56 Comments on “Picking Up Girls”
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Achmad Sudarsono Says:
December 15th, 2007 at 1:46 pmDragonwall,
BTW impressive, bro. Achmad.
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unjaded Says:
January 7th, 2008 at 7:12 amHi Achmad,
Love your satirical article, dude. Your alter ego reminds me of the leading actors of the cheesy Indonesian movies in the 70ies.
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Fred Floggle Says:
January 7th, 2008 at 8:43 amI use a similar technique, with a visual modification.
I stand in the mall and flop out my weapon with a 20 dollar bill wrapped around the end.
always works.
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January 7th, 2008 at 9:31 amDear Unjaded,
Most of them are my friends, including (the late) Dono, Kasino, Indro, and in fact, took their personalities from me ! I don’t mind, Friend, I am always ready to help Indonesia.
Fred,
You couldn’t pick up women with a tractor. There are some people who these techniques won’t help.
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Purba Negoro Says:
March 22nd, 2008 at 3:03 pmYour pitiful attempt at sarcasm is quite clearly transparent as stereotypical and provocative racial slur against a native Javanese.
It was one step away from “Ching Chong chinaman wenna milk a cow…” “look my Diocky is slippy” routine.
Pathetic.Safari suit with a Garuda pin?
Let me guess- typed with the same self-inflated sneer of the Western lower-middle class overweight moral masturbator fuming silently with his envy of ‘lesser” brown people’s wealth.Most probably an English teacher or multi-national puppet. Renting a house in Podok Indah near JIS?
I’m assuming you’re an Anglo-pilferer (Australian) because of your total lack of any decorum- far cruder than the worst hick Yank could muster.
Liposuction will clear up that atypical fatty upper pubic area- so at least you’ll be able to see you’re knob for the first time since your twenties and it may look full-grown.
An invaliant effort that failed miserably. Ask your screw to loosen your shackles, convict, the blood ‘s pooling away from your brain.
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March 22nd, 2008 at 4:10 pmUm, nice try, Purba, sort of. Have we met each other in real life ?
But I recommend seeing my post on insults for some technical tips on winding someone up.
Also, maybe you could help me out.
atypical upper pubic area
Do you mean “gut” ?
You also seem confused about whether or not Achmad is a middle-class Western English teacher or someone renting a house in Pondok Indah near JIS.
Friend, Achmad is a poet, ukuele player, dangdut singer and pencak silat master.
Merdeka !
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Aluang Anak Bayang Says:
March 22nd, 2008 at 6:37 pmLOL @ Achmad Sudarsono
You may fool non-Indonesians and other pribumis like Cuk; but you can’t get past a Javanese. Some dumb Bules can’t even thought you are English, but I have been in Oz land long enough to recognise your vocabulary.
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March 22nd, 2008 at 8:04 pmAluang,
As Sun Tzu said, know your enemy. When we invade Australia we’ll need administrators to rule. Maybe, if Purba (what’s a Javanese doing with a Batak name, anyway??), calms down we’ll give him a job as a policeman so he can live out his sexual fantasy of beating up Bules.
Merdeka !
Va Va Voom !
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dewaratugedeanom Says:
March 22nd, 2008 at 8:24 pmWhat’s wrong with that Purba wanker? A priyayi on steroids? Overdose of testosteron?
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March 22nd, 2008 at 8:37 pmI think under-dose
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March 22nd, 2008 at 8:44 pmMaybe, if Purba (what’s a Javanese doing with a Batak name, anyway??), …
If used as a name, he is a Batak; but Purba Negoro is not a name.
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Lairedion Says:
March 22nd, 2008 at 8:58 pmPurba Negoro reminds me a bit of Dragonwall. Joining discussions with immediately foul mouthing and name calling. There’s only one difference. Dragonwall never lost a discussion…
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Tony Says:
May 23rd, 2008 at 9:51 amAll Hail Achmad!
Dude, you’re a stud
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May 23rd, 2008 at 11:52 amThanks, Tone.
With my tricks, and Picking Up Chicks in Malls II (soon to come), you can be too.
Grrrrr…owl !
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Rob Says:
May 23rd, 2008 at 12:30 pmAchmad…
How much longer have we gotta wait for the next round of tips?
