Polygamous Marriage

March 9th, 2007, in News, by Patung

A man is imprisoned for unlawful polygamy.

Riduwan, otherwise known as Iwan, 31 years old, from Jambi, was sentenced to ten months jail for taking a second wife without his first wife’s permission. Riduwan falsified details on his (second) marriage certificate, giving the impression that permission had been given.

Although the ten month sentence was in accordance with the demands of the prosecution some womens’ activists were unhappy, saying a heavier penalty should have been applied.

Mrs Prapmi, the first wife, says she is satisfied with the verdict.

Polygamy is legal in Indonesia under certain conditions, one of them being that the first wife gives her permission to enable her husband to sow his oats more widely, in a legally sanctioned manner. [1]

↑1 Gatra

Tags: Law, Sumatra

22 Comments on “Polygamous Marriage”

Ihaknt Says:
March 9th, 2007 at 10:47 am
Hehehehe good on you Mrs. Prapmi. We need more women who can stand up for themselves! Patung, did you mean oath?
Dimp Says:
March 9th, 2007 at 11:07 am
What will happen after ten months then? Will he go back to the first wife? Or second wife? What happened if after 5 months the wife decided to let him get a second wife? Will he be released then? Or if she decided to divorce him, then will he still be required to be in prison?

Again this show how law is only applicable to the ones without any money and power, I don’t think Yahya Zaini ever got punished because of his action.
Grace and Mercy Says:
March 9th, 2007 at 11:49 am
Ihaknt

Sowing oats means “menyebar benih” hehehe.. what a term huh
Ihaknt Says:
March 9th, 2007 at 12:13 pm
IIIIIIIEEEWWW!!! I won’t have that for breakfast no more!!! Thanks GM!
Madesh Says:
March 9th, 2007 at 1:36 pm
Doesn’t the government realise that by allowing polygamy practise will be contradiction with the birth control policy, because one man can become a father of four kids in a year.
Or is the Indonesian population growth at the moment is so low then the government needs to encourage people to have more kids?
Do they still believe in more kids more fortunes?
What about its economic growth then?
1ndra Says:
March 10th, 2007 at 9:13 am
Dimp: And the man don’t have any money and power so he’s being jailed?

Madesh : Well it’s all about the same. If the man could do KB with his 2 wives then he have only 4 children and the same as if it’s a two family who have KB each, 2 childs each=4 children total.
Ihaknt Says:
March 10th, 2007 at 10:03 am
1ndra you are so pro-polygamy and we all know it. How many wives do you have? Don’t you think it’s unfair though, that this Mr. Riduwan was sentenced and yet YZ was not? The humiliation is probably the same, but if one breaks a rule, why does the punishment applies differently to another?
Madesh Says:
March 10th, 2007 at 11:36 am
1ndra,
Come on, of course each wife wants to have her own child. It will be not fair to treat wives differently.
If you want to breed chickens you need only one cock for every 20 hens, it is polygamy.
But in polyandry it works on the other way
So do you want to sabotage the KB program while poverty is still the dominant problem in this country?
1ndra Says:
March 10th, 2007 at 12:38 pm
Ihaknt : I’m neutral, as you see on my last posts.
The YZ is different, he wasn’t poligamous.

Madesh : Sabotage?
Madesh Says:
March 10th, 2007 at 1:05 pm
Yes, promoting polygamy in this country means trying to sabotage the RI government’s KB program otherwise you have to treat unfairly your wives.
Yunir Says:
March 10th, 2007 at 1:55 pm
Hi all,

I think to say that polygamy will necessarily result in a higher number of children is a false conception. It is not the men who gives birth, but the women. It does not matter who the women marry to.
Madesh Says:
March 10th, 2007 at 3:07 pm
Yunir,

Have you even seen a kennel? That is a place where a person breeds dogs.
He only needs one male dog for let’s say 5 females.
Why? Because male dog can produce enough sperm to fertilise the ovum of the female dogs, while the female dogs every time she gets pregnant she has to bear the puppies until delivery. That’s polygamy
Niamh Piperman Says:
March 10th, 2007 at 3:13 pm
I know an Indonesian family whose father was polygamous. He basically forced the first wife to accept the second - much younger - ‘wife’, and it brought nothing but heartache and trouble for over 15 years. Finally the father died and life became much happier except the 2nd wife and her childen are now living in fear that they will soon be thrown out of the household with nothing to their name. I feel sorry for all the children involved - the children from the first wife, because they had to grow up seeing (literally, in some cases) their father sowing his oats with another woman other than their mother; and the children from the 2nd wife, because they are in fear of losing their home through no fault of their own.

