CIA & FBI Conspiracy Theories

Feb 6th, 2009, in Opinion, by

Achmad wonders what is behind Indonesia's trail of natural disasters.

Achmad Sudarsono

The CIA and FBI are behind Indonesia's Natural Disasters

Halo All My Seksi Friend,

As I was strumming Koes Ploes songs on my Ukulele in the rice fields this evening, I found the time to reflect on the recent natural disasters that have hit Indonesia.

There have been tsunamis, earthquakes, landslides, global warming, floods, and the threat of volcanic eruptions.

I wondered, as my fingers picked out the tunes to Koes Ploes classics, why all of sudden do we face such woes? Then, as I slammed back my 10th Teh Poci and 3rd packet of Gudang Garam kreteks, I realized.

The CIA and the FBI engineered them all to prevent Indonesia's rise to the greatness of the Mojopahit Empire.

Sure, I wouldn't be surprised if the MI-6 and other agencies were in on the act as well. After all, none of the world's superpowers want Indonesia to reverse engineer all the U.F.O. technology we have buried in our ancient temples and ruins. They want it for themselves.

So, friend, there is simply no other rational explanation behind phenomenon such as the 2004 tsunami or 2006 earthquake in Central Java.

Consider this:

* Who else has the technology ?

* Why did the USS Abraham Lincoln, the U.S. naval aircraft carrier, arrive in Banda Aceh in 2004 so quickly? They didn't come to pose for foto-fotoan at tourism objects, (obyek wisata)! I am sure they sent all their engineers and demolitions experts to ensure that the work had been properly completed. The same for all the other natural disasters.

So, as I asked when Engelbert Humperdinck sold his Harley Davidson in 2005, why God, why?

Seksi Friend,

Indonesia is gradually, quietly on its way to becoming a global superpower, and in, fact, the world's greatest cultural force. Think of it -- now we have shows like "Extravaganza", "Termehek-Mehek," and "Suami-Suami Takut Istri" ? Why were none of these shows nominated at the Golden Globes?

Suami-Suami Takut Istri
Snubbed at the Globes

Our movies, especially of the horror variety put all of Hollywood, and even America's Indy scene to shame? What American film could ever match recent classics such as "Pintu Terlarang," or "Hantu Ambulans," not to mention the "Suster Ngesot" series, possibly the zenith of Asian cinema since Akira Kurosawa.

Hollywood, as we all know, has controlled the White House since Ronald Reagan was elected. Look at all the entertainers who endorsed Barack Obama! Look at the Governor of California, Pak Arnolds Schwarzeneggers.

Of course, I am just a humble poet and many IM matters are more learned than I am. But sometimes, it is we Rakyat, ordinary people, who see things clearly. I take another drag on my 60th kretek for the day. Now I sip my final Teh Poci and look forward to my nightly Jamu as I listen to the Tokek lizards cheep-cheeping away looking at the sun set over the sawah.


206 Comments on “CIA & FBI Conspiracy Theories”

  1. avatar ET says:

    Abudabi

    The American imperialists, globalists, and infidels do everything to keep the largest and greatest Moslem nation from taking its rightful place. How is it possible that in all these years Indonesia has made so little progress?

    No, no, no. Pak Achmad is either wrong or he wants to mislead us. It is not the CIA, the FBI or MI6 who are responsible for the dire straits our beloved and great nation is in. It’s the aliens, the ET’s who had once build their UFO-launching sites at Borobudur and Prambanan and are now infiltrating and causing natural havoc in order to weaken our heroic and upright people and regain possession of these technological wonders without too much trouble. And their scheming isn’t even limited to natural disasters. By infiltrating the FPI, the MUI and even the DPR they lobby for the voting of anti-pornography laws and similar nonsense to create discord among the various cultures that constitute the basis of the Pancasila thereby making our proud motto ‘Bhinneka Tunggal Eka’ to an empty farce. The ensuing social unrest and SARA are the secret weapons by which they will further undermine the legendary sense of unity of the rakyat, turning the proud Garuda into a miserable chicken affected by flu burung.

    Pak Achmad is probably a double agent who has gone over to the other side. Wasn’t it him in the first place who has drawn our attention to the similarity between those historical sites and the obvious characteristics of a space laboratory. But now in a sudden turn of phrase he wants us to believe his conspiracy theory of western powers trying to prevent the resurrection of the Majapahit empire. No, Pak Achmad, your deliberate attempts to hide your true nature by highlighting your musical, poetical and sports talents have no effect on us.

