Dating Indonesian Girls

Apr 4th, 2006, in Society, by

Dating Indonesian women may not be for everyone.

Indonesian women, particularly on the island of Java, are exceptionally beautiful. They tend towards the very feminine side, with lovely skin, are not too tall, and have knock-out smiles. There's plenty of plus on that side of things.

If wer'e to be honest we have to recognise that many men are interested in a woman who will take care of him, do the housework without complaint, and take care of other matters similarly without much bother. Your average Indonesian girl often fits the bill in this respect, certainly more than your average western woman, the less said about them the better.

On the other hand going out with Indonesian women in a romantic way can have many mysterious pitfalls.

Some women here are clearly only interested in money. Some men are unbothered by this. Others of the female variety, can, once we get to know them very well, come across as practically insane, hysterically emotional, scheming, over-possessive, inclined to, usually fake, attempts at self-harm in order to get their way. As I said, not for the faint-hearted.

There are a few Indonesia dating websites although the area is not nearly as developed as that in nearby Phillipines or Thailand. To begin your online journey on the Indonesian dating scene our very own "Meet" section has many a lady eager for company.

4,898 Comments on “Dating Indonesian Girls”

  1. Okay bloody surfer….you think you smart, right?….have you ever attended a traditional wedding of savunese? As i told before i’m not a sumbanese, i’m savunese living in sumba and any wedding in my family will be held in savunese tradition. The wedding ussually called as “kenoto”, it’s when the men with his family come to the women’s family abd bring some piper, buttlenut, fabric traditional custum and some other requirements. And this is what i want to be seen by franky. It’s so unique and very tradtional when all people come using fabric traditional custom. It was held at 15:00pm till 19:00pm on friday, sept 28th. Just one day. The wedding ceremonial was held in church at sunday, sept 30th. And i think there is no difference between The wedding ceremony held in the church in all over the world. I just want him to see the traditional way. Got, smart bloody surfer?

  2. another traditional wedding of my cousin will be held on october 28th. you are invited if you wanna see it.

  3. avatar frankygth says:

    Dude you must be joking.
    I remember from my teenage years I used to surf as well…….No way I would even take the time to take the calender, read back comments check the time line and comment the way you did. I use to spend every bleedin minute of free time on the water searching for the greatest waves and adventure!!!!!

    This and the amount of bleedin and bloody remarks as well as the jumping on each lady trying to make a conversation with you, shows you probably are a teenager afraid to go play out of the house with the other children.
    Don’t worry I won’t tell you’re mom.

    You may wonder why I call you smurfer. These were my favorite litle friends when I was 6…..

    Enjoy the Smurfers!

    And about being on this thread actually this is for adults you see.
    Be carefull cozz some of the content of this thread is not for little children. On the other hand, it is so obvious you miss the point of the thread as well as the content it can’t be that bad. You may pick up some new words here and there. And after all that is the point of growing up……see and learn.

  4. avatar frankygth says:

    Thanks for the invitation. Your intentions are clear and in line what I understood before.
    Thanks for that and wish I could see that ceremony one day. Good to know there are nice people in the world and not afraid to show that.

    Please do not feel embarrased by my little friend Lombosmurfers remarks…..
    I hope you understand he must have a hard time alone, afraid to leave the house sitting in his room looking out of the window to the other children that don’t wanna play with him……

    Btw I am now in Jakarta and good to be here……..

  5. avatar frankygth says:

    Oh yea mate be carefull. When you grow up and learn how to keep standing on your board. First try shallow water. Lombok has crocodiles and although not as fast as sharks the like pink flesh……..But you still have time to grow and learn before your parent allow you to be on your own……

  6. avatar joey says:

    praparing for trip found this thread on Indonesian girls.
    I will stay for a few months there. Gave up my job for tour around the world.
    Now i am in middle east and looking forward to go to India and after that to Indonesia.
    Great thread on local dating. Read some pages and interesting stuff.
    Some of it is a bit heavy but ok thats all part of it I guess.
    Any tips were the best places are to meet girls and have a party?
    Don’t get me wrong…….i am not looking for cheap c….s. Just want to experience real local people.
    Not an expat and low budget traveler so any tips?

