Insults & Comebacks

Dec 22nd, 2007, in Opinion, by Achmad Sudarsono

View the original article here.

61 Comments on “Insults & Comebacks”

Pages: « 1 [2] 3 »

Aluang Anak Bayang Says:
December 22nd, 2007 at 9:26 pm
Man, you are not my type, I prefer my steak well done.
Mohammed Khafi Says:
December 22nd, 2007 at 9:27 pm
AAB is probably praying to his Beloved Prophet Joyoboyo, or possibly helping Achmad convert his VESPA into a powersource for their UFO.

Peace
iamisaid Says:
December 22nd, 2007 at 9:34 pm
Man, you are not my type, I prefer my steak well done.

*at ease lips!

~massages his lips

Oh mannn, what took you so long? My luscious lips were puckered for past 2 hours till it turned blue, waiting to meet yours!
Dragonwall Says:
December 23rd, 2007 at 2:22 am
Honestly speaking no one speaks english or write english in this manner and by the look you could really gauge this guy could probably be a wikipedian using the dictionary all the time. English, Australian or American don’t use those words on extensive terms not even in court or classrooms.
It really shows a person not that down to earth speaking human terms. He is definitely not a bule and definitely not the real person in goggle glass.
You bet.
Aluang Anak Bayang Says:
December 23rd, 2007 at 8:07 am
Do I sense jealousy here?

Just because a brown man’s grammatical style and vocab are far more superior than your Singlish, he is branded a wikipedian and dictionary clutcher. That tells how out of touch you are with Indonesians. I bet you are the one using dictionary everytime Mas Sudarsono posted a comment.
Achmad Sudarsono Says:
December 23rd, 2007 at 8:55 am
Hey,

Easy guys.

The only unusual words I used above were, semblance, desecration, rustic, and nincompoop. They all have a precise purpose.

I don’t believe in using fancy or obscure words to show off. I believe in leaning towards simple, clear English, but still tapping the richness of the language when one can.

Here’s an excerpt from a great language Guru, Fowler (see below). In his “King’s English,” he sounds a bit stern and pompous, but it’s generally great advice. I think it’s also better to see them as guidelines. As Oigal pointed out in a recent post, people sometimes use grammar “rules” to intimidate and patronise other people.

Language should be a tool of freedom and not just for the ‘educated’ few. For goddsake’s some of the worst writers I’ve come across have been professors.

At the same time, like a building, it needs structure. Sussing out the trade off is the mark of a good writer, which maybe one day in the very distant future I’ll become.

http://www.bartleby.com/116/101.html

H.W. Fowler (1858-1933). The King’s English, 2nd ed. 1908.

Chapter I. Vocabulary

GENERAL

ANY one who wishes to become a good writer should endeavour, before he allows himself to be tempted by the more showy qualities, to be direct, simple, brief, vigorous, and lucid.

This general principle may be translated into practical rules in the domain of vocabulary as follows:””

Prefer the familiar word to the far-fetched.
Prefer the concrete word to the abstract.
Prefer the single word to the circumlocution.
Prefer the short word to the long.
Prefer the Saxon word to the Romance. 1
dewaratugedeanom Says:
December 23rd, 2007 at 4:17 pm
Aluang Anak Bayang said

Many believe that the time for the arrival of a new Ratu Adil is near (as the prophecies put it, “when iron wagons could drive without horses and ships could sail through the sky”), “¦

Fellow Indonesians, Saudara, Saudari,

The time has come to reveal my true identity. We (note pluralis majestatis), Dewa Ratu Gede Anom, are a virtual reincarnation of Gajah Mada, statesman and warlord of the great Empire of Majapahit. Prapanca, a court poet and historian of his time who composed the Nagarakertagama, described Gajah Mada as “eloquent, sharp of speech, upright, and sober-minded.”
We have come to earth to herald the ‘Reconquista’ and pave the way for the dawn of the new Empire. Our rebirth took place in ‘Second Life’ but We escaped and landed in IM.

May the Force be with Us. Majapahit will rule again. Merdeka!

Season’s Greetings to all of you.
TheWrathOfGrapes Says:
December 23rd, 2007 at 10:11 pm
Achmad, methinks you are losing it. You see, you need an article of 1,075 words to teach others the art of insults. My response of only 6 words is having the desired effect of riling certain people’s sensitivities. Over to you now.
Achmad Sudarsono Says:
December 24th, 2007 at 8:25 am
Dear Wrath,

No – it’s a question of teaching people to deliver the Gettysburg Address, as opposed to just delivering it. Also, there’s the question of quality of pissed-offness. I had some excellent responses. Finally, there’s the question of doing it consistently over time.
cheerstospears Says:
December 24th, 2007 at 11:39 am
Oh achmad achmad achmad… grab me thy embrace!

whitegirl_in denial_aka_achmad sudarsono’s future 5th wive
Achmad Sudarsono Says:
December 24th, 2007 at 1:46 pm
Cheerstospears,

As we haven’t met – yet – I see even the mention of my Koes Ploes albums, peci, moustache and insulting ability has won you over. Va Va Voom !

And Sayang, yes, as a true pancasilaist, I embrace all 5 of Indonsia’s religions, including Hindu, which allows me 5 wives.