NP
Niamh Piperman Says:
March 10th, 2007 at 3:16 pm
I will say one other thing, however. It is common knowledge that many Indonesian married men have ‘Wanita Simpanan’. At least those who advocate polygamy are willing to be open about it, rather than hypocriticaly keeping their ‘mistress’ and his ‘illegitimate children’ under wraps.

NP
Colson Says:
March 10th, 2007 at 3:24 pm
It’s really fun to read discussions about the habit of polygamy that used to be practiced by combative nomad tribes ( with extreme male mortality rates) from the deserts, some millenium ago. The joke is that in some remote parts of the world there still are some living creatures who see some sense in treating women that way. Hilarious!
Bas Says:
March 10th, 2007 at 5:58 pm
The first good news in 2007!
1ndra Says:
March 10th, 2007 at 6:00 pm
If wives born 2 child each then its a KB Madesh.
Even there’re 2 3 or 4 wives.
Mohammed Khafi Says:
March 11th, 2007 at 7:40 pm
He’s lucky we don’t live in a Sharia controlled country! As his polygamous marriage was illegal that makes him technically an adulterer, he could have been stoned to death!

Peace
Niamh Piperman Says:
March 12th, 2007 at 12:16 pm
Mohammed Khafi Says:

March 11th, 2007 at 7:40 pm

He’s lucky we don’t live in a Sharia controlled country! As his polygamous marriage was illegal that makes him technically an adulterer, he could have been stoned to death!

Peace

Yes. Another problem too is that, because the 2nd wife’s children are not legally recognised, they cannot get birth certificates and thus (I think) no KTP.

NP
Bibiana Petrera Brajaya Says:
March 28th, 2007 at 5:38 pm
Hi.
I’m an italian woman still married with an Indonesian Man who just recently without me knowing had married to a woman with a child from a previous marriage in Sulawesi. Well apart from the fact that I didn’t know he got married and not yet divorced me, I didn’t give him any permission to have a second wife especially because I don’t think he can support me and her at the same time ever since I was the only one who worked in the family and provides for him.
I add also that I’m a recognized animation artist [search my name on google] so I’m a person with a certain credibility and not a concubine of this man.
I will do my best to send my husband, Pudimal Brajaya to jail as soon as I can. I want his new daughter to know who is her new father.
Funny he also sent me to hospital for one week because he was jealous, funny he realize his jealousy was unfouded, funny he is the one who betray me in the end.
Funny this polygamy law, isn’t it?
Bibiana Petrera Brajaya
Ameen Says:
April 15th, 2007 at 3:18 am
I feel sorry for everyone who is betraying and betrayed, because that is no good state of life for any of them. Though it finds many polemic comments, and harsh feelings, do I see the real wisdom in the polygamy.

Me myself I was seeking for one wife, and I had a severe moment of awakening over seeing my responsibilities in the further future. It is maybe for many people more and more westernized, democratized, or modernized minds normal to claim being able to live alone.. and couples especially from these horizons have no durability. Nevertheless there is a huge civilization in front of the door, most vitality gets and cultivates a couple from inside the home sphere. Intact families offer the best environment to make monogamy successful, that is my believe.

But what do people do, who want to marry but have not such intact family in the back… live as strangers somewhere, or just have no parents, or relatives at all.
That counts for my case. I don’t have any family members who could create ease for my wife, be proper intellectual exchange to her, or can assist her when she needs them. Not one person. Should I drive a woman into such situation? Can I call her my beloved wife, when the consequence is her solitude, isolation?

