Dating Indonesian Girls

Apr 4th, 2006, in Girls, IM Posts, Opinion, by

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4,601 Comments on “Dating Indonesian Girls”

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  1. avatar berlian biru says:
    February 12th, 2012 at 6:18 pm

    I have never witnessed the sheer amount of bule / local cewek combination. LAst night a typical saturday there were 14 couples. im not bothered by it

    Indeed, and why the hell would you be “bothered” by it? Why would anybody be “bothered” by mixed-race couples? It’s not Arkansas circa 1925 you know, we’ve moved on a bit these days.

  2. avatar indomanado says:
    February 13th, 2012 at 7:53 pm

    Arkansas I dont know where that is and why the hell should i care? i’m from a grey hinterland somewhere in Northern Europe.
    and I have all the right to comment on what i noticed right?

  3. avatar berlian biru says:
    February 14th, 2012 at 9:30 am

    I never said you couldn’t comment, I was commenting on your comment, which I notice you have failed to address.

    What did you mean that you weren’t “bothered” by the mixed-race couples? What is there for anyone, other than a racist (hence Arkansas allusion, have you seriously never heard of the place?), to get bothered about?

  4. avatar frankygth says:
    February 14th, 2012 at 4:22 pm

    ‘weren’t bothered’ probably means ‘I don’t mind, cozz this is the 21st century in which race is getting less and less important’. In my opinion a healthy attitude……..no reason to go back to Arkansas in 1925…….and certainly no need to feel offended….so relax, it is Valentine day 2012….also in Arkansas hillbilly country…..:)

  5. avatar frankygth says:
    February 14th, 2012 at 4:23 pm

    and feel free to correct me if I am wrong…….freedom of speech you know….

  6. avatar saghar says:
    February 14th, 2012 at 10:39 pm

    i want a good girl for Good Friend Ship

  7. avatar Anna says:
    February 15th, 2012 at 2:25 am

    hahaha… The comments that you guys make are really interesting. But FYI, I’m Indonesian (although I don’t look like it), 26 and also well-travelled. I find that most expats in Indonesia aren’t really looking for a long-term relationship. To me, they all are looking for, well, quick and easy sex and since having a bule boyfriend/husband is considered as a status symbol (Oh, her husband is bule… wow…) those girls will do almost anything to get a bule boyfriend. Not to mention that an expat could increase their standards of living. Hmm, a word of advice to all single expats looking for a meaningful relationship, don’t be shy to chat up that cute Indonesian girl working on her computer in the coffee shop or if you see someone you like in a bookstore. Chances are, girls that hang out in places like that are more intelligent and isn’t just looking for the money :)
    Good luck!

  8. avatar Nay says:
    February 15th, 2012 at 6:46 am

    those girls will do almost anything to get a bule boyfriend.

    Not all of them. Some draw a line in the sand. Some want me to join their religion, marry them, take charge of the relationship (whatever that means) while trying to tell me what to do! *Sigh*. They would have me think that I’m chasing after them when they themselves are actually the ones that have to prove themselves to me…. NOT the other way around!

    Then there are the “sex deniers” who figure that they’ll hold out on having sex until marriage, when they’ve already fooled around with the local neighbourhood “bad boy” street corner guitar player. Hint to the ladies: the sex withholding stunt only works if the man is an idiot and isn’t getting any. If he’s getting sex already, that stunt makes him lose respect for you.

    If you’re a single bule man with his life together and in order, there is the problem of having most of the women line you up as husband material…. and they start treating you differently. To make any headway in a normal relationship, that dream has to be destroyed at the earliest possible opportunity. I just start asking the girls “If you want me to love you and only you in marriage, what are you going to give me to make me stop seeing all these other girlfriends of mine?” … the answers I get from this are hilarious. If I ever needed any proof that these girls didn’t have my best interests at heart, that question lures them out.

    So it’s not all cut and dried. It’s not that bule men don’t want long term relationships. It’s just getting those relationships ON OUR TERMS which is the hard part. Plenty of easier sex in the meantime however keeps the frustration at bay!