Va Va Va VOOM !
roffi Says:
December 25th, 2007 at 8:57 pm
achmad – salam kenal aja, its fun reading the comments here
Achmad Sudarsono Says:
December 26th, 2007 at 8:15 am
Roffi,

What are you being nice to an asshole (me) who enjoys offending and insulting other people ?
TheWrathOfGrapes Says:
December 26th, 2007 at 9:44 am
Achmad – why, not what. Now you are insulting my kindergarten English….
Achmad Sudarsono Says:
December 26th, 2007 at 1:49 pm
Dear Wrath,

No, just nga ngerti aja. Wouldn’t insult your English.
Janma Says:
December 27th, 2007 at 11:10 am
IAMISaid

Do you know that you impale your arguement by throwing red herrings into the discussion?

…. impaled by a red herring. Ouch…..
TheWrathOfGrapes Says:
December 27th, 2007 at 3:38 pm
Janma Says:

December 27th, 2007 at 11:10 am
IAMISaid

Do you know that you impale your arguement by throwing red herrings into the discussion?

“¦. impaled by a red herring. Ouch”¦..

Bill Clinton was accused of smoking pot while he was a student at Oxford, and his excuse was, “yes, I did smoke, but I did not inhale.”

Much late, while he was President and was caught having oral sex with Monica Lewinsky, his excuse was, “yes, I did have sex with her, but I did not impale.”

P/S – no Bill didn’t come up with the second excuse – I made that up.
Janma Says:
December 28th, 2007 at 11:27 am
i remember bill clinton saying that…. he smoked but didn’t inhale… at the same time there was some (canadian bike rider I think?) who was tested positive for drugs and his excuse was that he inhaled it but he didn’t smoke it…. (passive)
Dragonwall Says:
January 7th, 2008 at 5:27 am
Always the sense of jealousy will come from someone who feels that other comments were wrapped with suspicious.

No one person, except a dictionary clutcher and or a wikipedian will put words in such a manner instead of writing common english, there is nothing much to envy about.

I notice none of you whomsoever came close to the State Ideology since you guy have earlier championed.

It is always the achievements tht will make people envy or jealous and not otherwise so the grammartical vocab doesn’t rings a bell to me at all.
Fred Floggle Says:
January 7th, 2008 at 9:01 am
Its amusing to see a little boy sitting on the dung heap of Asia telling everyone he is king of the castle.

What most of you don’t know is that he is Australian born and STILL holds and Australian passport. He has a small business in Jalan Jaksa and sleeps with his employees (often without their consent).

When either Indonesia turns to sh*t or he retires, he will run back to Australia to pick up his pension.
Achmad Sudarsono Says:
January 7th, 2008 at 2:51 pm
Fred,

Not a bad try. It’s true, it’s hard to be more pathetic than run a small business on Jl. Jaksa, home to JakChat, unless its the “Piss Salon.”

Alas, however, way off the mark.
perseus Says:
January 7th, 2008 at 5:45 pm
My favorite insults and comebacks from from the cricket field – currently covered in infamy on account of a little brown monkey called Harbajan Singh getting suspended for calling an Australian a monkey. Deplorable. Gee what ever happened to the white people being racist mofos??? The brown mofos are taking over… Dudes, what gives???

Now I realize some of youse Javanese civilized gentlefolk are far too elegant (and far too up yourselves) to engage in a game so crass as cricket but the game does throw up some excellent insults.

Hey Achmad, how are your wives and my kids?

Hey Perseus, how come you are so fat?

Hey Achmad, because every time I f*ck your three wives they each give me a biscuit.

Adapted for this thread from the top 10 cricket sledges… Now that is kulcha, maaate.
Achmad Sudarsono Says:
January 7th, 2008 at 5:51 pm
Perseus,

You definitely fit into category 1. See Bules and White Men article. Cricket was a gentlemen’s sport until the Australians started to play it.
Dragonwall Says:
January 8th, 2008 at 12:39 am
No.no.no.cricket is the rich man’s sport in China long long ago..cricket fighting..
perseus Says:
January 8th, 2008 at 7:04 pm
Cricket was a gentlemen’s sport until the Australians started to play it.

Bollocks! It was the South Africans and the Pakistanis who stuffed it up

Actually cricket like all forms of sport went south when the let professionals on the field. Rugby union went to pot once they let the sponsors and the money in.
Oigal Says:
January 15th, 2008 at 4:36 pm
What our idiot friend does not realise is that not all of his readers are anywhere stable or rational people and he runs the very real risk of getting someone hurt. Of course that is to be expected from someone who has spent their whole life in a sheltered environment. Still lots to be said for Karma..
Achmad Sudarsono Says:
January 15th, 2008 at 6:20 pm
Oigal,

I don’t think loony right wing skinheads are going to be trawling or trolling Indonesia Matters.

Anyway, I’m retiring.

No more blog. No more articles.
dewaratugedeanom Says:
January 15th, 2008 at 8:34 pm
Achmad

Anyway, I’m retiring.

Just like Borat ?
Achmad Sudarsono Says:
January 15th, 2008 at 10:53 pm
Like Achmad.
Oigal Says:
January 16th, 2008 at 8:13 am
Gee I wish..still on the off (why does that word come to mind so easily when talking to you) chance you are serious..Retired or not..You remain a major league immature dick.