Miserable People

Sep 11th, 2008, in IM Posts, by David

View the original article here.

93 Comments on “Miserable People”

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janma Says:
September 17th, 2008 at 8:35 am
Looking back — why did you do it ? Youthful enthusiasm ? Adventurousness ? How’d you end up in India ?

you know looking back, I’m just embarrassed….. LOL!
Purba Says:
September 17th, 2008 at 5:24 pm
It was love wasn’t it, along with the naive idealism of the armchair revolutionary petty bourgeoisie?
janma Says:
September 18th, 2008 at 8:43 am
It was love wasn’t it, along with the naive idealism of the armchair revolutionary petty bourgeoisie?

you talking to me PN?
wasn’t love….. that much is for sure…. not much idealism there either… more curiosity….. and if anyone is an armchair revolutionary or a petty bourgeoisie, it’d be you popkins…
Purba Negoro Says:
September 22nd, 2008 at 2:30 pm
Curiosity killed the cat
Satisfaction, brought it back?

I was being facetious by the way. Rob’s a good armchair revolutionary.
I’m just an unapologetic elitist bastard.
theimp98 Says:
February 3rd, 2009 at 6:43 pm
I have a “grumpy face” no matter where i am.
i was born that way,

i did try to smile once it hurt my face.
zekky Says:
April 16th, 2009 at 11:51 pm
Living in the UK at the moment, I notice there’s less social pressure to “put on a face” here, but if I stop someone in the street, they’ll often smile if I need help.

Alternatively, I know many Indonesians who’ll smile a lot in public, but once you get to know them can be downright miserable.

I don’t think it’s so much being grumpy as it is being told how to behave by society.
Stupid Bule Says:
May 28th, 2009 at 1:17 pm
Aluang,

Don’t compare us with Indians. Javanese are poles apart in mannerism. We have traditional court room sopan etiquette passed down from generations.

This traditional courtroom etiquette, is this the Dutch courtroom etiquette that was installed here? or the Indonesian style and interpretation that has been applied since?
Bule Bear Says:
April 17th, 2010 at 1:48 pm
Honestly, I’m one of the “grumpy-looking” Bule’s. Here’s why I appear to be grumpy.

People shout for my attention when I am riding my Motor bike. I ignore them, because I don’t want to crash.

“hello Mr!” doesn’t just get old. when someone shouts it at me, it feels like the same as yelling, “hey everyone! LOOK AT THE FOREIGNER!” Shouting at and drawing attention to someone you don’t know is rude. it’s not just boring, it’s aggressive. On the other hand, when people walk up to me and say it in a normal voice, I ALWAYS smile and say hello back. always. Because that is polite.

I AM grumpy when bargaining since I am usually charged more for anything just because I am white. Racism pisses me off. I am a guest in your country, but I still have the right to get pissed off when I am ripped off for being white.

Bule’s are targets in Indonesia. We are. I love it here. It is different from my country which is why I like it. but I am a target. The guys selling things seek me out, beggars will sprint across six lanes of traffic to hold a cup in front of me ignoring all of the locals. Women approach me, not because they like me, but because they want to “catch Mr Bule”. Friendly greetings like “let’s be friends” soon turn into “you pay my rent and buy me clothes!”
Bule’s learn that 80% of the people who approach us want something from us. That means we learn to ignore everybody. this is unfair to the 20% who are genuine people, But we have to protect ourselves and avoid wasting our time.

The next time you see a grumpy Bule, ask to buy Him/ her a cup of tea or coffee. Have a chat. Part with a phone number offering to treat us to some activity. It doesn’t have to be expensive but send the clear message that you don’t want anything from us but friendship. If you offer a cup of tea and are refused, don’t take it personally. We are living thousands of Kilometers from home in a strange country and it’s not easy for us to know who to trust.

I’m grumpy when people are impolite to me. I know that most of them don’t mean it, but that doesn’t make it less annoying.

I can be annoyed with some aspects of Indo and still love living here.
I’m not miserable. anyone who knows me, knows this.
Oigal Says:
April 19th, 2010 at 11:36 am
“f***ing darkie”

Been reading too many pulp magazines I think. Fcking darkie to describe an Asian ..Think not..but thanks for sharing
ET Says:
April 19th, 2010 at 12:31 pm
@ Bule Bear

You took the words right out of my keyboard.
Oigal Says:
April 19th, 2010 at 2:38 pm
Did a post disappear?..Makes mine look even less relevent that usual…
ET Says:
April 19th, 2010 at 2:41 pm
O yes, I forgot

Shouting at and drawing attention to someone you don’t know is rude.