  7. avatar joey says:

    i guess you all are too bussy to share your tips and tricks…..:D
    don”t worry…….aslong as I have some idea in 2-3 months
    oh yea last weekend met some Indonesian girls in restaurat in Dubai.
    Must say They are fun and their behaviour is striking.
    educated, friendly, Respectfull and patient……impressive i must say. oh yea and their stunning beuty was striking…..i cant wait to go there. And the first invitation to meet some friends in my pocket.
    Any more tips are welcome……..light tips please……not the long and heavy ones such as from Nay….
    No offence but they are just long……:D

  8. avatar bonita says:

    i think… it depends where you met these ladies. if you met them inside the night club or bar or whatever you can imagine then you know what is in the package. mostly indonesian are “too complicated” and i agree with that. too many “family matter” . to those whose looking for an expat should stay away from this topic at least till you have your relationship gone to a more serious level.

  9. avatar joey says:

    you mean that seriously?
    I meet those girls in restaurant and nothing cmplicated.
    Only thing i ffeel was that they indeed miss there family yes.
    So you are right about that. But i can understand that, because your family is where you come from your roots.
    It’s who you are and part of you. That can give some impact on your personal live…but is that exclusively Indonesian?
    Other then that thanks for the tips… ni nightclub girls yhen. Any other place recommended?
    And also hear about learning the language…..any tips for that?

  10. avatar bonni says:


    if you met them inside the night club or bar or whatever you can imagine then you know what is in the package

    This does not apply to every girls you meet in the night club or bar. Some yes, some maybe not. Enjoy your holiday!

  11. avatar joey says:

    heheehe i agree Bonni.
    Like normal girls are not allowed to dance and go out and meet friends.
    Looks like some people still not used to the fact women do more the just stay home and take care of housework.
    So they think, if they do go out the must be bad……..soo outdated…:)

    Anyway still no tips on good places,…….and also on learning language……:)
    My planning is to start in Jakarta for a week, then go to some islands ………
    bali is nice, and off course borobodur on Java and for the rest……
    i am interested in Nature, see and off course local peoplle………and if people happen to be good looking then its a big plusss ๐Ÿ™‚

  12. avatar Mr tiny says:

    HI all, reading some of these blogs i began to fall asleep, its like reading a massive argument. Lets be fair..yes probably most of the girls want a better life, and therefor e prob latch on to westerners for the green card, but do you blame them!, i think if the tables were turned we would do the same.
    Im 6ft 5in 196 cm, im coming to indonesia for the diving as i hear its amazing in the komodo natioal park.
    And yes i would love to meet a girl, mainly for friendship now as i have read most of the above. All i want to know, is wat is the diving like?

  13. avatar joey says:

    looks like nobody reads this thread. At least……not a lot of trafic……..
    Anyway reading back old pages gives already good impresion on the topic……
    Some of it is made by geniusses…..hahaahaha cant keep my panties dry…:)
    thanks for former posts……and looking forward to futue……..
    i will keep readiing and prepare myself mentally for the horrific challenge of getting into the heart of Indonesian nature…::)

    and appart from girls and culture…..what is bes source of info on traveling and nature in Indonesia…..
    Bit off thread, sorry but any info that makes life easier is welcome…..

  14. avatar frankygth says:

    are you suure? Cozz it’strue…….indonesian grirls are not for the faint haerted ๐Ÿ™‚
    Jakarta is nice but it’s a metropole. The countryside and other islands offerr more adventure….you must check urself what you like….sea, forest, city etc Indonesia has allll!
    Also people out of JKT are more authentic. Prepare yourself and be open for meeting new people and you will be allright. Try to learn some bahassa as English is not always spoken……….. enjoy!!

  15. avatar joey says:

    thx..actuallly already studying Bahasa hahahaaha
    the only do-able asian language. ๐Ÿ™‚ indeed i wat to explore Jakarta a bit.
    And more interested to countryside. Want to travel by train and bus…..and heard between Islands there are many booats……..btw yesterday met those Indonesian girkls again. They are going home next week.
    i am thinking to go with them. I have got some connection with one of them……:)
    she is great and fun…..but one thing is her phone… god how mich time spending on silly phone……
    Yesterday when dancing she even reads messages…..we had a great night but half of it she was bussy with phone…….
    Now I think about it…….i skip travelplans wirh them…but man they are nice…..

