Single Indonesian Women

May 19th, 2008, in Opinion, by therry

View the original article here.

Tags: Boys, Cafes, Cars, Cinemas, Clothing, Earnings, Education, Employment, English, Expats, Feminine, Girl, Indonesians, Jobs, Marriage, Men, Money, Rich, Singles, Students, Study, Studying, Transport, Transportation, Universities, Western, Westerners, Women

96 Comments on “Single Indonesian Women”

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Nia Says:
August 15th, 2008 at 1:22 am
Hi All
I really enjoy all this banter. I feel this is the right forum to spill my beans, so here goes.

I’m an Indonesian girl, and I am not single. Sorry if this is the wrong thread. However, my situation is related to perceptions of an Indonesian woman and the expat man.

I’m working in the US, and was offered a great job in Indonesia starting next month. My husband is not Indonesian, but is willing to give up his job to come with me. He knows this is my dream. So guess what, girls? I will be supporting my sweet dear bule husband, who doesn’t mind being the house hubby for a while. I’m really happy with that. He’s also excited about living in Indonesia, away from our uninteresting life in the US.

Unfortunately, I have this vision I can’t shake off. Strangers thinking I’m the gold digger, lavishing in his wealth, when in fact it’s rather the opposite at that point. I know, I shouldn’t mind. But I HATE seeing my fellow Indonesians put me down when I’m walking with a bule, especially while I’m being the bread winner in the family. I’d feel pretty pissed if people treat me like that, but I DON’T want to emasculate my husband or act snobby just so people don’t put me in second class.

If any of you have felt this before, please give me concrete instructions on how to get over it. Is there something my husband should do? And please don’t give me vague advice like ‘be confident in yourself’, because …umm…that probably means you never went through it before.

Oh, and if you know anyone from Eastern Europe living in Jakarta/Bogor, let me know! He’s from Eastern Europe.
Mets Says:
August 15th, 2008 at 10:43 am
Nia,

It was good to read your thoughts and I share the same anxieties that you do as I am due to move back to Jakarta next year with my partner from England (he is a London boy), having been away for 15yrs

I found this website hoping to get some insight on how things are in Jakarta with regards to inter-racial relationships but some of threads I have read have left me bemused!!!

Do let me know how it goes, as you will be heading back before me & hopefully you can give me a few pointers lol!!
Matt F Says:
August 23rd, 2008 at 4:49 pm
Coming from a western country (Australia) that is so close geographically to Indonesia its amazing that there is such a vast difference in cultures. When it comes to comparing the singles and dating scene between the two countries there are huge differences in what is and is not acceptable. Religion plays a big part. To think that two countries living directly side by side have so many different rules is an interesting pont of discussion.
Purba Negoro Says:
August 24th, 2008 at 11:20 pm
Excellent point Matt- you must be an Indophile.

I let you in on a secret- Indonesian ladies have complete mastery of their “feminine” muscles. Some can blow you kisses
bagofcontradictions Says:
August 27th, 2008 at 3:55 pm
Whoaaaaa……….
very interesting debate going on here. Am not usually into commenting and rather enjoy to be watching from the ringside, but let me just give you my two cents:
Everything actually hinges on yourself. I spent most of my younger days abroad, had a difficult time reajusting to Indonesian as a young adult, but when I look back I can see that what you get is what you actually give out.
Look at people the way you would want people to look at you, and although I cannot vouch for a 100 percent success rate, it has been really helpful for me.
Once you start into stereotyping, don’t complain if others do that too.
Easylaaaahhhh.
Rob Says:
August 27th, 2008 at 5:28 pm
People’s perceptions on inter-racial relationships are what they are! You will never convince everybody of your sincerity or love or anything else. The beauty of IM is that you get to see the extremes of the stereotypes that exist. Those with an axe to grind and those that naively try and explain from their own personal circumstances why the stereotypes are wrong.

Ultimately, it comes down to you! Who you are? How you value your relationship (married or otherwise)?

In general, my take is that anyone involved in an inter-racial relationship will do just fine here and have few if any problems. That said there are idiots in any country who feel the need to comment on something that they have no personal experience with or no way of understanding — take that sort of stuff with a grain of salt!

Life is too short to be worried about what others think of your choice in life partner!