Reasons for Divorce

Jul 16th, 2008, in News, by

DivorceToo many elections might be pushing up the divorce rate, with women leading the way.

The Director General of the Islam section of the Department of Religion, Nasarudin Umar, held a press conference on 15th July to discuss the problem of divorce in Indonesia, which he said was getting much worse.

Umar worried that the divorce rate had doubled in recent times, and:

…for every 100 marriages there are 10 divorces, and usually divorces occur in young families.

In the six major cities in Indonesia he said the data showed that women initiated divorce proceedings in 60-75% of cases, depending on the city. Women took the lead these days, he said, because they felt they had the same rights as men, and because of the effects of globalization. He said the Muslim community needed to have a think about whether women were going over the top in this area, or not.

While the Quran clearly teaches that divorce is halal, or permitted, it is actually most hated by God, he said, and 80% of verses in the Quran deal with family harmony issues, while, for example, comparatively few deal with matters of state or the broader society, because state and society cannot be ordered properly unless families are stable and happy.

Umar’s data on cases, and causes of divorce, with the reasons given for separation as

  • incompatibility (because of adultery) – 54000 cases
  • disharmony – 46000
  • economic hardship – 24000
  • interference by relatives – 9000
  • family crisis – 4700
  • forced marriage – 1700
  • domestic violence – 900
  • polygamy – 879
  • biological defect (like infertility) – 580
  • underage marriage – 284
  • imprisonment – 150

Although only 157 cases were put down to “political differences” Umar worried at some length that with all the provincial elections going on now, and in the run up to the 2009 national election, differences in political views threatened to tear apart many more families. detik

We have to watch this, it could put the nation’s future at risk.


50 Comments on “Reasons for Divorce”

  1. avatar Purba Negoro says:

    Farina-
    you must hire a divorce lawyer.
    If you file privately (by yourself) – it will not be as strong as a lawyer petition

    If you were married in an Islam ceremony- the lawyer will petition Religious Court.

    For divorce applciation to be valid:
    “sufficient reasons” must be provem:

    adultery, is an alcoholic, is addicted to drugs, is a gambler or other vices which are difficult to cure;

    left the other spouse for two consecutive years, without consent and without legitimate reasons or the absence of reasons beyond his control;

    has been sentenced to imprisonment for five years or a longer period;

    has resorted to cruelty or severe ill-treatment, endangering the life of the other spouse;

    has developed a disability or disease, preventing from fulfilling the duties of husband or wife; or

    irreconcilable differences.

    Divorce only after the Court has tried unsuccessfully to reconcile the parties.

    divorce by “talak”
    divorce by judgement of the court of law.

    Talak is applicable only to Muslim marriage, court of law overide all religious laws/conventions- meaning an unsuccessful Islam court divorce can be overturned by a court of law.

    Conclusion- get a lawyer.

  2. avatar Rob says:

    PN…

    You seem surprisingly well informed on the issue of divorce in Indonesia, some experience? ๐Ÿ˜€

    My suggestion would be to get a lawyer. The simple reason is that a reasonably good divorce lawyer will know their way around. This will reduce the stress that you are likely to suffer as you get ping-ponged from one window to the next.

    Muslim marriages go through the religious courts and non-Muslim marriages go through the general courts.

    If you want more info then you could also head to the Department of Religion. Each religion has their own division and the staff at the DOR are usually much more helpful than those at the courts.

  3. avatar Farina says:

    thank you guys for the advice….. But I’m not a muslim… where can I find more info .. I have told him nicely that we can’t be together anymore but he say he will never sign the divorce .. He commit adultery why Should I do. Report to police Or any good idea???

  4. avatar Rob says:

    Farina…

    I would stick to my earlier suggestion. If you do not want to immediately hire a lawyer to do teh hard yards on your behalf, then my suggestion is a trip to the nearest branch of the Dept. of Religion.

    As I said, they are generally pretty helpful in telling you what has to be done. They are also a whole lot more professional than the Civil Registry. Ultimately, you will need to get the Decree Nisi signed off on by the general courts (at least that is my current understanding of the process).

    good luck.

  5. avatar Farina says:

    hi guys … I have check with the them but she say my husband must bring Marriage cert then we can process . He push me to the ground when I ask him about divorce and I report to police . .

  6. avatar Geordie says:

    He push me to the ground when I ask him about divorce

    Got any brothers, cousins, uncles? The man (loosest possible interpretation) sounds like a coward and confronted by a couple of handy lads he might just comply with your request rather than ante up and have a go.

  7. avatar Purba Negoro says:

    No-
    good knowledge of the law is the responsibility of a good citizen in any nation- would you not agree Mr Rob?

    I believe ignorance is a very poor defense in Western courts as well.

  8. avatar Rob says:

    Farina…

    Geordie’s advice aside (although it might be a means of evening the score a little bit). If you reported it to the police, then make sure you get a copy of the report and make sure it is signed by the police officer who took your statement.

    The Dept of Religion can provide you with information on how to proceed without a marriage certificate. Do not accept that you can only proceed with the certificate. This is why it is important to have a copy of the police report.

    I would also consider getting some legal assistance. There are a number of organizations that have been set up to help women in your situation. One is LBH-APIK.

  9. avatar Rob says:

    PN…

    Generally speaking, ignorance is no excuse at all!