Talking about rudeness, sometimes they merely clap their hands to get your attention. I wonder if they do it also to their own.
David Says:
April 19th, 2010 at 2:53 pm
Did a post disappear?..Makes mine look even less relevent that usual…

On the first page:

http://www.indonesiamatters.com/2444/miserable-people/#comment-114952
Oigal Says:
April 19th, 2010 at 2:56 pm
On the other side..If you really want to confuse a foreigner…

Had a very senior policeman introduce himself to me one day (long story), anyway ever since then he rings every couple of weeks or pops in to say hello. Every Christmas, he sends a huge (and I mean huge) basket of goodies.

The one time I did try and offer he something he was most offended. Its now been over five years..

I keep waiting for the sword to fall…or am I too cynical now to recognise a real offer of friendship? Guess its the 80/20 rule ET refers to.

Whatever he has me on the back foot that’s for sure and he is the only one to do that in many years.
Swagman Says:
April 19th, 2010 at 8:35 pm
I am a guest in your country

Yes correct … you are a guest in their country. Too bad they are not offered the same opportunity as you

Sounds like you like the country (maybe because it is cheap and you are a “Bule Bear”) however you don’t like most of the people … just the ones that go out of their way to be nice to you.

Interesting …. second thoughts, not interesting, just miserable.

beggars will sprint across six lanes of traffic to hold a cup in front of me

Blaming the underpriveleged for being poor is offensive. Try being just a little more gracious.
Swagman Says:
April 19th, 2010 at 8:51 pm
Racism pisses me off

Now that is hilarious!
Swagman Says:
April 19th, 2010 at 9:13 pm
underprivileged* sorry … my bad
Bule Bear Says:
April 19th, 2010 at 9:27 pm
Keep up with me swagman, I’m not blaming anybody. My point was that I and other foreigners are targets. I was using the example of the beggars ignoring hundreds of others and targeting me to illustrate my point.

2nd, Don’t try to put words in my mouth. I like most of the people that I meet who are genuinely friendly and aren’t just trying to get something from me. it’s knowing the diference that is the problem.

Swag you keep searching deperately for ways to paint foreigners as horrible, shallow, anger-filled people. you even imply that I’m a racist in your last post! Maybe it’s not just the bule’s who are miserable? Maybe you are just a little bit racist yourself?

Ease up man. Most people are basically good.
Swagman Says:
April 19th, 2010 at 9:37 pm
Keep up with me Bule Bear. Your comments blamed almost everyone.

This is a grossly unfair statement:

Bule’s learn that 80% of the people who approach us want something from us. That means we learn to ignore everybody. this is unfair to the 20% who are genuine people, But we have to protect ourselves and avoid wasting our time.

Just like this is a gross overstatement:

Swag you keep searching deperately for ways to paint foreigners as horrible, shallow, anger-filled people.

And lastly ….. you assume that I am not a foreigner? Why?
Bule Bear Says:
April 19th, 2010 at 9:45 pm
I never assumed you weren’t a foreigner.

I think that you are looking for an argument, I’m not. Best of luck, Hope you learn to forgive humans for being human.

G’bye!
Swagman Says:
April 19th, 2010 at 9:50 pm
Bye .. be happy
Oigal Says:
April 20th, 2010 at 10:13 am
Bule’s learn that 80% of the people who approach us want something from us. That means we learn to ignore everybody. this is unfair to the 20% who are genuine people, But we have to protect ourselves and avoid wasting our time.

Actually no its not. As anyone who lives in country will tell you for any number of reasons both good and bad Foreigners are viewed as potential income will worth the approach.

Does that mean that 80% of Indonesians are like that…No..Its 80% of those who approach you, who are usually poor and or wanting. I would be doing the same in their situation. Want to test the theory?I challenge you to walk down the any street in any city in Indonesia.
Anytime someone I don’t know approaches me now, its a matter figuring out his/her angle. There is always but always an angle some funny, some bitterly sad (except the cop, who has me flummoxed). The other section of the population who is not working an angle will not/have no need to seek out the stranger in their midst.