    But if he is right then he could also be a prophet. Peace be upon him.

  2. avatar Achmad Sudarsono says:

    Laired,

    Ok. Fair enough. Yes, I meant the 30-year old guy. But again, hope he’s doing great. But I stick to my guns about the “virtual natural disasters.” You said it yourself, the post is like the thought of PDI-P or PKS politicians. So I wonder if the post will make them be taken more or less seriously ? But ok. Let’s drop it. Sorry if it got personal.

  3. avatar schmerly says:

    @ET.. Nice one.

  4. avatar Oigal says:

    Assmad,

    “Go fight a bushfire. ” It’s really a matter of degrees on how low can you isn’t it. You have my sympathy, must be sad to have such low self worth that you demeaning others is the only joy you have in life (doesn’t really work tho does it)

    As an aside, the inference that Western Military Forces somehow profit from disaster relief donations/funds is worthy of lowest kind of spin award as well you know. Military costs come direct from the defence budget and is subject to some bizarre sort of invoicing back to affect country. A set of presented “facts” below your usual standard (you are running out of any redeemable attributes)

    Although the UN does fund a number of developing nations to provide “peace keepers” . Indonesia being one of them.

    Having said that, you do have a point an increasing number of people are questioning the use of Taxpayer funded organisations to provide assistance time and again and in the process prop up corrupt and despotic governments.

  5. avatar achmad Sudarsono says:

    Hi Oigal,

    Yes, well, on the bushfire you have a point. I only found out about Victoria after I’d written it, not that it’s an acceptable excuse. Sorry Victoria. Sorry Oigal.

    On the military – wrong again. It was an inference. It was more of an accusation. And it wasn’t “western military forces,” it was the ADF in Aceh and in Papua New Guinea for the famine.

    In the 2004 case, it got billed, as far as I know, to AUSAID. So you’ve got a military that does the job at 2-3 times the competitive price (since when does the ADF do tenders?). That money can’t then go to organizations that do have to tender competitively.

    Of course they profit. Danger pay, deployment pay, whatever you call it. Disaster relief is a nice gig, because it doesn’t bring the military risks of somewhere like East Timor.

    It’s not a question Australians like asking – how much do these expeditions cost ? They’re too busy humming, “hey true blue,” to themselves and buying newspapers reporting Schappelle Corby’s travails when kids die of malnutrition in nearby Lombok.

  6. avatar Oigal says:

    Mmmm..Apology excepted, I must admit I thought even a new low even for you.

    It would be difficult to debate the issue of funding as it as best complex and shapeshifting according to political need at the time, which by itself renders your comments invalid and inaccurate. AusAid itself is a goverment funded and chartered organisation (unlike say CARE for instance which does although receive some government sponsorship).

    I would dispute that AUSAID got billed for the cost of ADF deployment for by your own logic, The ADF bill would be enormous and far beyond the ability of AUSAID to pay anyway. I think your call on this one calls for a reference or withdrawal as pile of smelly horse’sh*t.

    Again though even accepting your dubious generalisations.

    “That money can’t then go to organizations that do have to tender competitively.”

    What is your alternative, who or what else has the capability?

    I agree there is significant difference in value for money provided, I was honestly surprised on how little (comparitively) that their employees are paid in comparison to a number of more high profile aid organisations. Additionally there is huge difference in achievements vs dollars between organisations.

    You are of course correct that ADF (and others) get allowances etc when deployed although these pale into insignifance when compared to the gravy train enjoyed by UN employees and goverment officials in these areas..

    To get back to the point, it remains one thing to belittle and use sarcasm to make point, it remains just plain low to use other peoples suffering to do it.

  7. avatar Oigal says:

    It’s not a question Australians like asking – how much do these expeditions cost ? They’re too busy humming, “hey true blue,”

    Bugger..Missed this..

    Too true.. I agree, the question should be asked how much to these expeditions cost and more to the point, is there any point in proping up a goverment that cares less about its people than outsiders?

    humming to themselves and buying newspapers reporting Schappelle Corby’s travails when kids die of malnutrition in nearby Lombok.

    Corby..who cares but I take your point..but again who should really be concerned about the kid in Lombok??…Perhaps a nation that spends more time yawling and scrawling about some centuries old dispute in the middle east than their own children starving to death (btw Lombok is one of how many aread with starving children in the richest country in SE Asia?)

  8. avatar Burung Koel says:

    In the 2004 case, it got billed, as far as I know, to AUSAID.

