53 Comments on “Picking Up Girls”
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Stefan Says:
December 8th, 2007 at 7:29 amAre you American or why do you use feet and pounds?
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Achmad Sudarsono Says:
December 8th, 2007 at 8:30 amStefan,
The pounds I’m mainly interested in are those hugging the rump of those feisty fillies in Plaza Indonesia. Va Va Voom !
American English seems to be dominant, but admittedly, I flit back and forth across in the Atlantic in style, like the globe-trotting ladies man that I am.
Merdeka !
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falcon Says:
December 8th, 2007 at 1:51 pmIf there is a census, most likely 90% of the population is ugly. Which one is your choice?.
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Aluang Anak Bayang Says:
December 8th, 2007 at 2:19 pmfalcon Says: +0
December 8th, 2007 at 1:51 pm
If there is a census, most likely 90% of the population is ugly. Which one is your choice?.Something tells me that you are interested only in boys. Typical English teacher or shelves stacker.
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Wilson Says:
December 8th, 2007 at 9:24 pmThe last comment about “typical English teacher” being “interested only in boys” is pretty low…is Aluang really Ross using a local name?
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Dragonwall Says:
December 9th, 2007 at 1:36 amChicks cookin..Black lookin..GOSONG…..
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Oigal Says:
December 9th, 2007 at 10:39 amAssmad has not really “told it like it is” here.. Its biggest point of Interest for the opposite sex (not that they would touch it) is IT has two penises albeit small.
Easily proven..noone could be this silly just playing with one.
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December 9th, 2007 at 11:15 amDear All,
Oigal’s comment is true. He asked me to send him photos. But, my Indonesia Matters friends, showers aren’t necessarily growers and vice versa. I wasn’t even at half mast. In my fully unfurled glory, it’s like the Pillars of Hercules.
Va Va Voom !
Merdeka !
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Anita McKay Says:
December 9th, 2007 at 9:52 pmFirst of all, why does Achmad think it’s necessary to give tips about picking up girls? Is it because most of male readers of Indonesia Matters are so lousy in dating games they need advices from someone like Achmad?
Second, why malls? Worse, why Plaza Semanggi? Is it because lots of college students go there, is Achmad targetting very young, naive girls?
Third, if Achmad has practiced his own theories and failed (many times, as he claims), then how others could follow? Just to have fun, getting a slap in the face on sunny Sunday afternoon? Is Achmad into BDSM?
Last, the whole advice is funny. Couldn’t stop laughing Achmad grooming his mustache and roaming around malls with his peci”¦
PS: and I thought girls go to malls for shopping! I should warn my girlfriends about a “5 ft 1 “, 120 pounds” guy, who’s “staring out from big, googly, spectacles” and looks like the antithesis of Brad Pitt, showing his Peter Townsend moves to no-one at malls. Achmad darling, kindly share your social schedule so we could avoid you please, especially because I’m going back home for holiday next week!
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December 10th, 2007 at 7:41 amDear Anita,
Your friends can contact me for a little lovin’ , poetry and Koes Ploes on achmadtellsit@yahoo.com
On advice, for guys like Ross, it’s obvious. They need all the help they can get. But I always just want to share the love. Every man dreams of being a latter-day Casanova and having the same effect on girls the Beatles did in the ’60s. I can help Indonesia Matters men achieve that dream.
Guys, also check out “Oli Arab” in Lampu Merah newspaper. We’ll get on to “Ma Erot” a bit later…
Tom.
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Yohan Says:
December 10th, 2007 at 10:07 amHAha, Achmad’s face is so funny, but, I couldn’t agree more with Anita.
If you want to TP2, night market will be a good place Achmad. -
December 10th, 2007 at 10:57 amTom.
Tomorrow, I mean besok, I will share more secrets.
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parvita Says:
December 10th, 2007 at 12:16 pmAchmad is Sumanto’s twin brother. Sumanto, the cannibal. Btw, the posting is hillarious!
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December 10th, 2007 at 2:52 pmDear Parvita,
I hope you don’t think I am joking. Friend, there are tens of thousands of lonely boys out there who could benefit from Achmad’s wisdom.
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iamisaid Says:
December 10th, 2007 at 3:47 pmAchmad,
I am exempted from picking up girls.
I once stayed in Bukit Tinggi for 4 days. During that time, my friend’s middle age sister said she find me a wife. Said she, I could leave my wife in Bkt. Tinggi but at least visit her once a year. I was shown a decent unoccupied house and told that it would become ours should I accept her marriage offer.
That middle age woman was not kidding about it!
I stumped her by saying that provided she finds the girl before midnight and I am not circumcised, Alhamdullilah! (It was 11:35 when I countered her offer)
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December 10th, 2007 at 3:55 pmiamisaid,
On Islam’s true path, the true circumcision happens in the mind. ($$#??!!).
Friend, but be careful. There are alot of Parangs around in Bukittinggi. And those padang women can take matters into their own hands. Could be bloody. And painful.