Sometimes people are too ready with offendometer than accept the realities of life.

As a matter of interest, any Indonesian will tell you the same if you look like you have money (as foreigners are assumed to have) be you any race then its the same thing.
Oigal Says:
April 20th, 2010 at 10:19 am
Bule’s learn that 80% of the people who approach us want something from us.

Kuta is 100% btw
Nay Says:
April 20th, 2010 at 12:47 pm
I think spending a lot of time in different countries gives you a better outlook on how you can end up being treated wherever you are in the world.

Indonesians are friendly, which is a good thing. At least I feel like I am a member of the human race there. Try spending some time in another country to see the differences.

In the US, I can’t talk to anyone without fear that they’re going to get angry and explode half the time. The customer service there is so terrible, and then they have the nerve to want tips on it.

Or maybe you can try Japan, where everyone seems really polite and friendly… but are too scared of foreigners to try speaking to them. You might find that they’re saying nice things to you, whereas in fact, deep down, they are hiding their true feelings of disgust directed towards you… but you’ll never know. You just won’t get invited anywhere, and all your phone calls will get ignored.

…and the Indians just keep finding ways to be rude and disgusting, and haggle down prices all the time, and the Chinese are always trying to strong-arm you with ridiculous demands in business…. we could go on and on.

Indonesia is really not all that bad considering other places in the world. At least people want you in their community, as opposed to all the other places in the world where you are unwanted. My only real complaint is lack of privacy. People will see you across town, and when you get back, word will have reached you that someone saw you do something somewhere, and then sooner or later, everyone you meet will already know where you went and what you did. Especially true once you move out of Jakarta.

You just need to have Indonesian friends with you when you go shopping to prevent yourself from getting ripped off.
Oigal Says:
April 20th, 2010 at 1:12 pm
Indonesia is really not all that bad considering other places in the world. At least people want you in their community,

Actually that is probably pretty correct, its not they way Indonesians treat me (although the “system” can be frustating at times) that grates as so many point out only passing through. It’s the disregard for the environment they live in and others who are not able to defend themselves. I find myself shaking my head, “you have such a beautiful country and yet you choose to live in a cess pool”?

Sorry but I find no excuse for the trash and condition of the rivers besides sheer unthinking neglect.
deta Says:
April 20th, 2010 at 2:09 pm
Bule Bear:

this is unfair to the 20% who are genuine people,

Not at all. You’re actually being unfair to yourself. It must be hard to live in a country where you have to ignore 8 out of 10 people approaching you (beggars should be excluded, as it’s their job to approach everyone, not just foreigners). Poor little bear.

Oigal:

I find myself shaking my head, “you have such a beautiful country and yet you choose to live in a cess pool”?

Fair enough.
ET Says:
April 20th, 2010 at 3:17 pm
Bule’s learn that 80% of the people who approach us want something from us.

It’s true that this rule applies to places that live for a large part from tourism (read foreigners). Then one – I admit sometimes also me – feels inclined to generalize. When I go out with Indonesian friends they sometimes are even more embarrassed than me about the way a foreigner gets hustled. But once you go beyond the trodden paths I would say that the rule is in reverse, even more.
My advice for travelers to Indonesia who appreciate genuinely friendly human contact is to avoid the tourist traps and you certainly wont be disappointed.
Janma Says:
December 6th, 2010 at 4:43 pm
actually….. most Indonesian girls I know ignore most hello’s and randoms that come their way… it’s not really anything to do with being a bule… they’ll have a go bless em. They’d actually get a shock if the girls did respond I’d say.
Rev Says:
February 25th, 2011 at 11:10 am
I agree about the state of the environment
it is shocking to the point of dismay

the people, the attention, the bureaucracy
none of that got me down

but the filth did. Nowhere clean, no where uncontaminated
not a breathful of clean air or a glass of clean water
ET Says:
February 25th, 2011 at 12:33 pm
but the filth did. Nowhere clean, no where uncontaminated
not a breathful of clean air or a glass of clean water

Not to mention noise pollution. Wherever you go you hear knalpot and chainsaws. All in the name of progress. At least that’s what they say or think. If they think at all.