    I would dispute that AUSAID got billed for the cost of ADF deployment for by your own logic,

    @AS and Oigal

    AusAID didn’t get “billed”, and Defence expenditure doesn’t appear in AusAID’s line budget, nor are Defence or other government agency services “contracted”. There are usually separate appropriations for so-called “whole of government” aid, which uses agencies like the AFP, Customs etc to deliver programs.

    However, this and other Australian government agency expenditure gets included in total ODA (Official Development Assistance) figures for Australia.

  9. avatar Burung Koel says:

    As an aside, the inference that Western Military Forces somehow profit from disaster relief donations/funds is worthy of lowest kind of spin award as well you know. Military costs come direct from the defence budget and is subject to some bizarre sort of invoicing back to affect country. A set of presented “facts” below your usual standard (you are running out of any redeemable attributes)

    Although the UN does fund a number of developing nations to provide “peace keepers” . Indonesia being one of them.

    Actually, this is off topic but quite interesting. For peacekeeping duties, the UN pays each participating country a flate rate per soldier. It used to be something like US$ 9,000 per annum. So, for countries like Fiji, where wages are low, being involved in peacekeeping missions resulted in a net return to their armed forces. That’s why you seen Fijians in Lebanon, East Timor and lots of other places. For a country like Australia, the cost of a soldier is far greater than the UN limit, so participation in peacekeeping missions costs the ADF in dollar terms. The richer countries also help pay through higher UN membership contributions and funding for peacekeeping missions at the central level.

    I think it’s a pretty fair system. Although in East Timor I heard that Ghanaian soldiers had to bribe their way onto the UNTAET and UNMISET missions, as the returns to them as individuals were quite lucrative.

  10. avatar Oigal says:

    Thanks BK. I appreciate your input and knowledge as it is not my area of expertise (some would say that is yet to be found). However the statement that ADF “billed” AUSAID was just strange/nasty and just plain incorrect considering the amount that “bill” would be.

    I agree and interesting (off) topic, beneath the bile and personal snipes I think Assmad is alluding to the fact (deliberately or not) that the best mode of AID delivery may not be the traditional platforms.

    Should the UN contract out all forms of AID and programe delivery to commercial concerns operating at commercially expected profit margins? It has been argued that dollar for dollar more aid would actually get to the ground. Certainly no commercial organisation would accept the waste that occurs in an organisation like the UN. Who would moniter the issue? (This of course also brings up the outrage when AID organisations contract professional fund raisers at commercial rates to bring in funds)

    I can tell you from experience that for nations like Fiji and Ghana the UN payment to their military is a key factor in maintaining any sort of capability (and yes very good for the soldiers as well..lots of goodies to take home)

  11. avatar Burung Koel says:

    the best mode of AID delivery may not be the traditional platforms

    There’s a whole debate in the development community on “forms of aid” and “aid effectiveness”, leading up to, and resulting from, the Paris Declaration in 2005. I confess that I may have been responsible for some of it. If you’re interested, the OECD has a great resource on aid performance at:

    http://www.oecd.org/department/0,2688,en_2649_33721_1_1_1_1_1,00.html

    Which includes Australia’s latest aid “report card”. So someone is monitoring it, albeit at a high level.

    You have to remember that any discussion of aid delivery is ideology driven, whether by neo-conservative privatisers, government bureaucrats or NGOs. All bring their biases to the table. Our colleague AS is quite right that aid agencies do not make best use of local resources, overhead costs are extremely high and money goes to the wrong priorities – any aid worker with field experience can give you hundreds, if not thousands of examples. I’m waiting until I retire and I can put them in a book!

    However, that doesn’t mean that there is a single, right answer. No one approach may be significantly better than another in a particular situation. And most aid agencies can’t even tell, since they invest so little in evaluation, and in using the results of those evaluations. Being an empiricist myself, I prefer the philosophy outlined by Jeffrey Sachs in “The End of Poverty”: Try lots of different things, find the ones that work, then scale them up.

  12. avatar Achmad Sudarsono says:

    So, Oigal, BK.

    If I make a claim, it’s “strange/nasty and just plain incorrect,” whereas if BK does, it’s thank YOU ?? What basis does BK have to make this claim ?

    But, ok, to Burung Koel – are you claiming the ADF’s participation did not divert funds that would otherwise have been channeled to professional (as in full time), aid organizations such as AUSAID ?

    It sounds like you’re saying that the funding for ADF deployment is over and above what would normally go on the aid budget.