  9. avatar deta says:
    February 15th, 2012 at 3:36 pm

    don’t be shy to chat up that cute Indonesian girl working on her computer in the coffee shop or if you see someone you like in a bookstore. Chances are, girls that hang out in places like that are more intelligent

    We never know. She probably only needs free hotspot in the coffee shop to chat with her friends through facebook. As for the bookstore, she could be just wandering in there, looking for a copy of “How to Catch Mr Bule”. :D

  10. avatar berlian biru says:
    February 15th, 2012 at 5:24 pm

    What bookstore? Are there any in Indonesia?

  11. avatar timdog says:
    February 15th, 2012 at 6:02 pm

    Of course there are ET, but they only sell Japanese children’s comics to 20-something graduates, and books called “Ten Steps to Wealth and Happiness”, “Jesus Wants you to be Rich”, and “Konspirasi Yehudi Dalam Indonesia”…

  12. avatar berlian biru says:
    February 15th, 2012 at 6:40 pm

    Don’t forget the big coffee table books with nice pictures of houses (or food) in Bali.

  13. avatar timdog says:
    February 15th, 2012 at 6:45 pm

    Ah yes, them too. And Cosmopolitan; lots of copies of Cosmopolitan… ;-)

  14. avatar indomanado says:
    February 15th, 2012 at 9:04 pm

    arkansas? i won t be bothered as US people assume we all know our US topography inside out

    I think it’s hill billy land ok??

    I would be called a racist if i d say the local girls are lower then slaves to go hang around with bules. I dont’ comment anything on it as it’s good for my business.. hell I even stimulate it as I pocket the money from it:)

  15. avatar ET says:
    February 16th, 2012 at 10:45 am

    Besides the bookshops that cater only for tourists and expats – Periplus and Ganesha to name them – there are a few large bookshops in Bali, half of them filled with books about religion, neatly arranged according their respective denominations. In some supermarkets that cater mainly for locals the only books you will find are about religion and a few schoolbooks.
    I’ve been desperately looking for a copy of ‘How To catch A Bule Man’ but in vain. Probably sold out long ago.

  16. avatar timdog says:
    February 16th, 2012 at 10:54 am

    Ganesha is a very fine little bookshop, ET…
    The Gramedia bookshop chain is enormous (in Bali the main one’s in Mal Galeria), and yes indeed, vast quantities of those religious books (with, it must be said, Christianity disproportionatelty represented, even in Bali).
    Those and the Japanese comics, sold to 30-year-old civil servants…

  17. avatar deta says:
    February 16th, 2012 at 11:37 am

    I’ve been desperately looking for a copy of ‘How To catch A Bule Man’ but in vain

    This preview in google book might help a little bit.

    Unless you desperately wanted to snare a bule yourself ;-) , you wouldn’t be interested in reading the rest of the book anyway, methinks.

  18. avatar ET says:
    February 16th, 2012 at 12:14 pm

    Unless you desperately wanted to snare a bule yourself ;-) , you wouldn’t be interested in reading the rest of the book anyway, methinks.

    Hahaha, I was kind of expecting that reaction. But actually it was intended as a farewell gift for a pembantu who was going pulang kampung. You see, we the reminiscents of the colonial masters of yore may also have a heart. Sometimes.

  19. avatar timdog says:
    February 16th, 2012 at 12:25 pm

    So presumably she didn’t already manage to catch Mr Bule, then, ET? ;-)

    If you can’t find a copy just pop down Gramedia and get her “Konspirasi Yehudi Dalam Indonesia” or “Jesus Wants you to be Rich” or Miiko! Volume MXIV. It’s all the same anyway….

  20. avatar ET says:
    February 16th, 2012 at 12:38 pm

    I gave her my Motorola handphone, a brand I’ve never seen here, and she was very happy.

  21. avatar Oigal says:
    February 16th, 2012 at 3:23 pm

    That’s ok I gave her Timdog’s phone number..