When is this invasion happening! I will need to organize my affairs and prepare to head back to my homeland and marshall the forces to bundle your arse all the way back to Purbolingo
By the way I have not seen PN around the traps lately. A flurry of posts and then disappeared…Oh well!
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May 23rd, 2008 at 12:42 pmRob,
A whole bunch of well-known IM commenters seem to have disappeared:
- iamisaid
- dragonwall
- Mohammed Khafi (one comment last week and now gone again)
- Aluang Anak Bayang (one comment last week and now gone again)What a pity. All these guys gave some diversity to IM in their own distinctive ways. C’mon guys, come back, we miss you!
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May 23rd, 2008 at 1:05 pmLaire,
They’ve probably got real lives : P !
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May 23rd, 2008 at 3:11 pmAchmad,
Probably you’re right.
Still I miss the sarcasm of AAB, the peace and love of MK, the baiting fish dragonwall and the archaic English of iamisaid…
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Johnny "Pull" Says:
January 5th, 2009 at 12:59 pmThis is pretty hilarious stuff. Achmad are you a real dude or is this some sort of Borat type thing?
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Adam Says:
November 8th, 2009 at 7:25 pmOke Achmad
I can see your problem here. You are getting your ‘pick up’ lines mixed up with your ‘hang onto’ lines as you did state that your intention was to find a replacement istri or three.
So clearly if you have done and continue to trawl the myriad of malls thoughout tanah air looking for those special 3, you clearly need to brush up on your ‘hang onto’ lines as mentioned. ‘Pick up’ lines just don’t seem to be doing it for you.
Nasib terbaik old son.
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Adam Says:
November 8th, 2009 at 7:32 pmOh btw Achmad,
If you are going to invade the land of Aussie, could you please bring a couple of cases of Bintang with you. I haven’t had one for about 15 years and I do miss it dreadfully.
Good chap, I’ll light the bbq in preparation.
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Oigal Says:
November 8th, 2009 at 8:06 pmJohnny.. We can’t afford the real Borat so we have to do with Crocodile and old order supporter and pasty bule Assmad
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Danny Says:
November 8th, 2009 at 11:59 pmGreat article!! lol..
Another tip, the best day to hunt is Friday (nothing’s wrong with the other days though), don’t know why, maybe because they wanted someone for Saturday night
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nonstopsexmachinesixitynine Says:
August 9th, 2010 at 10:02 amAchmad your system had turned my life around I have been getting sweet poon tangs non stop right now a woman is pleasuring me with her mouth as I type this message to you. Your system of picking up hot babes works if you don’t believe this will work for you stop having sex with your blow up doll and then try this system for yourself it will get you laid every night. I promise you there no way
you won’t see results. Also start a band Chicks love bands no matter how bad you sound it doesn’t matter how much you suck at all it just about lookin’ SMOKIN’ HOT wearing eyeliner and other make-up products like lip stick. Play hair hair metal because Chiciks love bon Jovi and stuff like that Posion, Guns and Roses so on and so fourth.Listen to everything Mystrey from Mtv’s Pickup artist has to say because he and Achmad are walking Holy Bibles of Epic Proportions of Meeting and most importantly Picking up the ladies to cummenese the launchin’ and landin’ of your inrternantional space love rocket of love.
I am About to Make sweet Love To This beautiful women thank you achmad I recommened your system to others if it worked for me it will work for you Achamd has guaranteed results of his superior knowledege of scoring and turning you yes you into a sex magent like a tiger who was locked up in a cage but burst free ferocious and with a ragin’ boner in a sexually frenzy humpin’ non-stop anything and everything in sight that is a female or closely resembles a female.
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nonstopsexmachinesixitynine Says:
August 9th, 2010 at 10:11 amWinning the hearts of Young Ladies
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BrotherMouzone Says:
August 9th, 2010 at 8:16 pm@nonstopsexmachinesixitynine
I am About to Make sweet Love To This beautiful women thank you achmad I recommened your system to others if it worked for me it will work for you Achamd has guaranteed results of his superior knowledege of scoring and turning you yes you into a sex magent like a tiger who was locked up in a cage but burst free ferocious and with a ragin’ boner in a sexually frenzy humpin’ non-stop anything and everything in sight that is a female or closely resembles a female.
I really don’t know what to say… I feel like there should be links to a p0rn site somewhere in your comment – or at least the very least to a Viagra pharmacy.
Do you make a living writing spam emails, by any chance?
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