    Oigsy, said that AUSAID would not have been able to pay the bill. I’ve heard it said many times that the ADF does very well out of disaster relief, and whilst needed in the early stages, often continues to do the job at an expensive rate because of the perks.

  13. avatar Achmad Sudarsono says:

    BK,

    Why don’t you do a piece explaining the different opinions and the main players – as in:

    NGOs
    militaries
    bureaucrats
    Whoever ?

    Seems from the outside that disaster aid (and aid in general), which should be a powerful weapon in the service of international compassion, gets kicked around like a political football. From the outside, it’s hard to follow the debates.

    Maybe the community likes to keep it internal exactly because of the political forces. But seeing as this forum allows some anonymity, maybe you could shed some light ? Its obvious to me that the CIA creates these disasters, but what’s the solution ?

  14. avatar Burung Koel says:

    It sounds like you’re saying that the funding for ADF deployment is over and above what would normally go on the aid budget.

    Normally, it would be. The aid budget is “over-programmed” in each financial year, which means very little is readily available for large scale disasters. Within an agency like AusAID, programs can be adjusted within each financial year to make some money available for emergency relief, but this has already been appropriated by parliament, and remains within the agency’s purview. If the ADF are called in, then they will usually get a separate appropriation, as well as using their existing budget resources as much as they can. You may remember that after the Indian Ocean Tsunami, Australia announced a package of assistance totalling A$ 1 billion. This was drawn from existing AusAID funds, new appropriations, new programs of other agencies and a series of loans for specific new programs. When the earthquake hit Central Java, that assistance also came from this package.

    Why don’t you do a piece explaining the different opinions and the main players

    I’d love to, if I had the time.

  15. avatar DumadiSatrio says:

    Pak Achmad, I think there is more to this story.
    The REAL motive, if you will, is that all these groups are working for the Saudis.

    It is part of a conspiracy to keep the flow of seksi pembantus and cheap labor going to the desert. The Saudis are scared of roles being reversed.

    The Arabs dont want their kids getting names like Dewi and not be able to berate costumes officers at Soekarno-Hatta, or do any work for themselves….so they are trying to destroy Javanese culture and Indonesian economy. Maybe the bule is a tool, but they would only be working for their Oil Masters in Arabia.

    Trust me, follow up on that

  16. avatar Oigal says:

    Assmad,

    The difference is if you act like and ass then expect to get treated like one. Your generalisation that the ADF invoiced AUSAID (aka the evil military charges some innocent Aid Organisation for assistance) was designed purely provoke and was based in the lowest levels of malice rather than anything useful. It was also a silly statement for a start ADF and AUSAID are both Australian Government Organisations (better to have picked another AID deliverer but that would have perhaps removed that direct “oz” refence hey?).

    Secondly the amount that would had been charged would have blown AUSAID’s budget for the next 20 years, so again silly!

    Now, the point that if the military were not involved then more more could have been allocated to AUSAID is cute but once again silly, it may well have been allocated to single moms named Joan in Sydneys Western Suburbs, the assumption that money saved will be reallocated to the same cause is just naive. Interestingly, the one of the issues faced by the ADF is virtually even time a dollar is saved or regained by the government in “charging” for ADF services (yes it does happen just not like what you state) that money goes back into consolidated revenue not to the ADF therefore little incentive to return unused resources in a particular area (the expensive use it or lose it budget plan).

    I’ve heard it said many times that the ADF does very well out of disaster relief, and whilst needed in the early stages, often continues to do the job at an expensive rate because of the perks.

    Heard it said?? Perhaps you should seek out more informed lunatics, it actually knocks the crap out of operational budgets and equipment. Where on earth do you get the idea the length of an AID deployment has anything to with the ADF. One of the reasons the ADF does not respond immediatly to disasters even in Australia is they must wait for an official written request from the civilian government “Aid to the Civil Power” length of deployment and level of support is a civilian government role and task

  17. avatar achmad Sudarsono says:

    Temper, Temper, Oigal. Seem to have struck a raw nerve.

    Interestingly, the one of the issues faced by the ADF is virtually even time a dollar is saved or regained by the government in “charging” for ADF services (yes it does happen just not like what you state) that money goes back into consolidated revenue not to the ADF therefore little incentive to return unused resources in a particular area (the expensive use it or lose it budget plan).

    So how does it happen ?

  18. avatar schmerly says:

    Its obvious to me that the CIA creates these disasters, but what’s the solution ?

    Ask the Aliens?