  22. avatar timdog says:
    February 16th, 2012 at 3:38 pm

    …And I thought that “Mister minta fulsa 20ribu dulu” text was from one of those blokes I met on Gunung Lawu last week.
    ET, you need to teach your staff some respect!

  23. avatar deta says:
    February 16th, 2012 at 4:12 pm

    Sorry TD, I told her to say “Sayang” instead of “Mister”, but she wouldn’t listen.

  24. avatar timdog says:
    February 16th, 2012 at 4:37 pm

    Well, I’d much prefer “tuan”, naturally, but sayang would do…

  25. avatar bonni says:
    February 16th, 2012 at 5:14 pm

    Nay,

    I just start asking the girls “If you want me to love you and only you in marriage, what are you going to give me to make me stop seeing all these other girlfriends of mine?”

    What are their answers?
    Cause mine would be… *singing while -trying- to play a guitar*

    Make It With You – Bread

    Hey have you ever tried…
    Really reaching out for the other side…
    I may be climbing on rainbows…
    But baby, here goes…

    Dreams are for those who sleep…
    Life is for us to keep…
    And if you’re wondering what this song is leading to…
    I’d like to make it with you…
    I really think that we could make it, boy…

    Though you don’t know me well…
    With every little thing only time will tell…
    If you believe the things that I do…
    Then we’ll see it through…

    Life can be short or long…
    Love can be right or wrong…
    And if I chose the one I’d like to help me through…
    I’d like to make it with you…
    I really think that we can make it, boy…

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vrRONd34bIs

    :P

    Happy -two days ago- valentine’s day!

  26. avatar Chris says:
    February 16th, 2012 at 7:31 pm

    Hi ET,

    I’ve been desperately looking for a copy of ‘How To catch A Bule Man’ but in vain. Probably sold out long ago.

    I actually contacted Mr/Ibu Bule a while ago to see if they were interested in doing a interview for a follow-up post, but they said no because their book was no longer on sale.

    If you’re desperate, my wife and I have got one. PM me your details and you can borrow it.

  27. avatar ET says:
    February 16th, 2012 at 9:27 pm

    Thanks Chris for your concern. My despair was more inspired by my impatiece to find this item that would definitely have pleased my ex-pembantu of whom I was quite fond (I know she surreptitiously dreamt of the white knight who would take her to far away places full of luxury) rather than by my actual interest in its contents. Although I admit that the book also certainly must have its values for the bule males who want to be informed and prepared for the spider webs that are constantly woven around them.

  28. avatar Chris says:
    February 16th, 2012 at 11:47 pm

    I have tried lending it to a couple of local ladies who seem to be keen (possibly too keen) to link up with a single white male, in an effort to help them see that it is not all sweetness and light. However, the title turned them off it and they refused to read it.

    Actually, one of the questions I wanted to ask Ibu Bule was based on this experience:

    After I married an Indonesian, a number of single Jakartan ladies asked me to introduce them to a suitable single male friend. However, when I suggested they read your book first to understand the possible issues in such a relationship, they refused; they said the book’s title suggested it was for gold-diggers or the desperate. How did you choose the name “How to Catch Mr Bule”, rather than a less suggestive title?

  29. avatar ET says:
    February 17th, 2012 at 6:41 am

    Chris, it could be because they consider the title somewhat offensive. Bule sarcasm or even irony isn’t always well spent on Indonesians I have noticed. Probably another of those pervasive cultural differences.

  30. avatar timdog says:
    February 17th, 2012 at 7:49 am

    How did you choose the name “How to Catch Mr Bule”, rather than a less suggestive title?

    It may not have been Ibu Bule who came up with the title; it may have been Gramedia. Publishers have a habit of doing that. Usually the author is appalled by their choice, but they do tend to know what they’re doing.

    F Scott Fitzgerald, for instance, wanted to call The Great Gatsby “Trimalchio in West Egg” or “The High-Bouncing Lover” and various other monumental duds…

    Still, judging from the responses of your friends, it sounds like they may have cocked up with this one…
    I wonder how many copies they sold. I’ve always wondered what kind of numbers Indonesian-language books shift…

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