Polygamous Marriage

Mar 9th, 2007, in News, by

A man is imprisoned for unlawful polygamy.

Riduwan, otherwise known as Iwan, 31 years old, from Jambi, was sentenced to ten months jail for taking a second wife without his first wife's permission. Riduwan falsified details on his (second) marriage certificate, giving the impression that permission had been given.

Although the ten month sentence was in accordance with the demands of the prosecution some womens' activists were unhappy, saying a heavier penalty should have been applied.

Mrs Prapmi, the first wife, says she is satisfied with the verdict.

Polygamy is legal in Indonesia under certain conditions, one of them being that the first wife gives her permission to enable her husband to sow his oats more widely, in a legally sanctioned manner. Gatra


25 Comments on “Polygamous Marriage”

  1. avatar Ihaknt says:

    Hehehehe good on you Mrs. Prapmi. We need more women who can stand up for themselves! Patung, did you mean oath?

  2. avatar Dimp says:

    What will happen after ten months then? Will he go back to the first wife? Or second wife? What happened if after 5 months the wife decided to let him get a second wife? Will he be released then? Or if she decided to divorce him, then will he still be required to be in prison?

    Again this show how law is only applicable to the ones without any money and power, I don’t think Yahya Zaini ever got punished because of his action.

  3. avatar Grace and Mercy says:

    Ihaknt

    Sowing oats means “menyebar benih” hehehe.. what a term huh 😀

  4. avatar Ihaknt says:

    IIIIIIIEEEWWW!!! I won’t have that for breakfast no more!!! Thanks GM!

  5. avatar Madesh says:

    Doesn’t the government realise that by allowing polygamy practise will be contradiction with the birth control policy, because one man can become a father of four kids in a year.
    Or is the Indonesian population growth at the moment is so low then the government needs to encourage people to have more kids?
    Do they still believe in more kids more fortunes?
    What about its economic growth then?

  6. avatar 1ndra says:

    Dimp: And the man don’t have any money and power so he’s being jailed?

    Madesh : Well it’s all about the same. If the man could do KB with his 2 wives then he have only 4 children and the same as if it’s a two family who have KB each, 2 childs each=4 children total.

  7. avatar Ihaknt says:

    1ndra you are so pro-polygamy and we all know it. How many wives do you have? Don’t you think it’s unfair though, that this Mr. Riduwan was sentenced and yet YZ was not? The humiliation is probably the same, but if one breaks a rule, why does the punishment applies differently to another?

  8. avatar Madesh says:

    1ndra,
    Come on, of course each wife wants to have her own child. It will be not fair to treat wives differently.
    If you want to breed chickens you need only one cock for every 20 hens, it is polygamy.
    But in polyandry it works on the other way
    So do you want to sabotage the KB program while poverty is still the dominant problem in this country?

  9. avatar 1ndra says:

    Ihaknt : I’m neutral, as you see on my last posts.
    The YZ is different, he wasn’t poligamous.

    Madesh : Sabotage?

  10. avatar Madesh says:

    Yes, promoting polygamy in this country means trying to sabotage the RI government’s KB program otherwise you have to treat unfairly your wives.

  11. avatar Yunir says:

    Hi all,

    I think to say that polygamy will necessarily result in a higher number of children is a false conception. It is not the men who gives birth, but the women. It does not matter who the women marry to.

  12. avatar Madesh says:

    Yunir,

    Have you even seen a kennel? That is a place where a person breeds dogs.
    He only needs one male dog for let’s say 5 females.
    Why? Because male dog can produce enough sperm to fertilise the ovum of the female dogs, while the female dogs every time she gets pregnant she has to bear the puppies until delivery. That’s polygamy

  13. avatar Niamh Piperman says:

    I know an Indonesian family whose father was polygamous. He basically forced the first wife to accept the second – much younger – ‘wife’, and it brought nothing but heartache and trouble for over 15 years. Finally the father died and life became much happier except the 2nd wife and her childen are now living in fear that they will soon be thrown out of the household with nothing to their name. I feel sorry for all the children involved – the children from the first wife, because they had to grow up seeing (literally, in some cases) their father sowing his oats with another woman other than their mother; and the children from the 2nd wife, because they are in fear of losing their home through no fault of their own.

    NP

  14. avatar Niamh Piperman says:

    I will say one other thing, however. It is common knowledge that many Indonesian married men have ‘Wanita Simpanan’. At least those who advocate polygamy are willing to be open about it, rather than hypocriticaly keeping their ‘mistress’ and his ‘illegitimate children’ under wraps.

    NP

  15. avatar Colson says:

    It’s really fun to read discussions about the habit of polygamy that used to be practiced by combative nomad tribes ( with extreme male mortality rates) from the deserts, some millenium ago. The joke is that in some remote parts of the world there still are some living creatures who see some sense in treating women that way. Hilarious!

  16. avatar Bas says:

    The first good news in 2007!

  17. avatar 1ndra says:

    If wives born 2 child each then its a KB Madesh.
    Even there’re 2 3 or 4 wives.