  19. avatar Oigal says:

    Temper?? not me Assmad, just answering your question why the differing responses. You have long ceased to raise any emotion except pity.

    It’s to bad oreally as I said elsewhere, your one redeeming feature was your assertions and references (the semi-serious ones at least) were normally fairly accurate, albeit left field, rarely relevent and designed to provoke or mislead the the discussion. Alas in your never ending quest for attention even that aspect of your cyber personality has fallen into the moth eaten pile of yestertimes.

    At the risk of yet another misdirection,

    by the government in “charging” for ADF services (yes it does happen just not like what you state)

    This occasionally happens when the ADF is called upon and approved to act in support of purely commercial activity. Normally requires endless approvals before it can be done but it does. Certainly not in the form to create a supporting point for your sad little accusations.

    However, the point that you seem to have missed (if it was a snake it would have bit you fair between the sarongs), is even if your silly assertion was true, and Aid Agencies were billed it does the ADF no good because the money would have gone back into “consolidated revenue” not the ADF coffers.

    Now come on diddums, gave you the out with “inference” but you insisted with the stronger “accusation” time to put up or shut up? BTW “I have heard many times” does not count that much tho.

    Now do try and pay attention, and we really should get back to the topic at hand (perhaps this deserves its own thread at a later time and perhaps an anti AS lock) until the adults finish talking.

  20. avatar Achmad Sudarsono says:

    Ogle,

    And why should we belive you ?

  21. avatar Oigal says:

    Assmad.. I don’t have to prove the negative, its your post, although consolidated revenue for oz goverment should not be too hard to google. Sheesh..you really are slipping aren’t you.

    Ssssh..What’s that sound??…is it a straw man falling?

  22. avatar Achmad Sudarsono says:

    Ordinary attempt at ducking the question.

    My post was about how the CIA and FBI engineered the tsunami to prevent the 2nd rise of the Mojopahit Empire.

    I don’t really have time to go Googling through the public finances of a mediocre and irrelevant little country. So I ask again — were are you getting your figures – or just pulling them out of somewhere unsavory ?

  23. avatar Oigal says:

    Ordinary attempt at ducking the question.

    I agree, you should really answer therefore one can only assume this particular thread is done n dusted. I shall pick ze trophy on the way out. Sorry but only fun when you are at your best, which is not today and real work calls

  24. avatar schmerly says:

    That’s a typical Assmad non answer, “I don’t really have time to go Googling through the public finances of a mediocre and irrelevant little country” are you afraid you might find out the truth? you seem to have plenty of time spouting your crack pot theory’s, you really are a pathetic little crank.
    I’ll refer to my previous post, have you spoken to the Aliens yet?

  25. avatar achmad Sudarsono says:

    Well, Ogle, I can understand why you wouldn’t want to reveal your alternate identity, how that might’ve colored the discussed, and how you might’ve got your little factoids. but real work calls for me too.

  26. avatar Aluang Anak Bayang says:

    Mas Achmad,

    Don’t let these creeps undermine us. There must be some hidden embarrassing truth, otherwise why would someone get overexcited on theories. Let’s not be too shy to reveal.

  27. avatar Achmad Sudarsono says:

    Bpk AAB Yth,

    It’s alright. The Truth will prevail. Soon I will announce a bold plan that will make the Bules tremble.

    Merdeka !

  28. avatar TheWrathOfGrapes says:

    Why did the USS Abraham Lincoln, the U.S. naval aircraft carrier, arrive in Banda Aceh in 2004 so quickly?

    No lah AchMad – the Singaporeans did it. The Singapore Navy’s Landing Crafts and the Singapore Air Force’s Super Puma arrived first.

    On 26 December 2004, all Singaporeans decided to flush their toilets at the same time, causing a massive tidal wave. The rest, as they say, is history…

  29. avatar schmerly says:

    There’s a rumour going round that us heathens AKA White Men, AKA Bules, AKA Kaffirs, had better watch out! as there’s a cunning plan afoot, a little man is sitting in the middle of a padi field somewhere in Java playing a ukulele, whilst next to him sits his friend the local paranormal, and he’s reciting poetry especially penned for the occasion, and all this cacophony is designed to incite the wrath of the ALIENS!! Who are going to beam down and sort out the heathens AKA White Men, AKA Bules, AKA Kaffirs, and it will be no good us running to the CIA or FBI for help, because all their good at is crating “natural” disasters!
    So that’s it then our world will change, but not as we know it!!

  30. avatar Achmad Sudarsono says:

    You got it, Schmerly.

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