How to Get a Bule Man

April 14th, 2008, in Girls, by Patung

View the original article here.

Tags: Advice, Books, Bule, Bules, Dating, Expats, Foreigners, Husband, Indonesians, Marriage, Relationships, Romance, Western, Westerners, Women

296 Comments on “How to Get a Bule Man”

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Andrew Says:
April 14th, 2008 at 7:37 pm
The weird habits of bule men are pointed out as a warning to Indonesian women, such as

they like dogs
they sleep without the lights on
they like to cook for themselves

I wonder who’s weird, the bules or Erlinawati.

Who is she anyway?
Rob Says:
April 14th, 2008 at 9:57 pm
posted a comment but it disappeared before making it onto the page…ouch!
Bas Says:
April 15th, 2008 at 12:51 am
I’ll buy it. Thanks for the info about this precious book….
Lairedion Says:
April 15th, 2008 at 2:02 am
they sleep without the lights on

Nature covers half the Earth in dark and our biological clock says it’s time to sleep but Indo chicks find it weird bules switch the lights off.
Pena Budaya Says:
April 15th, 2008 at 2:13 am
they like dogs

This is already a stereotype. I am Indonesian and love dogs (not only liking), meanwhile majority of my European friends don’t fancy dogs.

I wonder if a book that based on stereotyping and generalisation will help Indonesians in their romantic relationship with “bules”. This book makes a bule/foreigner sounds like having no personalities at all.
nadia febina Says:
April 15th, 2008 at 2:17 am
Hi Patung..
Do bules like it at all to be called a bule.. think it is rude. Isn’t life too short to be put in boxes? I wonder if this book sells..
timdog Says:
April 15th, 2008 at 3:49 am
Ok, the fundamental issue is this - who is this Erlinawati? What are her qualifications to write this book? Does she have a whole harem of bules she has collected over the years? Does she practice her skills of a weekend on Blok M?

And more seriously - marginally more seriously - if she really does have a bule partner/husband, how the f$%Â£ does this book make him feel about their relationship?

Whoa, I’ve got an idea, perhaps she is Mr bule in disguise! That would certainly give her qualifications to write this book… wait a minute! Could Erlinawati actually be our own dear Ross in drag? Could this be his latest tome????

Erlinawati’s hot tip #43 - When in bed with Mr Bule, if you really want to turn him on then you should discuss the threat of the Reds that may be hiding under aforementioned bed…
Patung Says:
April 15th, 2008 at 3:59 am
Hi Nadia, there was a long discussion on that on the Jalan Jaksa thread, personally it doesn’t bother me.

On the book, I tried getting it last night, they’d sold out….
Mach Jabber Says:
April 15th, 2008 at 5:18 am
Be waiting for the “How to catch Ms. Bule” version.
Rob Says:
April 15th, 2008 at 6:35 am
or the bule version of “How to catch Ms. Indonesia”…afterall Indonesia is a big city and Jakarta is a big country!
Rob Says:
April 15th, 2008 at 6:44 am
Patung…

The fact that the book is sold out is a post in itself! How many were printed? Where did you try and buy it? Who is buying it? All questions worthy of answers! I am going to check out a few Gramedia’s (I was thinking of the big Gramedia on Salemba Raya) today and will let people know via here and my blog how I go!

Timdog…

Maybe Erlinawati’s life history is printed on the sleeve? I will let ya know if I get a copy! Maybe her bule partner feels good about the book because he can sit at home or somewhere else relaxing while the royalties roll in! A bit of stereotype reversal from what generally gets trotted out about some poor Indonesian women attaching herself to Mr. Bule for financial reasons…Maybe Mr. Bule has attached himself to an Indonesian women for financial security reasons in this case…

Then again the “facts” in this case may be a whole lot less fun than mine and other commentators vivid imaginations
Murphy Says:
April 15th, 2008 at 8:41 am
Actually, I can’t see how you can write book about relationship without heavy doses of generalisations.

I mean the most popular book about relationship was not called “Some Men are From Mars and Some Women are from Venus and Of Course There are Women Who Come from Mars and Vice Versa”
Achmad Sudarsono Says:
April 15th, 2008 at 8:58 am
Patoeng,

Where do you get this stuff ?? Congratulations —

Awesome.
Janma Says:
April 15th, 2008 at 11:37 am
he can sit at home or somewhere else relaxing while the royalties roll in!

I wonder how much they make per copy? at 25 thou, it can’t be much!

Janma’s Catch A Bule Song

One Two Three Four Five
Find em in a dirty dive
Six Seven Eight Nine Ten
If your smart, put em back again.
Janma Says:
April 15th, 2008 at 11:45 am
Plus, I’d like to point out that on the little flower petal graphic on the cover of the book…. there is a BLACK man! So, it seems that no matter what the indo chocky girls say it seems bule doesn’t really mean ‘white skin’ it actually means, “person from a developed country (negara maju) , probably with more money than us.”