I am a very honest person, and I would never do something like that. I do not kill the psyche of the most beloved person in my life! And as Muslim I will be held accountable for all my decisions, also when it is in that regard.

What would it provoce then, if I’d marry her, and leave the house daily for many hours? More hours than an employee, because I am proprietor and manager of two companies. Sure I would have to organize my life appropriately, but can it ever compensate the actual needs and the upcoming duties outside?

Never!

She might after some time seek her own socialization, which must not be always trustful. She might compensate with immense communication costs to phone the family and friends abroad. She might get dull by watching every day TV and getting brainwashed, till a degree that we cannot understand each other. She might not be able to bring up the children alone. It is not that I would force that.. but look at it from another side..

Does a wife not want to feel relaxed about the financial situation? Does a wife not want to admire her husband for his accomplishments? Does a wife not want to feel an important part of the society? Does a wife not want to enjoy freedom to do and live as she otherwise wishes? Does a wife not have the right to be served?

She has all these rights..

and my wife will have more. She can administer with me in many questions about the businesses, and our charitable work. She can find adequate ways to verify eligible receivers of help. She can design her Islamic clothes, and we try to make them together true.. She can have our library with Internet access and all books, magazines, journals, newspapers as she ever requests me to give her…

and she will have socialization.

We found a way to resemble a family environment. How?

By polygamy.

Everyone knows about each other, and everyone agreed upon that form of living.

The first gave the right to marry me to the second, the second gave it free to the first again, and they made then the second first again, knowing that it is not important in which position a wife is married.. but to be wife in the right constellation.

First I believe that a constellation of two would be harmful for each of the wives, because jealousy could be created, and be manifest. That I wanted to avoid under all circumstances. So I thought about HOW TO DIMINISH the jealousy factor. I underline that I did not want to marry many women.. so it is not sexual hunger, or other often men attached primitivism. I did not seek to live to the extent of maximum four wives in Islam, and I would also not do that. I would create also problems for me to be heard, when 4 women opposed me.

But, with three wives would the chance exist, to bring the focus away from most envy. Now it is also wonderful, that all women are from very different cultures, yeah different continents. That promotes more a position of mutual understanding, and curious understanding, as if all would be from the same hemisphere and get all the time into arguments about minor issues, because life lacks major issues.

You will hopefully pray for me, that this life can succeed. We are all very honest in doing all we can do, and we gathered after having clarified many personal doubts, fears, and concerns, a great base to make this true. When I set my foot first time into that direction, I never anticipated to reach that position.

Sure, everyone needs privacy, but where do we enjoy most our happiness? In the circle of the people that make up our family. And especially from the patriarch in and around classic Rome we have the noun “famiglia” which includes everyone who is nourished by one hand. And I wish that we live an example of real Islam, which promotes understanding, and the position that luck and love are the greater, the greater we share.

Should some mind put together counter-questions that stress women’s right to polyandry, then I refer to the last revelation and ask you to study yourself the impossibility of such claim. It is not the sex maniac who talks her. But the loving husband, and accept it better like that. On that base can everyone think, who means that I would be an egoist, but the opposite is the true case.

I take more responsibility, have more difficulties, the ordainment to be just at all times - and not to prefer any of them - and during all emotions, and to give them all the same rights on me. That is huge, and it is a sacrifice. My sacrifice, to fulfill my right to marry in an optimum but minimum compromise situation.

Allah may accept it! This to see into another one’s heart.
Salam aleikum wa rahmatuLLAHI wa baraktuH
Ameen Th. Mann
Wayne Says:
August 24th, 2007 at 12:56 pm
Riduwan, otherwise known as Iwan, 31 years old, from Jambi, was sentenced to ten months jail for taking a second wife.

Wait a minute here all you people who wish jail time for this man. Has any-one considered his mental state. What I mean here is he must be a very disturbed man to want two wives, I have only one ( god bless her soul ) one is more than enough problems for one man , But to actually want TWO wives. He is a very very disturbed man. HE should be pitied and counselled.

Sorry ladies a wee bit of light humor.