  18. avatar Mohammed Khafi says:

    He’s lucky we don’t live in a Sharia controlled country! As his polygamous marriage was illegal that makes him technically an adulterer, he could have been stoned to death!

    Peace

  19. avatar Niamh Piperman says:

    Mohammed Khafi Says:

    March 11th, 2007 at 7:40 pm

    He’s lucky we don’t live in a Sharia controlled country! As his polygamous marriage was illegal that makes him technically an adulterer, he could have been stoned to death!

    Peace

    Yes. Another problem too is that, because the 2nd wife’s children are not legally recognised, they cannot get birth certificates and thus (I think) no KTP.

    NP

  20. avatar Bibiana Petrera Brajaya says:

    Hi.
    I’m an italian woman still married with an Indonesian Man who just recently without me knowing had married to a woman with a child from a previous marriage in Sulawesi. Well apart from the fact that I didn’t know he got married and not yet divorced me, I didn’t give him any permission to have a second wife especially because I don’t think he can support me and her at the same time ever since I was the only one who worked in the family and provides for him.
    I add also that I’m a recognized animation artist [search my name on google] so I’m a person with a certain credibility and not a concubine of this man.
    I will do my best to send my husband, Pudimal Brajaya to jail as soon as I can. I want his new daughter to know who is her new father.
    Funny he also sent me to hospital for one week because he was jealous, funny he realize his jealousy was unfouded, funny he is the one who betray me in the end.
    Funny this polygamy law, isn’t it?
    Bibiana Petrera Brajaya

  21. avatar Ameen says:

    I feel sorry for everyone who is betraying and betrayed, because that is no good state of life for any of them. Though it finds many polemic comments, and harsh feelings, do I see the real wisdom in the polygamy.

    Me myself I was seeking for one wife, and I had a severe moment of awakening over seeing my responsibilities in the further future. It is maybe for many people more and more westernized, democratized, or modernized minds normal to claim being able to live alone.. and couples especially from these horizons have no durability. Nevertheless there is a huge civilization in front of the door, most vitality gets and cultivates a couple from inside the home sphere. Intact families offer the best environment to make monogamy successful, that is my believe.

    But what do people do, who want to marry but have not such intact family in the back… live as strangers somewhere, or just have no parents, or relatives at all.
    That counts for my case. I don’t have any family members who could create ease for my wife, be proper intellectual exchange to her, or can assist her when she needs them. Not one person. Should I drive a woman into such situation? Can I call her my beloved wife, when the consequence is her solitude, isolation?

    I am a very honest person, and I would never do something like that. I do not kill the psyche of the most beloved person in my life! And as Muslim I will be held accountable for all my decisions, also when it is in that regard.

    What would it provoce then, if I’d marry her, and leave the house daily for many hours? More hours than an employee, because I am proprietor and manager of two companies. Sure I would have to organize my life appropriately, but can it ever compensate the actual needs and the upcoming duties outside?

    Never!

    She might after some time seek her own socialization, which must not be always trustful. She might compensate with immense communication costs to phone the family and friends abroad. She might get dull by watching every day TV and getting brainwashed, till a degree that we cannot understand each other. She might not be able to bring up the children alone. It is not that I would force that.. but look at it from another side..

    Does a wife not want to feel relaxed about the financial situation? Does a wife not want to admire her husband for his accomplishments? Does a wife not want to feel an important part of the society? Does a wife not want to enjoy freedom to do and live as she otherwise wishes? Does a wife not have the right to be served?

    She has all these rights..

    and my wife will have more. She can administer with me in many questions about the businesses, and our charitable work. She can find adequate ways to verify eligible receivers of help. She can design her Islamic clothes, and we try to make them together true.. She can have our library with Internet access and all books, magazines, journals, newspapers as she ever requests me to give her…

    and she will have socialization.

    We found a way to resemble a family environment. How?

    By polygamy.

    Everyone knows about each other, and everyone agreed upon that form of living.

    The first gave the right to marry me to the second, the second gave it free to the first again, and they made then the second first again, knowing that it is not important in which position a wife is married.. but to be wife in the right constellation.

    First I believe that a constellation of two would be harmful for each of the wives, because jealousy could be created, and be manifest. That I wanted to avoid under all circumstances. So I thought about HOW TO DIMINISH the jealousy factor. I underline that I did not want to marry many women.. so it is not sexual hunger, or other often men attached primitivism. I did not seek to live to the extent of maximum four wives in Islam, and I would also not do that. I would create also problems for me to be heard, when 4 women opposed me.

    But, with three wives would the chance exist, to bring the focus away from most envy. Now it is also wonderful, that all women are from very different cultures, yeah different continents. That promotes more a position of mutual understanding, and curious understanding, as if all would be from the same hemisphere and get all the time into arguments about minor issues, because life lacks major issues.

    You will hopefully pray for me, that this life can succeed. We are all very honest in doing all we can do, and we gathered after having clarified many personal doubts, fears, and concerns, a great base to make this true. When I set my foot first time into that direction, I never anticipated to reach that position.