Va Va Voom ! Merdeka !
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December 10th, 2007 at 4:51 pmAchmad I think you’re really in love with Parvita. Does she know about your dangdut trophy?
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December 10th, 2007 at 4:55 pmIt that be the case Achmad (“On Islam’s true path, the true circumcision happens in the mind”), then I have been circumcised countless times !
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Marisa Duma Says:
December 10th, 2007 at 6:51 pmDear All,
Oigal’s comment is true. He asked me to send him photos. But, my Indonesia Matters friends, showers aren’t necessarily growers and vice versa. I wasn’t even at half mast. In my fully unfurled glory, it’s like the Pillars of Hercules.
Va Va Voom !
Merdeka !
LOL ROFL WTF
This website is sicker than I thought.
OH MY GOD ACHMAD..it’s December, Christmas time, sir.. go home..to your homeland..
Hug your mama, wrap gifts, feed the pigeons, smell the fresh air of the Western world..
This tropical sun is a bit too much for you…Indonesia will always welcome your return! We love ya.
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December 10th, 2007 at 8:09 pmAt the moment I am in the land downunder on a solo business trip. Here all I need to get picked up by chicks is to walk into a bar and chat one up. Usually a pack of ciggi would do, or a can of beer. It is that easy especially you have a tan skin.
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December 10th, 2007 at 8:30 pmDown and under Wayyyy to go Aluang Anak Bayang !
Go! Go! Go!
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December 10th, 2007 at 11:50 pmDear Anita,
I just returned from a live performance at Blora in Jakarta, at “Achmad Unplugged,” playing, amongst other tunes, a cover of the Iwan Fals song, “Sunatan Massal.” I’m also a big fan of Gito Rollies and Bimbo.
As for being in love with Parvita, like my idol Soekarno, I am in love with all of Indonesian womanhood. I salute him for naming a department store, Sarinah, after his wet nurse, the one who took his virginty. Va Va Voom !
Dear Marisa,
My hometown is Purbolingo. My homeland is Indonesia. Sometime I will play for you, (maybe via Mp3), “Kereta Api Malam,” and “Halo Halo Bandung,” on my Ukuele – that’s if you can handle my mojo.
Merdeka !
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December 11th, 2007 at 8:08 amSpeaking about circumcision, I have an article on my blog about that. Would be interesting to know your view on it, Achmad, especially if you know that chopping your foreskin reduces its growth by 25%.
Anita: I’m into dangdut too, actually. I’ve always had dangdut as my call waiting melody. I’m a big fan of Iwan Fals as well, currently my NSP is ‘ Guru Umar Bakri’. Some similarity with Achmad here…..scaaaarrrrryyyyyy…..
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December 11th, 2007 at 9:20 amParvita, Friend,
Do you mean chopping foreskin reduces ‘burung’ growth by 25 percent or foreskin growth. My main views on circumcision is that it should be a community affair, preferable down with at least 20 boys at once, with loud Dangdut in the background.
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dewaratugedeanom Says:
December 11th, 2007 at 4:04 pmSlightly off topic but I wonder if Indonesia Matters is becoming a photo model agency. Or is it just my imagination?
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December 15th, 2007 at 1:07 amAchmad is a gay man. and iamisaid you are entrapped into a ‘kontrak kawin” duh… i suppose it was new to you then..huh..As could advice you better with his do t all magic goggle.
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December 15th, 2007 at 3:05 am{amisaid you are entrapped into a ‘kontrak kawin”}
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha dragonwall,
The proposed marriage would not be as threatening as being circumcised !!!
Mannnnn, what do I tell my wife when I reach home walking like Donald Duck?
“Oh that Darling – my fearsome got caught in the zip and I saw the entire galaxy” -
December 15th, 2007 at 3:37 amOne thing in life is that when you are on your way to success, never try another hand on something new to you, like woman.
The Chinese saying is that “There is a knife on above sex”. The character ‘ 色 ‘ in chinese for sex has a knife ‘ 刀 ‘written on top of it you see.
You may not belief sex is dirty and in everyone’s life rich or poor, healthy or handicapped, good or bad.
One other Chinese saying was also true ‘The feeling of being Poor has not end, sexual desire persist in his mind’ ‘ ç©·å¿ƒæœªæ» , 色心åˆèµ· ‘.
It may be just Duck Walk, the consequence will burnt a big hole in your pocket. Alimony my man.
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December 15th, 2007 at 1:01 pmAchmad, I’ve been back to Indonesia for 2 days and thankfully I haven’t seen you wandering around malls picking up girls… or perhaps you’ve been to Martha Tilaar salon and had lulur and facial so you look better now?
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December 15th, 2007 at 1:42 pmDear Anita,
Yes. It’s true. I went to Martha Tilaar salon. If you’d like to discuss further, drop me an e-mail on achmadtellsit@yahoo.com. But be warned, I am an Olympic-class charmer.
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