    Talkiing about phones. i read some comment on this thread. Is it so harsh as some posts mention?
    I mean is there so much use? Or is that only in big cities? Phones ca be handy but also a pain.
    How to deal with this????

    And oh ya Nay, reading yr posts is hard but some of it is good.
    I wonder were in the world you gain that experience……

  16. avatar andi says:

    i thinkโ€ฆ it depends where you met these ladies. if you met them inside the night club or bar or whatever you can imagine then you know what is in the package.

    Err… actually you can find slut anywhere, including in the circle of so-called “keluarga baik-baik”. Heck, even jilbabed girls can be slut too. Try it for yourself.

  17. avatar frankygth says:

    Joey, relax……phone can be a pain yes but I think that it is something not so serious.
    Offcourse it looks like there is is no interest in your personalty mr joey…………but try to understand the background……many people in Indoinesia life far away from their love…… life is hard and work sometimes require to live far away from your familiy and love……so when somebody a girl is into her phone it is most likely because she is chatting with her real love,,,,,,and real love is a broad defenition…..indonesian love is a grade higher

  18. avatar Nay says:

    Errโ€ฆ actually you can find slut anywhere, including in the circle of so-called โ€œkeluarga baik-baikโ€. Heck, even jilbabed girls can be slut too. Try it for yourself.


    There is no such thing as “good” or “bad” girl.
    ALL girls love romance and sex…. just like men.

    The real question is…. what are her requirements to do this with you, and how much you have to pay in time/money/lies for it to happen.

    My recommendation is to not lie, don’t pay anything, and not to waste time ๐Ÿ˜‰

  19. avatar bonni says:


    donโ€™t pay anything,

    WTF? Anything? Bahahaha. You don’t even pay for dinner sometimes? Going dutch all the time huh. Single, hard to tell haha.

  20. avatar Lomboksurfer says:

    No bloody doubt about it mates but Bonni bloody well loves me….we met on bleedin EBay (she was the bloody low bidder) and we are still going strong. Love you always my forever hot tasty brown sugar baby….who’s your bloody surf daddy ๐Ÿ˜‰

  21. avatar Nay says:

    WTF? Anything? Bahahaha. You donโ€™t even pay for dinner sometimes? Going dutch all the time huh. Single, hard to tell haha.

    Actually no. See I don’t feel that I should be bribing the girl just to spend time with me, under the presumption that she doesn’t like me at all and needs to be bribed in the first place.
    Doing that sort of thing sets the frame of the interaction in such a negative way from the very start, that any hope of a loving relationship is completely dead before anything has really even started.

    Of course, if I don’t care about a relationship and just want to get laid, I could probably visit a prostitute and have it done cheaper with less hassle.

    Makes absolutely no bloody sense to buy women or pay them a damn cent otherwise.

    I dunno why you find the concept of not spending money funny Bonni unless you’re an out-and-out golddigger who couldn’t care less about the men she sees, but expects “love” from them anyway.

    Good Luck with that! Women who go down that path typically find some idiot man, get married, and wonder why they hate him so much and always argue. It’s so predictable, it’s sad.

  22. avatar frankygth says:

    Nothing bad to be Dutch I couldn’t agree more……….

    @Lombok Sufferd*
    Good to see you back mate. I was afraid I was a bit harsh to you and your bloody recovery took a bit too long. Call me a soft hearted emotional basterd.
    Glad you are on your feet again and enjoy your bloody remarks towards the ladies again. Although I feel you are more subtile now. It looks like you are a bit wary

    Or is it because you miss your litle blue friends already? Dont worry just make the asking price a bit higher in ebay:

    You may end up with an offer you cant refuse. And when sold you buy your golden tanned bloody Bonni….Life can be simple…..:)

    And tell your motheryou sleep over with a friend so you can stay out longer.

    *) tip: google translate dutch=>english:)

  23. avatar frankygth says:

    but whatever you come up with as an excuse……..dont let your smurf daddy get involved ๐Ÿ™‚

  24. avatar Nay says:

    …and I thought the revolt against “going Dutch” had something to do with Indonesian history.

    Silly me!