Janma….
*who suddenly realizes why that word bugged her so much!*
Achmad Sudarsono Says:
April 15th, 2008 at 11:56 am
Bu Janma Yth,

You’re looking stunning and stylish in the new pic - as expected. : P

Putting a black man on the back might have been a marketing faux pas given the racism towards our dark-skinned friends. (IIIIhhh ! Orang Hitam — takut !!). Try asking around in Bali

Royalties are usually 12-15 % of the book. Recent just-in-time publishing technology’s brought down the cost of publishing, allowing, unfortunately, the likes of Ross to peddle their literary wares.
Farah Says:
April 15th, 2008 at 12:13 pm
Sigh..
I’m not even finish with my reading “Why Man Married Bitches” yet.. along with the other book “Why man never listen and woman can’t read maps”
So much guidance for girls to be happy (you have to had a man to be happy, yeah right *rolling my eyes*).
And this time how to get Mr Bule.. (??) i mean.. bule or no bule, they are MAN ! and i think all you had to do is use the same approach, okay.. might improvise a bit.. but still.. they are MAN. Whats the difference tho…(the result ? yeah sure!)

This book sold ?? hmmm…. hehehe…. guess everybody want short cut to have children to be sinetron player…
Rob Says:
April 15th, 2008 at 1:05 pm
Managed to grab a copy from Gramedia in Bekasi…there were two tall piles of them…

Erlinawati is married to the journalist Duncan Graham and they are currently living in New Zealand…

To answer Timdog’s question about how he feels about this…well apparently he helped write it!
Lairedion Says:
April 15th, 2008 at 1:53 pm
Erlinawati is married to the journalist Duncan Graham and they are currently living in New Zealand”¦

Does bule here refer to a man from the English speaking world (US, UK, Ireland, Canada, SA, Oz, NZ)?
timdog Says:
April 15th, 2008 at 4:29 pm
Rob -

Erlinawati is married to the journalist Duncan Graham

Well how about that! I’d always respected Duncan Graham as an (almost) serious journalist, and definitely a good profile writer…
Now I know that he was either “caught” by Mbak Erlinawati with her wicked bule-snaring techniques - or that he was involved - as the principle party perhaps? - in this cynical exercise I’m afraid my respect has diminished a little…
kangbayu Says:
April 15th, 2008 at 5:16 pm
Afaik, the royalty for writers in Indonesia is about 10% (some are even less), this is the case, especially with big publishers such as Gramedia. On rare case the writer could get up to 15% royalty, i.e. if you’re considered really famous, like Pramudya Ananta Toer.
Patung Says:
April 15th, 2008 at 5:34 pm
Yeah found it in Trimedia, doesn’t look like it’s flying off the shelves - I’ve actually been in Erlinawati’s house in Surabaya, although didn’t meet her just saw Duncan. She’s from Manado if I’m not wrong.
Lairedion Says:
April 15th, 2008 at 6:21 pm
Manado? Mmmm, happen to know her last name? Perhaps she’s a distant relative of mine.
M. Nur Says:
April 15th, 2008 at 6:40 pm
I have a lot of bule friends and most of them like to hang out in bars, so lady go there…
Farah Says:
April 15th, 2008 at 6:54 pm
I have a lot of bule friends and most of them like to hang out in bars, so lady go there”¦

hehehe.. and you will find drunk bule.. don’t know the difference between florr and ceilings… nice advice.. hehehe

Lots other decent places than bar….
ANNIKA Says:
April 16th, 2008 at 12:40 am
I’ve a big secret to get a good Indonesian woman.
Tony Says:
April 16th, 2008 at 12:45 am
A better book would be how to catch Ms. Indonesian Beauty. After having the pleasure of dating many Indonesian beauties–some poor, some rich and some like me–neither rich or poor–I can say that this would be a better book to write. Women have never had a hard time finding a man–it is men who have a hard time finding a woman–universal.

Even though I am half Asian–I grew up in the west and have to say that the western men I know like Asian women because of their natural beauty–it is very mysterious and sexy. BUT, when you really get to know the Asian woman–she is very much like the western woman–in my opinion. No different–all women like nice things: food, house, temperament, life, etc.

Remember brothers, all women, and I mean all women, all over the world consider themselves sisters so we should learn to tread very carefully with women from any part of the world. “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned”–words to live by.
ANNIKA Says:
April 16th, 2008 at 1:32 am
For both side man and woman “watch your step, no hurry”
Rob Says:
April 16th, 2008 at 5:37 am
I have now read the book and jotted down some thoughts and observations at/in my own little part of cyber space…
Farah Says:
April 16th, 2008 at 8:12 am
If there’s a book that Indonesian woman should have is a book that tells about what would it be to marry an expat. What will going to be happened, whats their future is mostly about.
How to meet Mr Bule is only like stepping into the start line on a marathon race and you can’t see the finish line or where the track goes, what obstacles or what good scenery lies beyond those start lines.
What woman should know, what will they face to had relationship with expat. What is it like to raise “half breed” (please don’t get offended) children, the fact that if they stay in Indonesia thety should go to EXPENSIVE international schools, what is their choice of places to live, the cons living in husband country or whats the cons of living in separated country with husband.
The cultures difference, living without no “pembantu” and simply all alone in other country with all different language or cultures.. start right when you open your eyes in the morning and when goes to sleep. And about what will happened if they face the divorce.
I would want to see that kind of book.. it will be better if the writers are Indonesian woman, not only one, but several, that share their experiences.
Not all about the fun, but also about the cons. of living with expat husband (expat means they not indonesian in general). The reall story. Cause we know.. there’s happy relationship, but also there’s relationship that full of tears.

That would help lots of woman in Indonesia to have some point of view. Anybody interested to start ???