “FATWA”. For example; I have an erect FATWA for that girl, I hope she will show me her FATWA. However, I do see that the context in which I am using the word FATWA in these examples indicates crude malice intent. Therefore, I have the final, ultimate solution. We simply replace all words known to mankind with the word, FATWA. As you will see this completely removes any known knowns or known unknowns or unknown unknowns from speech. An example could be based on my thoughts about let’s say…. ‘Land Rights for Gay Whales’. It would read, Fatwa fatwa fatwa fatwa, fatwa fatwa fatwa. Fatwa, fatwa fatwa fatwa…etc.

    As you can see this is the most effective method in speech control.

    Consider me cured and totally reformed.

    Yours Fatwaingly,
    Stupid Bule
    Retired Chicken hunter
    Reformed alcoholic
    Repentant Rapist
    Astronaut

  27. avatar Astrajingga says:
    June 4th, 2009 at 11:56 pm

    Stupid Bule
    Retired Chicken hunter
    Reformed alcoholic
    Repentant Rapist
    Astronaut

    Clearly picturing your personality, but the last line… I think it’s a lie, at least that’s what you hope that you are–when you’re a kid. On the second thought, I think the ‘retired’, ‘reformed’ and ‘repentant’ are also lies.

    But you’re right, soon enough, we’ll have new language, fatwa language, replacing our ‘standardized Bahasa Indonesia’ and I think we’ll also have our version of Ingsoc, which is Musric–for Muslim Cleric & Co.

  28. avatar Lairedion says:
    June 5th, 2009 at 12:39 am

    Hatur nuhun, kang…

  29. avatar Stupid Bule says:
    June 5th, 2009 at 2:32 am

    Clearly picturing your personality, but the last line… I think it’s a lie, at least that’s what you hope that you are–when you’re a kid. On the second thought, I think the ‘retired’, ‘reformed’ and ‘repentant’ are also lies.

    I think we’re all Astronauts travelling through Space in a big spaceship named Earth.

    As for ‘retired’, ‘reformed’ and ‘repentant’, I never let the truth get in the way of a good story.

    I think we’ll also have our version of Ingsoc, which is Musric–for Muslim Cleric & Co.

    Who will play the part of Winston Smith? Seriously though, I think there are versions of Ingsoc immerging all over the globe. Nothing to be afraid of, because we’ll still have each other to beat-up on…:)

  30. avatar diego says:
    June 5th, 2009 at 5:33 am

    Stupid bule,

    Ok, you said you are repentant rapist. Fine. But I just want to know, what did you rape? I mean, the species (which I suppose it’s gotta be human) and the age. Thank you.

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