    Sure, everyone needs privacy, but where do we enjoy most our happiness? In the circle of the people that make up our family. And especially from the patriarch in and around classic Rome we have the noun “famiglia” which includes everyone who is nourished by one hand. And I wish that we live an example of real Islam, which promotes understanding, and the position that luck and love are the greater, the greater we share.

    Should some mind put together counter-questions that stress women’s right to polyandry, then I refer to the last revelation and ask you to study yourself the impossibility of such claim. It is not the sex maniac who talks her. But the loving husband, and accept it better like that. On that base can everyone think, who means that I would be an egoist, but the opposite is the true case.

    I take more responsibility, have more difficulties, the ordainment to be just at all times – and not to prefer any of them – and during all emotions, and to give them all the same rights on me. That is huge, and it is a sacrifice. My sacrifice, to fulfill my right to marry in an optimum but minimum compromise situation.

    Allah may accept it! This to see into another one’s heart.
    Salam aleikum wa rahmatuLLAHI wa baraktuH
    Ameen Th. Mann

  22. avatar mingo says:

    Riduwan, otherwise known as Iwan, 31 years old, from Jambi, was sentenced to ten months jail for taking a second wife.

    Wait a minute here all you people who wish jail time for this man. Has any-one considered his mental state. What I mean here is he must be a very disturbed man to want two wives, I have only one ( god bless her soul ) one is more than enough problems for one man , But to actually want TWO wives. He is a very very disturbed man. HE should be pitied and counselled.

    Sorry ladies a wee bit of light humor.

  23. avatar Acidio Wiseman says:

    in Islam,it is not against the law if one who married the second time even without the permission of the first wife..

    i was assigned before by my lecturer about polygamy 2 years ago.n i did a lot of research about it..n what makes me remember till now is about a scholar from Europe (a woman,i forgot her name.its been 2 years) made a studies about polygamy for years..n after few years researching n examining she made a conclusion,i still remember it (coz i presented about polygamy in front of 60 ppl),she said;

    “men by nature are polygamists,women are monogamists”

    in her research she finds out that even during the child birth,the nature of the newborn were already reflect there,where man/polygamy n woman/monogamy

    so it means..even a man have a wife,deep down inside his nature is still polygamist..the same also in a woman,monogamist.

    look! the scholar,she’s not a Muslim n she’s a woman,yet she admitted.n tell the truth.y?coz she have the knowledge..n if u have knowledge u don’t think with ur emotions but with ur head

    women who declared she’s islam nowadays think with emotion..no wonder she’s happy his man were sentenced by 10 months in prison.

    during the Prophet (PBUH) period,they r many companions (sahabat) of the Prophet that practiced polygamy..but nowadays by the secular law ruling the world n the rising of feminism n even islam’s body (Sister in Islam-saying polygamy is outlaw),marriage only to one..

    there r reasons why Allah make polygamy as legal,although He never tell us specifically why He permitted it..but we can think logically..by the rising of women population.n more birth r female babies (don’t go for population rate,its theory.go for practical/see with ur own eyes)..go anywhere n everywhere,shopping centers,institutions,good places,bad places etc u can find more women than men..

    so it means the options of women choosing husbands become decreasing n decreasing.no wonder some of them get old n still not married (i don’t need to explain other disadvantages)..

    at some points,we r in need to polygamy (not all points,some points)

    see!,what u do by ur emotions on what God has permitted,the bad will goes back to u..

    ”What goes around comes back around”

  24. avatar Achmed says:

    Lot of nepotism, hypocrism in Indonesia. Sad enough.
    Half of the government has sex in Sukabumi with young girls during the weekend because working for the Government means: married only once.
    There is more sex in Indonesia than in entire Europe, believe me. Every village here has razias and so called “sosialisasi-projects” (hahaha). Talking about anti-porno policy from the Government?

    About Polygamy: Just watch babboons, chimpansees and other animals prictising that on National Geoghrapic and Discovery Channel.

    I want to have more wives, also. Love a good sex experience. Wongdeso porepper!!!

  25. avatar Novieta Baharuddin says:

    Hi.. I am a sister of Pudimal Brajaya ( used to be a husband of Bibiana Petrera). Lucky me when they were stay in Bali, I was there too for my business matter. I’ve stay for almost 4 years.. and I know what was happen. Sadly I have to inform everyone whose will read this comment that their marriage condition far away from happiness. The different character and the way of thinking about relationship between 2 cultures are the main problem. As Indonesian wife, she should follows any rules of husband want her to be, as not have any relationship again with any other man, specially a man from her last time relationship. As far as I know, she was the one who want to go back to Italy and want to have the divorced. So.. Sis, just leave Bang Ata continuing his life because what ever it is because yo marriage under Islamic rules, and when the man agreed with your purpose to be divorced, it is done.

    You could continuing your life too with better way.. Ok sis?

    Good luck.

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