  10. avatar Purba Negoro says:

    I fount that out when annoying Aussie policemen fine me for speeding.
    Very annoying.
    Luckily my friend told me not to offer bribes-

  11. avatar Tom Simunovic says:

    From Canada: PUSH & PULL DIVORCE REASONS IN OUR FEMINIST DICTATORSHIP
    All divorces here are started by women, except if the man is kicked out on the street and has to go to court to beg to see his kids or get back his belongings.
    (A wife can push out her husband out in a few minutes, just by calling police and saying she is afraid. They arrest the husband; the house and kids stay with wife.)
    A woman disappointed with the marriage, and all are more or less, is pulled by:
    1) the profit motive – she gets his property and monthly money and state assistance
    2) the opportunity to punish that abusive, selfish husband and his family
    3) to raise the kids without his interference, or his dumb family
    4) freedom to come and go as she please, boyfriends etc, without anyone watching
    5) belief she can find a better man than that jerk, because her tastes got more refined (after turning thousands of pages of women’s press and thousands of hours of TV)
    Only a crazy man would initiate divorce. Because no man wants to loose kids, house and to become a bonded labourer. Or go to jail (she can put him in jail easily, his word means nothng in court.) Feminist courts have bastardized half of kids in my city. And ruined lives of million men and unleashed state instigated female barbarism and abuse of men and children and women who support men (grandmothers, sisters etc). Tom

  12. avatar Nasir says:

    The reasons are logical as stated by Mr. Umar. The comments coming from different people suggest how many mental problems exist throughout the world. There are different opinions.
    Children and family interference is one big reason. But what about adultery ?
    And it is being done by women ? Well men are equally doing adultery because women have found the ways to offices.
    Women should not expose their figures if they think they are penelopes or sacred creatures.

  13. avatar Neil says:

    what can a muslim woman do, if her husband will not sign the divorce papers, any help on this would be great

  14. avatar Rachael says:

    Men get away with abuse no days anyhow by claiming self defense. This man can win in divorce as well. Mostly to happen for me. My husband got off on abuse charges and most likely will get the kids. America’s courts today stink! You can due your own papers your self only if’ is non contested with no kids.

    For people in Texas :Txlawhelp.org

    Tom itโ€™s not that easy 2 to do that at all. I had head trauma and my x still one anyhow. The criminal part so far. his family/him are raciest/anisemaetcic people. Money wins cases in court. The Best lawyer win cases!

    We should rid all the tight clothes. Girls today push themselves on Men even in Elemenry age

  15. avatar Tom Simunovic says:

    You are right, a woman can loose even in feminist dictatorships, like USA, UK etc.
    These rare cases can be divided in two scenarios:
    1) He is an upper class celebrity, and our ruling feminists allow him to see his kids because they don’t want to publicize feminist crimes against men and their children.
    They would not expel the President and give White House to his wife, based on her accusation of domestic violence, as they shaft millions of middle and lower class men.
    2) He is a powerful man who shafts other men. For instance police chief would get custody 100%. The judge estimates he ruinded lives of 100 men and bastardized 100 kids. An average policeman, maybe, if he can prove consistent mistreatment of other men. How many? Depends on personal opinion of judge.
    TS

  16. avatar diego says:

    Feminist dictatorship? It’s like a place where femininators roam the street?

  17. avatar diego says:

    I’d like to see “Tom of Finland”-esque illustration of “feminist dictatorship”.

  18. avatar zatapa says:

    Tom is exaggerating a bit but I have to admit that in certain countries in Europe, men hardly have any rights to see their children. One weekend every two weeks is usual in the Netherlands for example. Then there’s alimony. Just look up on google what happened to Paul McCartney.
    Indonesia is quite the opposite. First of all, there’s so much more social pressure. Secondly, the information is not always at hand for women who are in nasty situations. Divorce for men is easy in such a masculine society. It is usually very easy to prove that a woman is a bad wife, but proving that a man is a bad husband is a whole different ball game.
    Fact is, women in Indonesia are increasingly fighting for their rights, which should happen in the Middle East as well. In Europe, there’s hardly any need for women to fight for their rights when it comes to marriage issues. Men however, are increasingly getting organised to protect their rights now.

  19. avatar Equalist says:

    The main conflict in heterosexual relations is this biological asymmetry of needs:

    Men: can be satisfied with a relationship that consists of a brief copulation with a woman once a day. Maybe 10min of her time, and that’s all. Surely, if she provides more goods and services, better for him, but it is not a prerequisite for the relation with her.

    Women: can be satisfied only with a comprehensive range of goods and services that her man supplies. In other words, she needs to control all his disposable time and money. If a woman finds out that her man has some free time in his hands, she gets hysterical. Because she is afraid he can fertilize other females and then she has to share her control of his provision.

    An experiment done in the 60s, before US feminist dictatorship stopped gender experiments:
    The same group of men and women was presented to 2 groups of women and men.

    In the first part, these men and women were presented as able to provide lots of goods and services. In the other part they were presented as loosers. All female subjects of experiments voted that those rich men are attractive and loosers repulsive, unknowing that they were shown same men (2 separate female groups). For male subjects, the wealth of women presented to them was irrelevant.

    True equality can be only achieved if we all accept our biological differences as normal.
    American Equalist

  20. avatar cindi says:

    I think it’s awesome but I’m going through some tough times right now I might have to get a divorce.

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