  25. avatar frankygth says:

    Hahahah yes that is ineteresting angle…..
    You probably refer to the fact that Holland welcomed many people born in Inonesia after the independance. Dont get me wrong I totally reject what our country did in the past and its logically Indonesia wanted to be independent. However back then many came to Holland and the good thing is that as a result already during my study I had many Indonesian firends. Perhaps that is why I am so fond of the people and culture….Actually I have great respect for Indonesians in Holland, same as the oines still in Indonesia, as they are smart hardworking and have good characters…at least that is my experience…..
    However dating Indonesian girls in Holland is different from Dating Indonesian girls in Indonesia……Perhaps a good idea for a new thread…..’Dating indonesian girl the Dutch way’?

  26. avatar Lomboksurfer says:

    Has anyone else heard about the bleedin female Indonesian celebrities who have banded together in oath to take down a bloody bule man they suspect of being a womanizer? Like they don’t already have almost the bloody entire bloody male population of Indonesia to choose from if that’s all this guy has done…. The bloody idiocy of the female population in Indonesia really knows no bleedin bounds. The celebrities include such bloody notables as Marissa Nasution, Atiqa Hasiholan, Sandra Dewi, Marianna Dantec and Luna Maya among others….Luna is bloody interesting as you would have thought her bloody target would have been that bleedin little half wit from Peter Pan who video taped their love making trysts for all of Indonesia to view. How much money did she lose from endorsements because of the bad press? Anyway, bloody cheers to all as I thought this was quite interesting to tell…

  27. avatar Nay says:

    Has anyone else heard about the bleedin female Indonesian celebrities who have banded together in oath to take down a bloody bule man they suspect of being a womanizer?

    Yep. They’re all after me. ๐Ÿ˜€

    No seriously, what they are doing makes perfect sense to them. The guy has to be made an example of! We can’t have other men getting the idea that women actually *gasp* ENJOY sex without needing money! That would ruin the business model! That would destroy the power base! Gotta make the “forbidden fruit” exotic foreigners look bad, otherwise the local men won’t step up and try to please the Indonesian lassies, saying “I’ll treat you better than those TERRIBLE bule!” while they keep denying them sex until she’s lock stock and dowried up.

    Of course, the logic of what they are doing is preposterous. The idea that the women who hooked up with Mr. womanizer somehow “didn’t know” what they were getting themselves into, is pretty much a slap in the face of all women who actually have a brain and can make their own decisions and take their own responsibilities, and run their own lives.

    Unless of course, they are trying to prove that the opposite is true.

    … but I digress.

    Anyway, in every country I’ve been to where white man is in the minority (and I guess it’s the same for black men in similar circumstances)… I’ve experienced that we certainly ARE the exotic forbidden fruit that nobody approves of. That actually greases the wheels for sex to happen with women who find that fetish attractive…. although publicly they’ll deny it. If they did admit it, they’d alienate themselves from 90% of the local male racist population who have decided that us whiteys are all scumbag playboys that women shouldn’t have anything to do with!

    The end result is that these women easily hook up with us and then throw us to the kerb when they are done in order to protect their own “dignity”. I laugh at the stupid societal hypocrisy and wonder what the hell I’m doing with my love life… but not long enough for me to care for too long, because another new girl just contacted me. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  28. avatar momo says:

    The problem with most Indonesian women is they don’t want to work. They come to the West with a Western husband and expect to live for free, working when they want and staying home when they want. When they realize they have to work and help out then the Indonesian women freakout. In addition, many Western men have normal lives where they come from. They have an apartment or maybe a small house and car. When Indonesian women see this they become disappointed, thinking that for some reason there would be more.

    Indonesian women build up in their minds what life in the West will be and often the dream doesn’t fit the reality. That coupled with the culture shock can often make them breakdown or flee.

    My message to Indonesian women is marry the man because you love him, not because what you think you can get from him. Some men marry Indonesian girls because they are pathetic in their homeland, but others often fall in love with Indonesian people and culture and wan to make that a part of their lives.

    However, it is best if a Western man stays in Indonesia and does not take his wife too the West. These are the relationships that work out the best because the Western man already knows the culture in Indonesia.

  29. avatar jim says:

    I see many older dudes with a 25 year old indon woman

  30. avatar imelt says:

    I think Expat men like Indonesian girls because they have darker exotic skin? what do you guys think? so they dont care if they have to spend on them, though in some countries woman are more independent, because they have work to do. i think expat / foreigners who finally marry Indonesian because they like living here also so it’s pretty fair no?

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